I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified, multi-cultural, post-modern deconstructionist, anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been uplinked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech lowlife. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker, and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond.

I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.

Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, ridin' the wave, dodgin' the bullet and pushin' the envelope. I’m on-point, on-task, on-message and off drugs. I’ve got no need for coke and speed. I've got no urge to binge and purge. I’m in-the-moment, on-the-edge, over-the-top and under-the-radar. A high-concept, low-profile, medium-range ballistic missionary. A street-wise smart bomb. A top-gun bottom feeder. I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps, I run victory laps. I’m a totally ongoing big-foot, slam-dunk, rainmaker with a pro-active outreach. A raging workaholic. A working rageaholic. Out of rehab and in denial!

I’ve got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant and a personal agenda. You can’t shut me up. You can’t dumb me down, 'cause I’m tireless and I’m wireless, I’m an alpha male on beta-blockers.

I’m a non-believer and an over-achiever, laid-back but fashion-forward. Up-front, down-home, low-rent, high-maintenance. Super-sized, long-lasting, high-definition, fast-acting, oven-ready, and built to last. I’m a hands-on, foot-loose, knee-jerk head case, pre-maturely post-traumatic, and I’ve got a love child that sends me hate mail.

But, I’m feeling, I’m caring, I’m healing, I’m sharing-- a supportive, bonding, nurturing primary care-giver. My output is down, but my income is up. I took a short position on the long bond and my revenue stream has its own cash flow. I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds, I watch trash sports! I’m gender specific, capital intensive, user-friendly, and lactose intolerant.

I like rough sex. I like tough love. I use the “F” word in my emails and the software on my hard-drive is hardcore--no soft porn.

I bought a microwave at a mini-mall; I bought a mini-van at a megastore. I eat fast food in the slow lane. I’m toll-free, bite-sized, ready-to-wear and I come in all sizes. A fully-equipped, factory-authorized, hospital-tested, clinically-proven, scientifically-formulated medical miracle. I’ve been pre-washed, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped, vacuum-packed, and, I have an unlimited broadband capacity.

I’m a rude dude, but I’m the real deal. Lean and mean, cocked, locked and ready-to-rock. Rough, tough and hard to bluff. I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride with the tide. I’ve got glide in my stride. Drivin' and movin', sailin' and spinnin', jivin' and groovin', wailin' and winnin'. I don’t snooze, so I don’t lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hardy and lunch time is crunch time. I’m hangin' in, there ain’t no doubt, and I’m hangin' tough, over and out!

-George Carlin

So anyway, HAY GUIS WHATS UP :U

Can i offer you a cup of copyandpasta?
or are you full up?

were those his last words?

More like last liturgy.

Wasn't he great ?

i heard this on one of his albums.

I've heard bits and pieces of stand-up acts he did, I wasn't really impressed and I didn't think he was funny.

he just yelled and cursed a lot.

"Religion convinced the world that there's an invisible man in the sky who watches everything you do. And there's 10 things he doesn't want you to do or else you'll to to a burning place with a lake of fire until the end of eternity. But he loves you! ...And he needs money! He's all powerful, but he can't handle money!" - George Carlin

Quote from Nodd

I've heard bits and pieces of stand-up acts he did,

Hmm, maybe that's your problem.

Quote from Nodd

I've heard bits and pieces of stand-up acts he did, I wasn't really impressed and I didn't think he was funny.

he just yelled and cursed a lot.

Listen to his older stuff, like from the 80's.

If you still don't like it, go way the **** back to the 60's.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yakmPBachUE

(Yes, that is a picture of him)

I love that modern man "speech" it's amazing how he kept it up and didn't **** any line up and kept going and going. Love him and I always will.

Quote from Schwa

Hmm, maybe that's your problem.

I really don't care, the only comedians I seem to like are Jim Gaffigan, Demetri Martin, and Daniel Tosh.

I prefer Bill Hicks, because he was funny, and shit.

Didn't really listen much to George Carlin, and those that I heard didn't seem that funny.

Yeah, that's cool how he can remember that and say it without stopping, like his natural disaster bit.

He's awesome.

****ing loved George Carlin and as soon as I saw the name of the thread I recognized it.


Complaints And Grievances was a great album, just like every other one of his albums.

He was a groundbreaking comedian and damn funny to the end.

He will be sorely missed.

Quote from Slayer

Yeah, that's cool how he can remember that and say it without stopping, like his natural disaster bit.

He's awesome.

Oh yeah, I love the ending.