Quote from zymn

This is some thing I posted on Games Radar.




Ok, not exactly a review, but more of a resume.

Ok, so gaming has come a long way since the 70s. From pixels to polygons, bleeps to screams, bulky consoles to- wait, we still have those.

Thats, right. For example:

A Vintage Atari:


A Brand New Xbox 360:

Hey, specs and all.

Well, let me just say that when I got my 360, I had to carry it all the way from the back of Wal-Mart to the front. I felt the odd urge to run and throw it to see how far it would go.
Then a 10 year old asian girl would come up, say shes 16, and win. But, nevermind about about that.
Anyways, that thing really was heavy. Along with my sweaty hands, I came close to dropping it. I thought about buying another one as a bench-press set. I mean, if technology is getting smaller, why do we have these collossal things? My house is small enough. Now, I will make an exception for the Wii. Thanks Nintendo!
Technology IS getting smaller. If it was the same size as the past but as technologically advanced as today, you'd be carrying a minivan instead of an 8lb 360. The Wii is also the least technologically advanced, which may be a reason it's smaller and lighter. Not that it's a bad system.

Now, on to game controllers. I figure that developers lost creativity in the mid-90s.
As an example:


See the difference? No? Then congratulations, you don't need glasses. Come back in a year.
But, yeah. They really seem to all look alike, no matter how you see it. Now, I'll make an exception for the Wii. Even though it looks like a TV remote.
I see a huge difference in controllers. Dreamcast is jagged and poorly designed, the Gamecube is strange, but adaptable, and the 360 feels pretty nice in the palm of your hands. The only real noticable likeness is the buttons, which I don't see a reason to complain about. WHY A, B, X, Y?! Be-fucking-cause.

Next up: Power plugs. Have you SEEN the 360 power cord?! This thing is almost as big as Andy Rooney's eyebrows! I saw this thing and was about to say "It was Mr. Green in the lounge with the blunt end of a power supply."
This thing is crazy! What happened with these things? Also, if you want to know another thing annoying with power, you should look up how much these cost a month in electricity.
You're essentially running a miniature computer. Of course it's going to take a lot of power. Also, would you like it to be the size of a regular cord, then melt in a couple days? Feel that box after your 360 has been on for a couple hours. It's fucking hot. Imagine if it was smaller without some cooling parts in it.


And lastly: packages. No, not the game console boxes, i mean the stuff like Xbox Live point cards or Wii Point cards. These things are almost impossible to open! Who came up with those dumb seals? You can't open them with your fingernails. Pfft, I'm pretty sure you can't open it with a chainsaw. Yeah, just TRY opening it with scissors. Have fun with that.
If you weren't mentally challenged your parents would let you use real scissors instead of kindergarten safety scissors. No wonder you're having trouble.

Well, thats all i can think of right now.
Hope i got a good laugh out of you guys. Thats my job.

Quote from Axle

2-D, a sixaxis is a PS2 controler without a cord.

Quote from zymn

Anyways, that thing really was heavy. Along with my sweaty hands, I came close to dropping it. I thought about buying another one as a bench-press set.