Quote from Zyles

It was in a glass, and I thought it was lemonade.

Quote from Zyles

Hm, them spoons don't make Oprah fat. And guns don't kill people.

Quote from Ampersand

I was hiking with a couple of friends at Short Mountain [place nearby, it's essentially a short mountain]. The hike to where it tops off and plateaus is about a quarter mile, at about a 60-70 degree slope. Once you reach the top, it's beautiful. Lots of overlooks and cliffs, it's really quite a sight. But no one goes there for that. So then you walk about three quarters of a mile and you get to a fork in the mountain. To the right, the pussy way down. Slope to a field in the middle. Fairly easy. To the left, is the man's way down. You follow the trail a little further until you get to a large flat top cliff. Almost looks blacktop-ish. It's where people hang out, drink, smoke, etc. From there, you climb down about 15 feet to a dirt slide. You slide down about 30 feet at another 60-70 degree incline. It's so fucking fun. You cannot imagine. After this badass dirt slide, you land at the field I mentioned earlier. You're scratched up, dirty, and the adrenaline's pumping. It feels great. You walk across the field to the second and final slide, seperated into about 3 sections. From the start of the field, it looks like a short walk down to the beach. Wrong. You get to the slide and it's another 60-70 degree slide, 100 feet. There's rock, dirt, thorns, and poison ivy. The first section is about 30 feet of dirt and big rocks. It's the treacherous part. The first time I went down, I nearly fell and tumbled, which would've ended poorly. The second section is another 30 feet of grass, dirt, poison ivy, and thorns. It's pretty easy down, so long as you avoid the thorns and poison ivy. The third section is 40 feet down and nearly nothing but rock. It's pretty easy down, although the last 15 feet is more walking and climbing down to the beach, not a straight drop though. Regardless, going down it is one of the most fun things I have done to date. It's wreckless, it's dangerous, and it's awesome. After the slide, it's a quarter mile walk on the beach through the sand back to the vehicles.

So yesterday, we decide to do this for the third time. Went Friday and Saturday, and wasn't gonna skip out for Sunday. We get there, the hike up is fairly easy, a couple breaks along the way, I mean come on, we're not the most fit people. So we get to the top, walk along the overlook, look at the cliffs, then head back along the trail. We weren't there to sightsee, we were there for the slides. We go along the three quarters, get to the fork. We climb around, look off the cliffs into the field, and turn back and continue to press on. We get to the blacktop-looking cliff and take another look at the field. At the bottom, written out in rocks, there was a message. It originally said something along the lines of, "I miss you boy," a memorial to a guy who fell of the cliff and died, and, "I <3 Nicole." But being the dicks we are, a friend of mine rearranged the first message into, "Fuck you boy", while I rearranged the second into something along the lines of "8==D Nicole." But I digress. We walk over to the 15 foot drop. This is where I broke my leg. At the start of the descent. We begin to climb down. I get down about 2 feet and decide to drop. I've done this twice before, nothing's gone wrong. My feet hurt for a bit before I continue down and that's that. Well, this time, I drop, land on my feet, try to drop them out from underneath me to prevent damage, but my right foot turns to the right, and folds under my leg to the point of my calf. I yell, I start to laugh, and I sit down. I figure, "Shit, I've sprained my ankle." So I try to stand on it, but no dice, it won't hold me. So my friends get down to me and I tell them to go ahead and slide down. They go down and then I follow, at a much slower pace than usual. I mean, you're supposed to fly down these things, but I went really slow. I get to the bottom and try to walk on it, and success, I can. But it hurts a bit and it's very wobbly. Unless I stand perfectly flat-footed, leg straight, pain shoots up my leg and I fall. We make it across the field, to the second slide down. My friends go before me, get down rather quickly. I go as slow and steady as possible, not very easy at this angle, but I grab ahold of grass, rock, roots, trees, whatever I can get ahold of. Make it past the first section. Now comes the second. It gets easier. More trees, more grass, and more roots. Get to the third, and easy myself down the whole way. The last 15 feet was the worst. Nothing but grass and large rocks, the walking part. So I finally get down there and make it to the beach. The worst part of all. A quater mile walk through sand back to the car. My friends try to man-crutch me back, but it doesn't help at all, so I tell them to go ahead and get some water as I walk back. After about 10 minutes, I make it back to the car and go home.

This morning I went to the emergency room and figured out that my fibula, the smaller bone in your lower leg was completely snapped, about an inch away from my ankle. Wearing a fiberglass cast and seeing an orthapedic surgeon Thursday.

+15 points to Badass
+6 inches to e-Penis

tl;dr I broke my leg, then proceeded to climb down a mountain and walk a quarter mile in the sand back to my car.