Hank Hensley is a real Geico customer, and not a paid celebrity. So to help tell his story, we've hired Flood.


So i was riding my bike one day, and I swurved in order to avoid hitting a trash can. The right handlebar went through my thigh and I had to receive stitches.

I was riding my bike, then I started to turn around and HOLY MOTHER OF FUCKING CHRIST THERE IS A FUCKING TRASH CAN RIGHT FUCKING IN FRONT OF ME, JESUS CHRIST I'M FUCKING HEADING RIGHT TOWARDS IT, so then I swurve around it and my right handle bar barely clips it and I fall sideways and the left handbrake stabs into my ****ing thigh. Result: 12 stitches on the inside of my skin and 5 on the outside.

Then I was in 6th grade, and i didn't want to miss recess so i hurried on my bike and had a terrible accident. I missed recess.

Next, I was in 6th grade and still in Elementary School, so I was almost late for morning recess, OMG, so I'm speeding to the school on my bike, and there is this swurve on the sidewalk, and I'm going really fast, and I was like, HOLY SHIT, but I swurved and stuff and came out fine, but all the sudden my foot slips off the pedal and its hits the ground and I go flying forward and I land on this ****ing patch of cement where grass should have been, scrape my shit up, with my bike crashing on top of me, and then I hit my head on a street sign, and got knocked out. But some teacher coming to work saw me and got me up, but I FUCKING MISSED RECESS WHAT THE FUCK.

Oh, I see.

They don't show those anymore, now its only the stupid, "So easy a Caveman can do it." commercials.

2 years ago I was a pretty good skatar, I tried to Ollie 11 stairs. Myes, I'm very stupid to attempt that because not.. alot of people could do it. I ollied it, on the 3rd step my board started flipping and I lost control of it. I tried to catch it with my hand before it fell into the water (IN MID AIR) but then I noticed I'm only on the 7th stair. I landed on my wrist and poped It. It wasn't that painful at first, but then I looked at it and it was facing the other direction. I was at my school at the time, I was far away from my house and I didn't want to tell anyone about it. So I had to pop it back into place myself.. When I got home, there was a huge ass mark of the bone I broke on my wrist. I didn't show my mom though, and I got away with it. So now I have a pretty nice scar on my wrist.

Quote from Zed

elbow dislocation

I did this once on my trampoline, the other person jumped right before I landed, which made me jump higher. I wasn't expecting it, I turned slightly in mid-air and landed on my extended arm, hand first. My elbow hyperflexed outward, and then immediately popped back into place. I never told anyone but for about 2 weeks I could barely move it, it was so swollen.

I agree, that hurts like hell, and it took about 8 months for the pain to completely go away.

I have dislocated my shoulder several times playing tennis. First time hurt like hell, second and third time were painful, now it's not that bad at all.

Oh, I also got knocked out by a trampoline.
I tried to jump off of it to the ground. Since hte grass waswet, (it was outside) the trampoline was slippery. When I did jump off I landed on my chest and stopped breathing for like 10 minutes. It was pretty cool.

I don't hate it, but when I hurt myself I'm usually drunk, so I don't even know I'm hurt until the blood starts to cover my entire arm.

Quote from Flood

Oh, I see.

They don't show those anymore, now its only the stupid, "So easy a Caveman can do it." commercials.

really? they stopped showing the caveman ones here and started playing those kinds. ah well

hmm... when have i experienced pain... oh yeah. the second to last day of school, 5th grade. i was running down a sidewalk, and some high schooler tripped me and i fell on the concrete, on my arm. it broke. couldn't do anything fun all summer.

yeah, and when i was getting the cast, the guy said "oh you can swim with this on". then the next guy said "you can't swim with a cast!".

i was disappointed.

That sucks, zymn .