So for the past year or so Ive been noticing that whenever I speak around a group of people, a feeling of dread grows in my stomach and my voice tends to become weak and just break up, and its really embarrasing. Im not an anti-social kind of kid that you would expect something like that to happen to, its like I contracted a disease that that demoralizes you when you speak or cite from a book around other people. Yeah I probably sound like a fag now, but I'd like to learn some tips or solutions so I can talk normally in a public audience.


And try to not to tease me about this kind of thing, its really messed with my confidence when talking.

An ancient greek spokesman wasencountering the same problems.

He went to the seaside and talked loudly while the waves were hitting against the rocks. He had to be really loud for that. That's how he became the greatest spokesman ever.

Not making fun of you, that's how we learned at history. Maybe train or something.

More self confidence methinks.

The disease you've contracted is what I call a lack of self-esteem.



The only solution is to man up and realize that what you have to say is likely important (even though it probably isn't). Whatever you say can't be as embarrassing as what everyone else is saying because it's probably illogical drivel that entices them in to a discussion about something that holds little relevance to the real world and its problems.

Once you realize that what you have to say is far more important and intelligent than what anyone else has to say, your confidence will grow tremendously and people will be fighting you to shut you up: just like the way it should be.

I wouldn't say that WHAT you have to say is important for self confidence. I think it's just how you say it.

As Mantha said, you can practice just speaking up. Preparation helps if you have to give a speech or something. If it's just a spur of the moment thing, just make sure you're speaking loud and proud.

Quote from Dudeman

I wouldn't say that WHAT you have to say is important for self confidence. I think it's just how you say it.

So, you are telling me that so long as you sound intelligent, you will be more confident? That's contradictory: everyone can tell if you are smart or not just by using basic observational skills. If you physically don't meet what they see and expect from you and you try to look smart, your ploy will be shot and they'll see you as an idiot and a liar - and that's exactly what you are.

Quote from Dudeman

As Mantha said, you can practice just speaking up. Preparation helps if you have to give a speech or something. If it's just a spur of the moment thing, just make sure you're speaking loud and proud.

This isn't The Sims. You just don't talk to yourself in a mirror and gain confidence - you gain confidence through time and experience with other people. Preparation helps you remember what to say if you're making a prepared speech (hence the word preparation) - it does not give you the confidence to stand up against a crowd to give the speech.

Speaking loudly does not improve confidence either.

What about something like reading aloud a passage from a book, where you are unknowingly called on and have never seen the book before. What are some good tips.

Quote from randolph

So, you are telling me that so long as you sound intelligent, you will be more confident? That's contradictory: everyone can tell if you are smart or not just by using basic observational skills. If you physically don't meet what they see and expect from you and you try to look smart, your ploy will be shot and they'll see you as an idiot and a liar - and that's exactly what you are.



This isn't The Sims. You just don't talk to yourself in a mirror and gain confidence - you gain confidence through time and experience with other people. Preparation helps you remember what to say if you're making a prepared speech (hence the word preparation) - it does not give you the confidence to stand up against a crowd to give the speech.

Speaking loudly does not improve confidence either.

A little sharp aren't we?

Anyway, practicing the delivery of your speech is just as important as being familiar with the words. I'm not saying this is strictly for speech writing. If he analyzes the traits of how he speaks normally, he can be more prepared to use them. For example if he realizes if voice is dropping, he can be prepared to talk louder, annunciate better, etc. It's not a confidence thing ok. As he said in his post, his bad habbits lower his confidence (not the other way around).

And as for the first part, his intelligence isn't changing. I'm not telling him to act smart and not think about what you say. He's not an idiot and he's not anti-social, so he doesn't have to about people "seeing through his ploy". This is just about communicating more effectively and being prepared to counter a bad speaking habit.


edit: as for reading aloud, try not to get caught completely off guard. Even if you do get caught off guard, just take a deep breath and read the first couple of words before you start. Then when you start, just try to speak confidently and not sweat any mistakes you make.

Quote from randolph

So, you are telling me that so long as you sound intelligent, you will be more confident? That's contradictory: everyone can tell if you are smart or not just by using basic observational skills. If you physically don't meet what they see and expect from you and you try to look smart, your ploy will be shot and they'll see you as an idiot and a liar - and that's exactly what you are.



This isn't The Sims. You just don't talk to yourself in a mirror and gain confidence - you gain confidence through time and experience with other people. Preparation helps you remember what to say if you're making a prepared speech (hence the word preparation) - it does not give you the confidence to stand up against a crowd to give the speech.

Speaking loudly does not improve confidence either.

Hey whoa there buddy. No need to bring personal attacks here. You're acting as if he killed your hamster or something. Chillax.

Plus only speaking loudly won't help and I agree. Nobody said that so you don't have to defend that argument. Combining the techniques is the success. Maybe he's got a class at school that would help him teach the rhetorics.

Oh, I remembered a tip now. My philosophy teacher said that whenever you have a speech or something, you have to pretend people have cabbage instead of heads. Means you don't have to be afraid of anything while you're talking or something.

Lol, cabbage.

stop going on the internet: problem solved.
many problems can be solved using this method.
that'll be 50 bucks.

i love randolph

ignore it and carry on speaking anyway, then make a joke about it

So when exactly did this become the "solve all my social problems" section?

Also, randolph is a tool.

"General Help
Ask questions you have about anything here!"

Quote from Gavel

So when exactly did this become the "solve all my social problems" section?

Since you (or any other moderator) did anything to prevent it.

Quote from Gavel

Also, randolph is a tool.

I am a transcendental academician.