http://soundcloud.com/kyrole/chocolate-filled-boobies

I just added the chorus and pretty much finished up the composition of this song. Now I'm looking for some people to give me feedback on what I have so far. Do you think it's catchy? Do you think everything fits and flows together well?

And if you happen to be an expert producer who knows a lot about mixing and mastering tracks, do you hear something that should be fixed, or have any recommendations on mastering the track?

I will take most of the feedback and use that to hopefully make the song better. Also I plan on adding vocals, but it all depends on how they sound because I'm not a very good singer..

Piano?

hmm, I'm no music expert, and usually more of the fast music kind of person, but i really enjoyed this, not so much at the beginning, as i said I'm more into fast music, but as the song progressed, i felt more relaxed, and the chorus really got me, i started loving the song, but after the chorus.... i don't really know, like, i didn't liked it, but then the chorus again and i loved it even more, but then after the chorus stops too suddenly, you should fade it.
Anyways, i would love to hear this song when you finish it, i really liked it, though some more bass wouldn't hurt it, let me know when your done with this song.

Edit: Actually after listening again a couple of times, I'm okay with the part between the choruses, my problem is the sudden transition from chorus to ending.
and that chorus, i really love it.

Chocolate filled boobies is a very nice name for a song.

Quote from Hidro

hmm, I'm no music expert, and usually more of the fast music kind of person, but i really enjoyed this, not so much at the beginning, as i said I'm more into fast music, but as the song progressed, i felt more relaxed, and the chorus really got me, i started loving the song, but after the chorus.... i don't really know, like, i didn't liked it, but then the chorus again and i loved it even more, but then after the chorus stops too suddenly, you should fade it.
Anyways, i would love to hear this song when you finish it, i really liked it, though some more bass wouldn't hurt it, let me know when your done with this song.

Edit: Actually after listening again a couple of times, I'm okay with the part between the choruses, my problem is the sudden transition from chorus to ending.
and that chorus, i really love it.

thanks a lot! it's good to know you like the chorus better because that's supposed to be the catchier part. although i preferred the verse, probably because that's what i wrote first and i spent way more time on it. the chorus just felt like an after thought to me, sort of like i just threw it in to finish it. i see what you mean about the abrupt ending. once again, that seemed more like something i just threw in to finish the song. i'll work on making it sound better, but i don't want to just do a fade because i really like the sound of the very last part.

also, just curious but what did you use to listen to it? laptop speakers? ipod ear-buds? decent over-ear studio headphones? computer speakers (2.1, 5.1, etc??)?? because some things don't translate to lower quality sound systems (the bass kick for example) which i might try to fix.

Quote from '=^[DarkO

^=;587863']Chocolate filled boobies is a very nice name for a song.

it's a working title! i have a finished title in mind, but it only makes sense if i add the lyrics.

i listened in iPod ear-buds, i'll try listening to it with a more decent couple of headphones

HEY KYLE HOW'S IT GOIN

I listened through and give it about a 7 out of 10 :)

The first "verse" I think builds way too slowly into the chorus. I don't think the opening whistle/beep-tune needed to be repeated as often as it was, especially since that tune is only altered slightly at like the 1-minute mark, and then the echo-guitar layers directly on top of the beeps, without the beeps really changing. I think that when you layer those guitars over the same beep-tune that looped for the first minute, it sounds a little lazy and dragged out unnecessarily. Same thing when the bells/chimes come in at 1:45-ish. Because the underlying melody isn't changing, it sounds like you're buying time by slowly adding instruments to a loop. I think the drum beat throughout the whole verse could change up a little bit too, but that wouldn't be as much of a problem if the first verse was shorter BECAAAAUSE

The chorus does a lot of good stuff! The chords change a little bit, the melody is really fun, and the drum beat is more fleshed out (still repetitive, but it's good that it changes from the verse). I like the chorus a lot more than the verse, but I think a lot of that comes from hearing much less of the chorus than I did of the verse. In other words, if it took less time to get to the chorus, I think the song would feel more balanced and fun to listen to. Right now it sounds like you're having fun with adding layers to a loop, and then a chorus is sort of wedged in. There's more emphasis on your verse, even though the chorus is the more interesting part of the song (in my opinion).

That said, the chorus repeats right next to itself as well! It's not a big deal because it's doesn't last as long as the verse, but, again, when you repeat the chorus and don't change anything about it, it takes away from its effectiveness.

I think it'd be interesting to hear the song with the tunes looped as little as possible. Try to get rid of a section if, right before it, the exact same thing played. In this particular song, the repetition doesn't do a lot to help it because the repeats, more often than not, aren't adding something to the song or taking it anywhere.

I like simple tunes as much as the next dude, but sometimes you'll only have enough material to cover a 2 minute song, not a 4 minute song. I think this particular song (don't take this in a bad way) has enough material in it for a little more than a 2 minute song. This doesn't mean it's bad at all, it's just simple and repeats too often.

Crap I wrote a lot, I really hope this helps and doesn't sound reeaally annoying lol <3 love you kyrole.

We have a Music section, you know.

thanks geo that actually helps a lot! i know exactly what you mean about it being reptitive, but song structure i wanted was verse verse chorus verse middle8 chorus (or something similar) most importantly i wanted the two verses in the beginning. because if i add lyrics then that's the structure i would want them to fit. i also noticed the bell/chimes were the same exact melody, and i have it in mind to change that up a little bit and just have it harmonize with the melody instead of repeating it.

maybe instead of having the verse be the same melody played four times, i'll change it up halfway through or something. i'm not really sure.

and ya i forgot you were musical and probably have perfect (or relative) pitch. from the verse the the chorus i changed the key from A to F#m.. but it's A's relative minor so it's pretty much the same key. and for the most part it's the same chord progression lol. it's weird that everybody likes the chorus better.

i wanted to keep the drums simple since i was trying to take a more lo-fi minimalistic approach to this. but i will try changing the drums and see if i like how it sounds better.

thanks though i really appreciate all of that! hopefully it helps me making this more interesting!!

I can't say much about the mixing/mastering on my work speakers, but it doesn't sound like there are any blatant problems on the technical side of things.

The biggest problem is how one-dimensional it is. Even when every instrument is playing, it has no more energy than the piano intro did. You could skip throughout the entire track on SC and whatever plays will sound roughly the same.

I'm assuming you haven't been making music for very long, so this is far from bad, but nothing about it is very interesting. Just some nice sounding chords and soft synths playing little melodic/harmonic lines that don't seem to move towards anything or try to establish a motif or riff that I'll remember 15 minutes from now.

thanks for the feedback everybody, i think now i have enough to go back and hopefully finish this and make it better. that and also it's been long enough where i can probably hear the faults in the song myself, and also i'm out of my little Youth Lagoon-inspired phase.


exile - i have been making music for quite a while now, but i've never really took it seriously before. most of my songs are garbage that i made as half-jokes. but i took an intro music theory class a few years ago, and i've only made probably like 5-6 songs since then. and the majority of those were still probably half-jokes since i always feel stupid if i try to make serious music. just curious, do you have any music? it says you're a musician! i wanna hear your stuff!

anyway.. i'll post the newest version once i finish it.

Quote from carstraft

exile - i have been making music for quite a while now, but i've never really took it seriously before. most of my songs are garbage that i made as half-jokes. but i took an intro music theory class a few years ago, and i've only made probably like 5-6 songs since then. and the majority of those were still probably half-jokes since i always feel stupid if i try to make serious music.

Half-jokes? Serious music? what are these things

Just write, dude, there's no reason to feel stupid if you take your music seriously.

Quote from carstraft

just curious, do you have any music? it says you're a musician! i wanna hear your stuff!

http://soundcloud.com/kysora/kysora-perihelion-2012-rework

That's the newest one.

yeah i guess i would apply the stupid feeling mostly to writing lyrics. i feel cheesy if i try to write something meaningful, so i come up with silly joke-like words with weird songs.

i don't really know what to say about your track. i'm not really a fan of that type of music at all. so no matter what i'm not going to like it, so i feel like any opinions i have about it would be biased.


anyway if anyone actually cares, i'm gonna abandon the previous song structure since i am most likely not going to add the words that i wrote anyway. i just mashed the first two verses together into a shorter progression and get to the chorus faster. that's what everybody seems to like. i haven't added anything else to the chorus. it already seems so full of sound that it's hard to think of something to add. so far it's a little over 3 minutes.

do you guys think it sounds better with drums like this?

http://www.fileize.com/view/7df7c743-bcf/