Sigh... I've fallen into another phase of sadness and frustration again :( it seems to be happening alot lately. My parents have been pressuring me to spend less time (and maybe have even implied quiting) doing all this artistic stuff. Recently even I have started to question the purpose of why I am even doing this, if doing this is the right thing, and if it is fair that I put this weight on my parents shoulders.
Basically, I've grown up in a sort of "Academically gifted" environement, and all the schools my parents put me in were with "academically gifted" kids (what the schools are called in my state). I've grown to become friends with them, and I find it hard to step out of that zone. They are VERY competitive and strict when it comes to grades and academic accomplishments, and I had been able to keep up with them up unitl high school. This is when things have started to fall apart, and my grades have dropped behind them, and I am now only taking 3 AP courses next year while all my friends are taking 6-7 (and some have even moved on to a more advanced school). My parents are not too happy about this, and have ranted to me about how this will effect my chances of anything in college. They see my art as a sort of waste of time that is eating away at everything else. I have tried to cut down on spending time on art many times before, but I find myself crawling back to it again every time, like its an addiction. My classmates have even started to look down on me a bit ever since I have fallen behind. I am my parents only child, and I do not want to disappoint them.
I've tried talking to them about this multiple times, and they always give me a sad, disapproving look and divert the subject. What do I do? I dont even know anymore. I feel like I have no allies in this world, no one else I know cares about my hobbies like me, and so I feel like this is the only place I can look for help. What should I tell my parents? It just feels like I can't live up to their expectations, and an "artist" as a son is not something they wanted ;_; I want to be smart like the others, but no matter how hard I try, I am nothing compared to them. I am at a loss :(
Edit: Sorry I sound like a little cry baby, its just been building up inside of me for quite a while, and i needed to vent