Chapter 1 :Life as we know it.


Alvastiasia,2789


Its common to have a fear.But its uncommon to fear your potential.Many people embrace the power they have and call it their own,but there are few who fear it and repress all will to use it.But if you figure out your true potential and it scares you It would be kinda scary.

-Garniza,Last of the strong.


"Mommy wheres Daddy going?" Said a very young boy as he tugged on his mothers sleeve.The boy was only 5 years.He stood their a room of their stone wall house With his mother as his father was stopped by the sound of the young boys voice.The father moved Twards his son as the sound of his leather boots made a clunk sound as he walked.

"Zemtell" He said as he put his hand on his sons white hair.I have to go now I wont be back for sometime.Son i love you and i will miss you every day i will be thinking of you.You will always be in my heart and i will always be in yours.When i see you again i hope You shall become a strong young man with a passion of fire that burns in your heart.Take good care of your mother".

The father smiled and Zemtell smiled back.The father hugged his son.He got up as he turned towards the door he looked back

"Zemtell always remember To Burn like A Flame" Said the Father.
The mother took hold of Zemtell By the hand as they both watch the father dispelled into the night time as the winds and dust blew and covered his tracks.

I like the over-all concept of where this is going, but some of the character lines weren't in quotations, fix that.
Also the punctuation, there were too many periods, when in some cases a semi-colon or comma should have been placed.
keep it up cous.

I like where this is going, my friend, but a word of advice is to capitalize the letter I alone, looks pretty untidy with lower case I's.