[OLD]
http://www.fileize.com/view/8524e475-74e/

.: CHAPTER 1 :.
It all began back at 2010. This man was a cookie salesman. He would shout all day selling his marvelous cookies.
"COOKIES FOR SALE! MARVELOUS COOKIES RIGHT HERE!"
That's what he would always say. But, since he was one of the best cookie salesman ever, there is always someone who hates him and it's true!

"Goddammit, not that guy again" said one of the enemy salesman
"Yeah, he seems to sell his 'Marvelous' cookies real fast" says the partner
"You know what, why don't we make his cookies, 'Special'" says his partner winking at him
"I don't get it. . ."
His partner slaps him for being a dumbass
"Nevermind, just stay here and watch my back"
"Man, you didn't have to slap me. . ."
"Whatever baby, just watch my back"
"I'll watch your back you friggin asshole" murmured the partner

So, the enemy salesman was up to no good, he sneaked through the back of the Marvelous cookie salesman's bag and inserted a cookie that will poison the customers.

"If his customers get poisoned, no one will ever buy from this guy again, nyak nyak nyak" says the evil salesman has he chuckled and walking back to his partner to watch their plan unfold.

"Phew, this whole cookie thing is hard work. Maybe just one cookie will not hurt anyone"
He was wrong. Of course, he picked the poison one, THEY ALWAYS PICK THE ONES THAT HURT YOU, it's ridiculous.
"Ah, here you are" as he grabbed the poison cookie
After getting the poison cookie, he kneeled down and raise the cookie slowly

"What is he doing?" asked the partner
"I. I don't know"

The majestic salesman cleared his throat and said
"OH SWEET LORDS OF ABOVE, BLESS THIS MAJESTIC COOKIE SO THAT IT SHALL BE THE BEST COOKIE OF ALL!" he screamed

"What the-"
"I, I don't even, what the hell?"

"THIS SWEET NECTAR OF THE GODS, THIS SHALL BE THE ONE OF THE BEST COOKIE THAT I SHALL HAPPILY DEVOUR!"
After that, he ate the cookie in one bite. One. Bite. Unfortunately, it's poisoned. So, he started suffocating.

"Yes! My plan worked!" happily said the partner
"Hooray!"

"O-OH GODS, WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS? SPARE ME COOKIE GODS, SPARE THIS POOR COOKIE SALESMAN!"

"Oh my God"
"Holy shit"

Suddenly, the sky from above opened and heard his prayer. They removed the poison on one condition: To carry out this burden of carrying the spikey sword and carrying the power to spawn spikes out of his own will.

"We have heard your prayers cookie salesman" said the cookie Gods "And we will spare you but, you must carry this spikey sword and have the ability to spawn spikes"

"Woah, that's cool"
"No! It is not cool, it is a burden!"
"Really? Having those sounds cool. . ."
"No it doesn't! You can hurt your family with this!"
"I'm single"
"Wow, you suck. Fine, just take this spiky sword and the ability to blah blah blah, just take it"
"Sweeeeeeeeet"

And so, the cookie heavens from above opened and gave him the ability and the spiky sword
"You know what, spiky sword sounds retarted. Let's call it, Spord! Or, Swoke!"

"Omfg, we gave him powers" said the evil salesman
"This is all your fault!" says the partner has he slaps his partner

"OR! I shall call this spiky sword, SWIKE!" screamed the cookie salesman

"Oh, oh, yeah. I forgot to mention one thing" says the cookie Gods, "Your name will not be cookie salesman anymore, your new name shall be, .: :.!" proudly said the cookie Gods
"Wtf is that name? A dot and a semi-colon? That's really retarded" replied the cookie salesman
"Well, yeah, it does but whatever. Oh, and you have to fight these people called RHG's or something. . ."
"That's really, stupid. Why would I fight them?"
"I don't know dude, just fight them"
The cookie salesman sighs and says "Fine but can I at least give them one of my marvelous cookies at the end?"
"Fine, sure, do what you want. You can give them one of your marvelous cookies given you don't kill them in the process"
"Sweeeeeet. So, where is this, RHG place?"
"Oh, I'll teleport you there and I'll also turn you into a stickfigure, just so that your more basic to draw"
"Wait, wha-"
Before he can even finish his sentence, he was teleported to the RHG page and there, his adventure begins as .: :. , the marvelous cookie salesman.

.: CHAPTER 2 :.
After .: :. was teleported to the RHG page. He was all like "WOAH!" and all like "WTF" and all like "WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT WEAPON?!"
After all that, he got tired of being 'All like' to things he saw. So, for a while, he was liking the place then he saw this place called "RHG CLANS"

"Well, it has the word RHG on it, so, why the heck not"

So, he went inside the mysterious place. Once he got in, there were 4 doors. They were labeled:

North
South
West
East

"Hmmmmm, since I like to move forward, North it is!" says confidently .: :. as he went towards the North door

As he entered, he was once again astonished by the sight of groups of people or, as it's called here, RHG's.
He went over to a few groups but some of them were paying attention to him. Some even declined his cookies.

"Humph" said .: :. "What rude people, they even decline my marvelous cookies"

He was about to leave when something caught his eye, or someone. There it was, a bunch of people who were screaming that they were recruiting or something

"RECRUITING MEMBERS!" Says one
"COME NOW! WE R AWESOME!" Says another

.: :. was interested so he joined in their commotion and asked if he can join
"Hey guys, I'm .: :.!" says .: :.

One of them stepped out of the group and was walking towards .: :.

"This must be their leader" .: :. thought

"Wanna join? Make a tryout" says the mysterious leader
"A what?"
"A tryout"
"What in the world is that?"
The leader sighed and grabbed .: :. and started kicking his ass
"YO YO YO WHAT THE F***?!" screamed .: :.

After a while, the leader threw him at the ground
"That's a tryout. You beat up someone" says the leader crossing his arms

.: :. spitted some blood at the floor and slowly stood up and wiped the blood with his arm.
"Y-You f***er" says .: :. shaking with rage
"Oh? Did I hurt you?"
"Y-You. Broke one of my marvelous cookies. . ."
"Your what?"
"My. Cookies."
"Hah. That's nothing boy, move on with life. I bet they weren't marve-"

It was fast. The next thing they knew, their leader was on the ground with spikes slicing him.

"Holy s***" says one of the members
"Omfg"
"Lol, leader got pwned"

After a while, .: :. felt bad of what he did, he thought of what the members were gonna say or worse. Do to him. He just stood there, watching the leader moan in pain.

One of the members ran to .: :.
.: :. prepared for the fight of his cookie lifetime
But, instead, the member raised him up and cheered. The other members joined in.

"What just happened?" said the confused .: :.

No one answered for they were cheering too loud. This marked his spot on the so called RHG clan.

"So, am I in" asked .: :.
"Haha, yup!" replied one of the members
"So, I'm in because I killed your leader?"
"Yeah. Well, not really killed, they respawn at their RHG pages"
"Damn, but at least I'm part of the clan no-"
"Stop stop stop. Your not really part of the clan, you just have a really high chance of getting in for killing our leader like that"
"Ohhh, damn, but how come I'm not in?"
"Look" said one of the members as they slowly put him down on the ground

.: :. looked around and saw there were other people. Other people who also want in the so called clan. And they didn't look happy.

"Welp" said one while patting the back of .: :. "Good luck buddy. Your gonna need it"

.: :. just stared at the other participants and they stared back at him, with cold and deadly eyes.

"Oh sh**" .: :. thought to himself

.: CHAPTER 3 :.

After all the fuzz of the RHG clan, .: :. just decided to have fun and mess around with people while waiting for the news if he got in the clan or not. So, he went to another clan and this time, the people were really not like the people he sees most of the times. As he went inside their door, there was this little girl who was carrying an umbrella.
"Uhhhh, do you know anyone here in this clan little girl?" asked .: :.
The girl said nothing but one word
"Weanie"
"A what now"
"Weanie"
"Uhhh alright? So, does anyone live here?"
The girl just smiled and said again
"Weanie"
"Look, I don't know what you're tal-"
"Weanie"
"Alright, listen he-"
"Weanie"
"WOULD YOU SHUT UP!" screamed .: :.

The little girl began to cry and soon, the whole clan members gathered around the door comforting the little girl. .: :. thought to himself that this is ridiculous.
"Oh great, now they show up" murmured .: :.

"Hey you there!" screamed one of the members
.: :. sighed and began to turn to the member screaming, next thing he knows, a punch. Of course, in every story, the hero always blocks all attacks. Like, seriously, all attacks. It's ridiculous.

So, with .: :. sharp senses and his quick movements, he was able to block the punch.
"Jeez man, what the heck" said .: :.

The member said nothing and winded up his free arm to deliver another blow. But .: :. was a quick thinker, he knew what to do. As he was formulating his plan, he finally got the perfect plan to take this guy down! Unfortunately, he was so distracted thinking about his plan, he forgot about the other members.

As the member winded for another punch, .: :. quickly applied his cookie skills. He quickly got a cookie and forced it inside the mouth of the member. The member, was allergic to cookies. Why is he allergic to cookies? He just is. So, after a while, the member started have spasms. It wasn't pretty, it took 3 of the other members to just hold him down and the leader to inject the antidote(Or whatever it's called, I don't know, I'm just a cookie salesman)

"Weanie" says the little girl again
"What? Your the meanie" replied .: :.
"No I'm not! I'm a weanie!"
"I don't understand you at all"
"Weanie! Weanie! Weanie!" she kept screaming until the leader of the clan got up and went towards .: :.

"Oh great, now I have to deal with there leader" .: :. thought

As soon as the leader saw .: :. , his face formed more of a shocking terrified face
"Oh shit, it's .: :." he said

.: :. was confused as usual
"What?" said .: :.
"I know you. Your the guy who beated up Phoenix' leader" replied the leader
"Oh, right, well, he was getting on my nerves due to him crashing my cookie"
"Look buddy, you made our princess cry"
"I AM NOT A PRINCESS! I AM A WEANIE!" the little girl butted in
"You know what, your a princess weanie girl!" replied .: :. back with a proud tone
"NO I'M NOT!" she replied back slapping .: :.

.: :. just stood there, looking at the clan members. The leader was hiding. The little girl was always saying weanie repeatedly. One of the members was on the floor having spasms and the rest was holding him down.

"Jeez, I better get out of here before I make things worse" .: :. thought to himself

As .: :. was about to leave, the little girl stopped him and asked if he was a weanie
.: :. just sighed and patted the girls head.

"H-Hey! Wait up!" the leader screamed, having courage to get out of the corner "I have good news for ya"

This got .: :. attention
"Yeah? What is it?"
"Your in" the leader replied
"In what?"
"The clan"
"Wait, what?"
"Phoenix. Your in Phoenix. I just got the word"
"Woah, sweeeeeeeet, that's awesome! Thanks for telling me! Here, have this cookie!" .: :. said
"Woah, your really not all that bad after all. Thanks!" said the leader as he took the cookie

Secretly, .: :. was laughing inside because the cookie he gave to the leader was a death cookie. Just when .: :. was about to leave and go back to his clan, the leader called to him.

"Hey buddy, one more thing!" the leader screamed
"What?" .: :. replied
"Clan war. Now."
"Clan, War?"
"Yeah, go to your leader and ask for him for more details"
"A-Alright?" said .: :. as he walked away

"Damn, that guy gives me the creeps boss" says one of the members
"I know but at least he is nice to give me this cookie" says the leader
"Hey guys! What did I miss?" says one of the members who just woke up from the allergic reaction
The leader sighed and told the allergic member to forget about it.

After that, all of them just stared at .: :. wondering about who that guy was and what he was doing at their clan in the first place.



Then their leader took a bite of the cookie

.:CHAPTER 4 :.
"Oh God, how can I say this?" murmured .: :.
"Say what" the leader of POE asked, thought he heard something from .: :.
"Well, you see sir, I uh, I kinda"
"Say it man!"
"I got an invitation to join this guys clan"
"Continue"
"Well, you see sir, it's a rare opportunity and, well, it's really tempting"

The leader just kept quiet and nodded
"I see. . ."
"Sir, please forgive me"
"I understand, you may leave now"

From that moment, the leader turned back and walked away to announce to the other members. .: :. saw a tear drop from one of the members face, Cash.

"Oh God, why. . ." .: :. said to himself

The others were saying their farewell to .: :. stay in Phoenix.
"Good luck buddy, we're gonna miss you!" shouted one of the members
"Farewell cookie master!" another one screamed

As .: :. waved his farewell to them and baked them his last fresh of cookies, he turned his back slowly and looked one last time at Phoenix. .: :. just smiled and continued on his journey to his new clan, Altic. As .: :. walked away, a tear fell in his eyes.

"Good bye guys, I'm gonna miss you" .: :. thought to himself

Soon, .: :. reached Altic and boy! The people there or so called "RHG's" there was a hell of a tough looking group.

"Oh my. These people are way different than the past people I stayed with" .: :. thought to himself

One of the members noticed him and called him. .: :. pointed to himself as if he were saying "Me?". The member just nodded and .: :. just walked towards him. As .: :. was about to give the member a handshake(For this is his way of saying hi), the member flicked his cigarette at .: :. face.

"Welcome to Altic"