A legend in Etropia

Started by: Camila | Replies: 6 | Views: 1,085

Camila
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Oct 31, 2012 5:43 AM #774190
If you love fiction stories, you'll like this one

This's a story (long one) I made up in my head a year ago, it's divided by chapters and I finally know the enough English to share it with the community :3

I hope you like it, this's my first time writing a "book"

Excuse me if I have some grammar mistakes, if you find some mistakes in one of the chapters please let me know in a post below, also I would like to know if you liked the story, that way, I'll see if I dedicate more time for this :3

Chapter One

chapter one (Click to Show)
Solo
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Oct 31, 2012 5:53 AM #774195
Your story has a good concept. I find the Ninja race to be bit silly, but perhaps that's because it's outside of the 'norm' ans far as races go. I did find myself having a hard time continuing to read, but I liked the ending. The realization for the young girl. I do find it odd though, that she was not informed of how she would only be able to learn curative spells, as this was her lineage. Overall though, good job. I enjoyed the concept. I hope you continue with this story and develop the story a bit more. I think you could do a lot with it.
Camila
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Oct 31, 2012 6:12 AM #774204
Thanks ^^ and yeah, I have a really big story for this. I expect not less than 10 chapters
Nanite
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Oct 31, 2012 7:40 AM #774254
Nice little story here, cami, but I suggest changing the names of the races to give them more... variety.
Camila
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Oct 31, 2012 1:51 PM #774456
I was thinking about it, it so difficult to find a fitting name xD, but I'll try :3
Nanite
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Oct 31, 2012 3:26 PM #774525
Quote from _camila_
I was thinking about it, it so difficult to find a fitting name xD, but I'll try :3


I can help if you wan me to _o/
THE RISER
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Oct 31, 2012 5:59 PM #774641
this could be a great MMORPG game !