Luther (Rochedan) Wright, his story continues.

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Rochedan

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Feb 22, 2013 3:41 PM #892404
This is the story I'm working on for my RHG character. Feel free to give me some feedback.

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Second entry [22-02-2013]

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ne. There was no window, no bed, not even a bucket for his bowel movements. He remembered a white metalic wall, rusty from the prisoners sweat, a pitch black door made from some kind of extra heavy metal. This is what Luther saw, in the few seconds time he had when the scientists pushed him inside. But now, the door was closed, making the room, his prison, not only for his body, but also for his mind. The darkness made him blind. “Lucy,” he mumbled. He thought about school, his family, and about what exactly had happened before he fell into the well. He cursed everybody, Jack, Lucy, even himself. “Blind fool!” he shouted into the dark. “Pathetic, blind, moronic fool!”.
The prison was located inside the chemical facility, that was one thing Luther knew for sure when they dropped him inside this cell. He saw the logo of the facility as he got tossed in his cell. The logo his dad used to work for. It was a small black circle with a tiny but prominent purple v in the middle.
The face of Lucy appeared in the dark, floating in front of him. Lucy´s blonde hairs shined like a beacon inside his room of misery, but her smile was derisive. “I’m so sorry Luther,” she wispered. He remembered the kiss, her soft red lips, the pain he felt as he fell down the well, as he realized what had happened.
“Project Alpha,” A monotone voice, was coming from behind the black door. “Status: ready for conditioning”. Shocked to hear a voice after so many days of being imprisoned with himself. Luther stood up, surpisingly fast and flexible, and shouted: “Who is this, what do you want from me!”. Minutes passed, nothing happened. The darkness closed in on him. “I’m loosing my mind, just a few more weeks and I will go insane”. He wispered to himself. Maybe he already had gone insane, but just didn’t realize it, the voice, could have been a creation of his own weak, fragile mind.[/spoiler]

Third entry [24-02-2013]

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Strangely he never got hungry. Consequently he lost the urge to get rid of his waste. No matter how hard he tried.
The prison was so well isolated, not a single sound from the outside reached Luther´s ears. He could hear his heartbeat, his own breath. Luther started talking to himself to prevent going insane. “What is happening to me” he mumbled, “Will I ever get out of this stinking, dark, horrible prison?”, He got restless and started walking around in his cell. Luther figured out the measurements of his prison: the floor was about three square meters, when Luther first tried to reach the ceiling, he couldn’t but strangely he was able to jump much higher after the monotone voice spoke to him, he estimated the ceiling was two meters above his head.
“Focus Luther”, He whispered to himself, “Think, and use your pathetic mind!”. A strange feeling of peace came to Luther, he never felt like this before. Luther closed his eyes. The feeling that was kind of similar to the feeling when he first saw Lucy. She was sitting behind her desk, close to the window as always, staring outside while her hand was resting softly beneath her chin, fantasizing about a wonderful utopia. As Luther approached her for the first time, she smiled, and put a beautiful lock of blond hair behind her right ear. A feeling of excitement, but masked by a glimpse of fear, as a small creek running beneath his emotions flowed through him.
Luther opened his eyes, the room, once pitch black, was filled with a strange white glow. The straw on the ground, the white metallic walls, with brown areas of rust formed by his own sweat. Luther slowly turned his head. He felt as if he wasn’t awake, while also feeling an overwhelming sense of euphoria. The black door, which haunted his nightmares, which he so feared it would never open. Began to open. First Luther felt the urge to charge at it. But he maintained his peace. A silhouette appeared inside the door opening. Luther immediately felt a strange feeling of recognition towards the blurry image of the man, standing in front of him. “Project Alpha”, the man said with a monotone voice, much clearer now the black door was opened. “Status: Ready for its first test”.[/spoiler]

fourth entry (recommended for future challengers) [25-02-2013]

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ht to himself as he ran through an obstacle course.
It has been two or three month since his first test. He can still remember it as if it was only yesterday. “Luther, we are here to help you carry this burden”, Luther opened his eyes, his eyes were tired, his throat was dry. “C-c-could I please have some water?”, Luther mumbled. The woman in front of him frowned for a brief moment, then moved a lock of black hair behind her ear and smiled to him. “Why do you think you are here Luther?”. She said calmly, “do you think we are your enemies?”.
“I-I-I don’t know”, Luther replied, “After all, why did you bury me inside this metal box for more than a week?”. The woman rubbed her eyes, coughed in her hand and then leaned forward, towards Luther, with her arms crossed beneath her chest, and her elbows leaning on the rather big hard wooden table that stood between her and Luther. “Why do you think you are here Luther?”. She said calmly, but slightly irritated.
As the woman leaned forward, Luther couldn’t help but stare at her, now showing, cleavage. “I don’t know”, Luther replied, slightly hypnotized by the woman’s bosom. “Maybe, you just wanted to help me?”. The woman sat straight again, now making notes of something. Luther noticed a scar on her neck, maybe a tattoo, he didn’t know for sure, just below her ear. “What is that you have below your ear?”. The woman looked up quickly, and covered up her scar, maybe tattoo. “That’s none of your business, now tell me, “Why do you think you are here Luther?”. Her voice wasn’t calm anymore, Luther noticed she got a bit frightened. He didn’t know why.
Luther felt a strange feeling of infuriation. His hands started shaking uncontrollably. “I want to go home, let me out!”. Luther’s voice echoed inside the room, but instead of losing strength his shout became louder and louder, as if the room created some kind of resonance. “A-aah!”. The woman screamed and covered her ears, Luther saw she was terrified. “tell me”, she sniffed, “why do you think you are here Luther!”.
Completely outraged Luther stood up from his chair, the woman no longer covered her ears but now stared at Luther, not his eyes, but his forehead, and whispered, “Your mark, it’s glowing red!”.
Luther didn’t know what was going on anymore, outraged he grabbed the table with both hands and flipped it. The woman, too late to respond to his action, only managed to express one last sound of discomfort. It sounded awful, not human.
As Luther saw the flipped table, the woman, now crushed beneath its weight. He now realized what he had done. “N-n-no, I didn’t want to, I didn’t mean to”. Luther fell on his knees, and moved both his hands in front of his forehead. Some sort of red glow shined on his fingers. “W-what is happening to me?” he whispered.
A monotone voice answered his question, “You are project Alpha, designed to fight, to help, to cure and maybe even heal those who need your aid”. The voice was coming from behind a glass window, in front of Luther. Luther only saw black glass, but he knew for sure the person behind the glass could see him. It disgusted him the person wasn’t caring about the murder Luther just commit. The voice continued. “As you fell inside the well, Luther Wright died, suffocated in the purple substance we like to call Roch, as your lungs filled with Roch, and your heart stopped beating, the substance reanimated you, and partially bonded with your DNA. After months of observation you started showing signs of mutation, not only your muscles started growing, but also your skin became tougher, more flexible, giving you the ability to absorb most physical damage”.
Luther stood up, a dark red fluid started filling the small observing chamber. It looked thick, it had a strong metallic scent. Luther realized what it was, moved to a corner close to the exit of the chamber and said. “But, I can’t remember any of that, I only remember some scientist throwing me inside this horrible prison, where I was imprisoned for over a week.”
It was quiet for some minutes, the dark red fluid stopped conquering the white floor. Then the monotone voice answered, “You were in a state of rest, your brain was still adapting to its new form, developing some kind of electrical, explosive neurons, connected to your entire body, we do not know why, but it seems to be activated when you’re angry, when your mark glows red”.
Luther again moved his hand in front of his forehead, the glow wasn’t there anymore. Luther replied, “This, mark you are talking about. What is it, why did you put it on my forehead?”.
The person behind the glass maintained quiet again, but responded with the same monotone voice, “You have to understand we had no choice, the Roch was still manipulating your body, if we hadn’t put this mark on your head, which looks similar to the sign you saw in front of your cell, the Roch would have given you horrible mutations. For as far as we know, your mark glows white when you are in a state of peace, as you experienced inside your cell. And as we just learned, your mark glows red when you become infuriated”. Luther moved his fingertips along his forehead, he felt some sort of scar, soon he realized it was the circle with a small v inside of it. He realized he wasn’t human anymore, his DNA was changed. A tear moved across Luther’s face, and dropped on the ground “Will I ever see my mother again?”.
The monotone voice responded immediately, as if it was expecting this question. “No, you are now property of the RHG corporation, and you will oblige our demands. For starters you will start training, we want to see you develop and study your new body. You’ll get martial arts training, and many more. You will work for us, and maybe, when you’ve showed to be of value, we will let you meet your mother, but until then, Luther, are you willing to work for us?”.
Luther didn´t think, he knew what he wanted, he wanted to see his mother. But on the other hand he knew what kind of monster he had become. “Yes”, Luther responded, “yes, I will work for your corporation”.
As Luther ended his daily training he returned to his cell. He was dead tired. Tomorrow they said he had his first work assignment. Luther closed his eyes and fell asleep in a blink of an eye. Dreaming about his previous life.[/spoiler]

Fifth entry 12-03-2013

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ur demands, work for us, we will let you meet your mother”. Luther gasped for air, opened his eyes and sat up straight. “Still having nightmares?”, a woman’s voice asked. Luther wiped the sweat of his forehead with the back of his hand. “Yes, the same one
Rochedan

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Feb 24, 2013 6:54 PM #895557
Any opinions on my story?
What could I improve?
kingkickass2013

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Feb 24, 2013 6:57 PM #895558
The enter button seems like something needed.
Rochedan

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Feb 24, 2013 7:23 PM #895584
Quote from kingkickass2013
The enter button seems like something needed.


Please explain yourself. What do you think of the story itself, can you follow my sentences easily?
kingkickass2013

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Feb 24, 2013 7:24 PM #895585
Your story, it seems a bit too bunched together.

Also its spelled alpha tender.
Rochedan

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Jul 22, 2013 6:35 PM #1043108
Could somebody tell me why I can't add more entries? It tells me I've gone over some kind of limit...
I really want to continue this but the thread doesn't allow me.

Anybody knows a solution?
acutelatios
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Jul 22, 2013 8:55 PM #1043204
You can edit your second post and add the next entries there if you want or post the next entires here as a new post; there really isn't anything you can do once you've gone over the limit~

o w o
Hewitt

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Jul 23, 2013 3:24 AM #1043384
You can post other entries in succeeding posts but link the posts themselves in your first post. Use that tiny number in the upper right of each post.
Rochedan

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Jul 23, 2013 11:33 AM #1043633
Quote from Mecha-Hewitt
You can post other entries in succeeding posts but link the posts themselves in your first post. Use that tiny number in the upper right of each post.


Would you mind elaborating on that? I think I understand what you mean, but I wouldn't know how.
ErrorBlender
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Jul 23, 2013 11:40 AM #1043638
If I may, here is what Mecha-Hewitt means.

By clicking the number on the top of your post in the upper right, a link will appear on your address bar. You copy it and...

http://forums.stickpage.com/showthread.php?52122-Luther-(Rochedan)-Wright-his-story-continues&p=1043633&viewfull=1#post1043633

...that is it, the link that will direct the viewer directly to your post. Then you may wrap it up in tags to make it look cleaner.