I tried again with anime and this is the result:


Took me 4 hours
CnC is appreciated :3

I'm surprised no one has CnC'd this yet. And wow, this took 4 hours? Anyway, things to work on:
1. Better proportions and positioning. To make it look better proportion wise, work on either making skinnier heads or poofier hair, with the size of her head her ear should be showing and/or her hair should be a bit taller and wider. Her shoulder on the left doesn't look right either, you might be able to fix that by angling the sleeve the other direction or widening her shoulders just a little. For positioning, her nose is in an ok area, but it doesn't seem large or defined enough. I realize its probably a style thing, but her mouth to the side looks really awkward to me as well. Next, that eye shape. The way you drew her eyes is pretty interesting, but unless she has really long eyelashes that hang down on the sides the combination of the vertical oval eye shape and the wider eyelashes just doesn't look right. The white of her eye should extend all the way to both sides of her eye lids.

2. Lineart. Wow. This would seriously look 100% better if you had gone over the sketched lineart with smoother, more finalized lineart. When doing that, make sure to make single, long strokes from point A to point B (for example, the top of her brow to the bottom of her chin, or where the hair breaks away from rest of the hair all the way to the point of that strand of hair). Varying the line quality looks great too, you should try adding that if you have a tablet with pressure sensitivity.

Those are the main things you should really work on, I can point out a few other things (i.e. almost no shading plus really lazy bg) but you should focus on the basics first. Keep practicing, there's some potential here!