Wait, are you drunk?!

EDIT: Didn't CnC anything

Rochedan - Really need to work on spacing. The text was right next to each other, and was hard to distinguish who was talking at times. You also need to revise for some smaller errors that can take away interest. And remember, keep a good plot, stick with it, and give it "life" (or detail)

Bladed Fire - Spacing was better than Rochedan's, but your story didn't seem to have a very good plot. Too much action with little description, and it seemed to jump around way too much. Like an ADHD squirrel on coffee. Haha

But both stories were decent, but could obviously use work.

Quote from ChamelNeon

Wait, are you drunk?!

EDIT: Didn't CnC anything

Rochedan - Really need to work on spacing. The text was right next to each other, and was hard to distinguish who was talking at times. You also need to revise for some smaller errors that can take away interest. And remember, keep a good plot, stick with it, and give it "life" (or detail)

Bladed Fire - Spacing was better than Rochedan's, but your story didn't seem to have a very good plot. Too much action with little description, and it seemed to jump around way too much. Like an ADHD squirrel on coffee. Haha

But both stories were decent, but could obviously use work.

Thanks, you're the first to actually give us some advice, I really appreciate it.
Maybe I should work on spacing a bit more, but to be honest I like this style myself (the same as you read in books)

PS: Yes I was pretty drunk and bored. (wrote that with my smartphone)

Quote from Rochedan

Thanks, you're the first to actually give us some advice, I really appreciate it.
Maybe I should work on spacing a bit more, but to be honest I like this style myself (the same as you read in books)

PS: Yes I was pretty drunk and bored. (wrote that with my smartphone)

Hardcore. I can't do that with my phone lol.

Well props for being able to do so, haha