I'm not liking where this is heading, 2 to nothing so far, nope not liking it one bit.

Seems like you got a vote, despite it's from a new guy (only 5 post ;)), you might win after all.

Well I took a look at your story and mine, your story contains 3,047 words, my story contains 4,341 words. I have 1,000 more words.

I have a larger story but your seems more interesting, I still imagine the imagination land from south park when I read it, even though you specifically said that's not the case.

Quote from kingkickass2013

Well I took a look at your story and mine, your story contains 3,047 words, my story contains 4,341 words. I have 1,000 more words.

The length of the story usually doesn't matter. The only reason we put word limits in battles and writing competitions is to make sure the writer spent time on their work.

@King - Luzoto's exactly right. It doesn't matter a lot about the word count. As long as you get your point across and entertain the reader (with of course reaching the minimum) word count) you can write as much as your little hands can.

I already knew that, it was just one of those little fun facts about our stories, nothing more.

WHERE IS EVERYBODY IT'S LIKE A BARREN WASTELAND!

this poll only has 3 votes, are we not as important as the others? :(

Quote from kingkickass2013

this poll only has 3 votes, are we not as important as the others? :(

It is viewed as much as the other battle, people are just not up to voting I guess.

Somehow I'm not active in here now XD Try to be active now

Well, king I'm sorry, but my vote goes to Rochedan, his was cleaner.

Youre, well, I could say it was sardin packed.

I lost completely with only a single vote to my name, where did I go wrong in my story and where did Luther go right in his story.

So where did I go wrong? If Rochedans story has that many problems then I can't wait to see how many problems my story has.


Post below (reply by editing your post): OK I shall await till CnC comes to assist me in writing.

As it stands, your reporting has added no emotional weight towards any character. I didn't feel anything for the nurse and could've cared less that she died. I didn't give a shit about how much of an oppressor the Operator was. I don't particularly feel anything for Zeus or the fact that his men died and his fate unknown. All this is because nothing is going on on an emotional level. I have no attachment for the characters and it feels like you're just going through the motions.

Luther's personality is very closed and he doesn't feel much emotion. So in this part I did my job well :) But in the future I will describe and explain why he doesn't.

I seriously hope I did at least some good (P.S Zeus's armory mostly and mainly contains enchanted swords, only royal guards and specialized soldiers who weren't trained regularly get to hold axes and maces and war hammers. However the opposing kingdoms back at Atauromin (in which was destroyed by the great beast) used whatever weaponry they could get their hands on. They used axes, maces, hammers, swords, crossbows, some of the opposing kingdoms even learned the secret to bomb making)

Thanks for the CnC, I´m sure to use your advice in my next battles/writings.