lol I know that many of you right now are despising me for this but, frankly, I hate to pay for things online
that said, anyone knows a way to play online with minecraft without spending money?

I'll give you a legal way. There's this browser version of minecraft on the official website. It's very much like the actual one, but is missing A LOT of the features and other stuff in the actual minecraft.
Reasons I'm giving you a legal way although I also hate paying for stuff:
It's not allowed to pirate here
I have never found a single good torrent of minecraft that actually works online.

You can't ask for a free way to get a game/program in these forums.