To start this off, try not to use the same word within two consecutive sentences like what you did here.
He landed with both feet on the monsters chest, the force threatening to pull him out of his place. Luckily, Stitches' strength held him in place electricity jumping across his body and into the ground.
It sounds weird and odd, at least to my eyes. Try to use a different word for the same word or form different sentence that means the same thing. Like so: "
Luckily Stitches' strength helped him hold his ground from the impact, electricity dancing on the surface of his skin as it travelled to the floor". I had to reword the whole sentence since ground was already used, but see? Sounds much better, yes?
Another thing is, well I'm not really sure how to describe it but it seems that for a couple of places in the story you seem to place sentence that describes the action before as if we didn't know what was happening or what it meant. For example:
Quickly thinking of a plan, Stitches dug his feet into the ground as far as he could, bringing his hands out. Stitches was now lodged into the ground by his feet, making his hands useful for combat.
It kind of feels like your treating your reader like they have no idea what he's done. Feels like I'm oblivious at what's happened and it kind of ruins the flow a little, but that's just me. You can reword the two sentences together to make it sound smoother. For example: "
Quickly thinking of a plan, Stitches dug his feet deep into the ground, lodging it into the earth and swapping positions with his hands as he raised them ready for battle." or something like that.
But beside these and a couple of other things, you've written your story well. It had a very nice storyline, which I love~,and I could see the actions quite well in my head with the exceptions from some parts since it just didn't makes sense to me, but nothing that a read over couldn't fix! Great job on the story deary~!
