Name Axel


- Abilities:
-Special Sword that can change colour.
If white (light)- Gives him strong powerful attacks that nearly are unstoppable.
If Black (dark)- when hitting an enemy shoots bursts of the power of fire and lightning.
-Speed and acrobatics

- Weaknesses:
-Can't take attacks of the opposite colour of his sword.
-Hates water and is afraid of scaly creatures

- About/Story:
Axel was the son of a special swordsman which is 'the master of dark and light'. His father was in a battle with a masssive dragon when he got killed from blood loss and drowning. He watched his fathers death from his home by the beach and from that day on he got afraid of water and scaly things. He really had trouble when he got older of things to be so he took his fathers sword and became the next 'Master of dark and light'. He was getting stronger over time until he found out about being a RHG. It was good for him because he could finally show his power and training and finnaly bring justice back into his family after his loss of his father. He will battle to conquer.

- Personality:
Say anythihing bad about him or his family he will kill you. He won't even care whoever it was who said it even if it was a mistake. He forgives nobody has no heart and will never look happy even though he can be happy sometimes. He is sometimes sad too but that is only when he thinks about his father.

- Appearance:
He is a stickman but wears special clothes. He has a half black half white shirt which looks weird on him because he is blue. He also wears big blue pants that even though they look hard they are very easy to move around in. His arms are a tiny bit muscly and if he takes off his clothes you can see that he is a bit lanky too.

- Demo:
Axel sprinted through the beach keeping away from a massive wave of water sent right to him. He couldn't run for much longer so he legged it right over to the city arena. There stood before him was a red man, he was normal size with fire hands and didn't look very kind at all. Axel didn't observe him, he just ran straight for him as his trusted blade turned white. He slashed the man's leg which looked like he did nothing as there was nothing, no cut, no blood stain, no wound nothing. He looked up at the man pulling an angry face when the man looked at him grinning. "Is that it you puny fighter? That was terrible miles worse than your father even though he was bad." Axel ran up to him looking extremely angry shouting "SHUT UP!!" Axel sent out four hits on his body then attacking his back. He then thought "What if his weakness isn't brute strength? That is it! It is his own power!" Axel looked at him confidently blade turning black when he suddenly smashed the person with loads of fire and lightning causing a massive wound right on his head. The person looked annoyed and said " You worked this out. TAKE THIS!!" The person fired a massive wall of fire scorching the walls of the arena which hit Axel. Axel stood there like he did nothing and then ran through to hit him with more fire. His attack hit his neck which caused his head to flinging off his body killing the person. Well that is what he thought as the person got up screwed his head back on disgustingly. Axel ran forward with his black sword in his hand and went "If that won't kill you this will!!!" Axel jumped up in the air did a flip and stabbed his sword right through the guys head then he pulled it down until it reached his heart and then jammed his sword in harder. The person fell on his knees and then hit the ground. Axel walked off to find a place he could stay for the night leaving the persons body on the bloody battleground.

- Battles: none yet

- Points: 0/0

Few tangs:
-He needs more weaknesses. Say my warrior (Chance/Blood manipulation) were to attack him the RED of the blood couldn't do him any harm. Expand on the weaknesses.
-Expand on abilities too. It doesn't seem to make a lit of sense really. One side is nearly unstoppable, the other shoots fire and lightning? It seems to random.
-Try to make him more than a stickman in clothes. Like hair color, skin tone, eye color, etc.

Oh and the spoilers go like this: [spoiler=Title] stuff that goes into the spoiler [./spoiler]

*take out the "." In the last part.

If you fix those things Chamel mentioned, I would like to challenge you-- unless you find it unfair because my wRHG is a lizard-- and yours is scared of scaly things.

If anything, fear can be used as a motivation. His character might get motivated at killing you so that he has nothing to be afraid of anymore.

I dunno what it is with all the swords. :I
Anyways, your wRHG is a mighty fine one (as is everyone else's)
Just a few things:

Undeveloped character.
From reading your personality, all I've gotten is that Axel is a depressed boy who goes into rage mode if you diss his family. You're going to give your opponent a difficult time if he/she doesn't know how Axel responds to certain stimuli. Develop your character; make him more than the cliched 'if-you-insult-my-family-you-die' guy. I'm sure Axel isn't that shallow. ;D

Also, your demo is TOO hectic. While I appreciate the action genre - which seems to be your speciality ;D - there is a fine line between what is an enjoyable, adrenaline-pumping read, and incomprehensible text where too much information is thrown at the reader. SLOW DOWN, establish your setting, the time, your characters. It all just seems a bit rushed.

Is it just me or there are grammar mistakes in the demo? And like above, there's only action. I recommend adding settings and situations...Those kinds.

I got some time.

You need spacing; its what makes people read without getting annoyed. A good story is a good spaced one.
It's good to have a action-based story, but try to add a plot in it. It makes your story better.
You might wanna elaborate on the appearance. Instead of a stickman, many of us is actually full-body. You know...