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A Dark Night

Started by: Xate | Replies: 2 | Views: 526

Xate
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Jun 5, 2013 3:36 PM #997289
A Dark Night
Story (Click to Show)

Requested to add more content by ErrorBlender, I present to you an idea thought in 5-10 mins. CnC is GREATLY appreciated.
acutelatios
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Jun 6, 2013 8:39 PM #998710
A fine read Gamer~not much to say about this really :3
The storyline was strung together wonderfully and the story is tragic. There aren't much grammar errors and the flow of the story was smooth and well-spaced~

Just something I need to nitpick about, with the last paragraph, you don't have to put asterisks (*) to show it is a sound. You can just leave it as it is or make it italic to emphasize it's a sound. Placing asterisks in the story just ruins the whole theme. It just looks weird to be honest~

But besides that, it is an wonderful (depressing) read~
It's always a pleasure to read your work
o w o
Xate
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Jun 7, 2013 2:51 AM #998965
Thank you for your CnC, acutelatios. I have no idea how to express the sound, so asterisks is my only option.
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