(Alright can we do something along the lines of playing as a cop to the murderer above?)

I am wearing in this story: A black hoodie, baggy blue jeans, sneakers however the bottom has been worn out due to years of running on a black top track, and blue glasses I use to see.

The perfect crime: a cold winter day this man, he got me fired after drinking too much of the works coffee. So what he did was he took the bosses salad and ate it all and blamed it on me, I was immediately fired from my job. I lost my home and all of my food. The only thing I hunger for now is vengeance, and it will be mine.

The man was at home enjoying his stay, what a prick. I grab a knife from what used to be my home (now the residence of the homer family, they didn't see or hear me sneak in from the kitchen window and steal the knife), I walk over to a nearby construction house and buy a step ladder and some white paint (you'll see why later). I know the only way inside his house is to sneak in through the back window, because he always keeps his doors locked. Luckily for me there are trees surrounding the back yard, so those driving in the street cannot see me sneak into the house. But just in case I put up my hood to keep my face concealed.

I can see the man, he apparently lives all by himself. He has many friends so I may wanna search around the kitchen for supplies, I find a box of matches and a flashlight. I peek out the side of the kitchen's corner, he is reading a news paper so he can't see me but wait... Who's that coming down stairs, DAMN IT I can't kill this man with an innocent here as well, let along an innocent woman. I am not a murderer by heart. I must find a way to get her out of this house, I quickly move into the basement, nobody noticed me thanks to those non squeaky stairs and the fact that the man is too busy eye balling his friend.

His basement is a dump, this man should be on hoarders. Oh well lets take a look around, he has a massive water heater; Well NOT ANYMORE. I quickly stab the water heater and the water sprays out, this outta provide a distraction. I quickly flee to a hole in the wall which, although filled with spiders and rats led me to the attic, all it took was a bit of climbing.

I'm guessing the man heard the metal being punctured and went downstairs because when I finally reached the attic I heard the man yell "WHAT THE FUCK!" that was loud enough for those even in the attic can hear, I am surrounded by gasoline tanks and..... Guns? This man must collect guns, or in this case illegal guns, I'm pretty sure it's illegal to own an AK47 and a M14. Oh well what I am truly wondering is why he has a shit ton of gasoline in the attic. It appears he also has a large amount of broken metal pieces. This much gasoline may be of use, I grabbed a couple cans of gasoline while the man is still trying to stop the flow of water in the basement. Hopefully he hasn't figured out how to fix it yet.

I went over and poured the gasoline under his bed. I also took some clothes just so I have something change into once and if blood gets on me but back to the matter of the gasoline, and created a trail of it leading directly to a hallway bathroom, I grabbed a little more gasoline tanks and just started tossing them under the bed. Then I grabbed just two more cans and poured them along the hallway, I lit the match and dropped it in the hallway. Soon a massive explosion will happen but first I must injure a certain someone, the friend has already left due to the water flow. He is perfect for a killing, I went into the basement with haste.

He stared at me with an angered look on his face, I slit his throat with the knife and dragged his dead body upstairs, from there the explosion had already happened and a fire was blazing rapidly, I threw the body of the deceased in the fire and watched it burn, to cover my tracks I poured small amounts of white paint on the carpet spots where the blood was. To make it harder to see. Just to be safe I took off my bloody clothes and threw them in the fire, right nearby the dresser so the officers think it was his clothes that were burned. I changed into the man's clothes (the one's I stole, not the ones he was wearing) along with washing my face and hands of the blood. I ran out the front door, I looked behind me and saw the fire blazing but I also noticed that somebody had called the firemen and police, I must act.

"OFFICER! FIREMEN! ANYBODY MY FRIEND IS BURNING IN THERE!" I shouted to the officers and firemen, they replied "Calm down citizen we will get your friend out of there." I quickly raised my voice even higher and told him "HURRY UP, LAST I SAW HIM THEIR WAS A BLAZE SURROUNDING HIM!" I said while faking tears. I ran away from the spot without looking back, the knife was tucked away in my hoodie. Outta sight outta mind.

*Any flaws here in this murder?*

Simple:

Watch a crime show (maybe like CSI Miami) and do everything the perps DON'T do! Like actually wear gloves, make the killing silent, leave no evidence.

Quote from kingkickass2013

"OFFICER! FIREMEN! ANYBODY MY FRIEND IS BURNING IN THERE!" I shouted to the officers and firemen, they replied "Calm down citizen we will get your friend out of there." I quickly raised my voice even higher and told him "HURRY UP, LAST I SAW HIM THEIR WAS A BLAZE SURROUNDING HIM!" I said while faking tears. I ran away from the spot without looking back, the knife was tucked away in my hoodie. Outta sight outta mind.

Yeah, and then they'd say "We never got a call from inside the house. Who are you again?" and give chase to your stupid ass if you attempt to run, find the knife in your hoodie (which btw why didnt you just wipe and throw in the fire) and bust your stupid pretentious ass for committing the "perfect" crime.

Your flaws aren't really flaws just...stupid things.

- Puncturing a water heater does not make it leak water. It just makes the water cold.

- You can't puncture a water heater with a knife. Otherwise, you wouldn't buy one.

- There was an explosion but somehow the extra gas tanks and guns in the attic explode and shoot bullets all over the house, effectively killing everyone within a 360 degree radius. What.

Ah, Mecha Hewitt strikes. I could of sworn water heaters are filled with both water and pressure, if you puncture one it starts spraying violently due to the pressure built up inside of it. The water inside the machine is heated up and then lays dormant under pressure until needed, when you turn on a shower upstairs or something the pressure forces the water to rise up through the pipes to the shower, BUT of course this is based off of what I believe on how the water system in a house works. (be quiet, I never worked with plumbing problems before)

So, would you hire me as a plumber? I have a partner named Luigi.


Please wait while I come up with another murder story... (Please stand by)

kingkickass, I suggest you don't become a murderer anytime soon. It's like basic shit you know to like, not keep the murder weapon on your person especially since it's very easy to get yourself searched. It's also not prudent to make your presence evident at the scene of the crime; it immediately makes you a suspect since even a burned body gives away important clues to any forensic investigators, and your alibi could easily be eliminated. Your scenario isn't really realistic, anyway

This thread could actually be very fun and intelligent if it were done better you know. I'd like to reeeeemake it

i will get some thing to cover mine finger, and wait for a raining day and wearing raincoats, wait for target, cover the face, try to waiting until night so people become hard to see, make sure to stand in the place nobody can't see you, find target, come talk to him act at an friend get him vodka drink drink and he become drunk, get him until the dark pull the knife out and take the raincoats with the blood have but make sure that raincoats have been buy for a long time and have to be cheap, the kind that people user buy so they will have no idea of who is the one killing

Quote from dark falcon

Nah you get it all wrong ! First of all let's say your father have a gun and a silencer (which's a long shot !) So When you shot him it might be some witness eye, beside you throw the weapon full with your fingers prints ! And If your father bought it then it will be registred so it's easy to know to who it belongs ! And Isn't your father will notice the missing gun ? It's a missing gun ! Not a missing Gum, So yea this is an epic fail assasination

I knew I did something wrong. xD

Okay then lol, here it goes

Target: Fisherman
Reason of Killing: Stole my fish D:
My Profile: Man


Getting items:Wear some black gloves and a freaking ninja suit that was a present from a ninja MASTER. Buy a bunch of female and male piranhas. Get a sniper rifle with a silencer

Killing Time 3:00 AM:This fisherman is found, being the first and only one out there. Put the piranhas in the water. Immediately hide in the bushed and aim your rifle. FIRE. Great, hes dead, and hes fallen of his raft. Now all you have to do is let the piranhas do the work. After, dispose of the sniper rifle, gloves and the ninja suit. Call the police of a carcass and thats the end of it.

Can't we just pay for an assassin?
Pretty sure they do their job cleanly and nicely.

It's a perfect crime after all.

this is what to do:

You'll need a partner in crime.
Destroy any mobile device that has any personal items in it and that is connected to a GPS system of any kind. Then, one of you puts on white gloves and sneeks into the victims window. Kidnap him. If he wakes up, knock him out with an object in his room. Clean up any trace you've left. Write a letter that says, "I went out to a friends house, be back later" so that a person looking for the victim isn't worried.The next morning, they should see the letter.

The next morning, one of you guys get a tattoo and plastic surgery, and cut your hair while the other takes care of the victim. Later, you guys switch out and the other one does the same thing.

After everything, kill him with pills. That way, there is no blood. Put the body in a garbage bag with alot more garbage in with it. Take the bag out and put it in a trash box. Put other bags of garbage in it too, to make it non-suspicious.

So its getting late and the victims mother calls the cops. Drive far away with your partner. Drive to a different state. Rent an apartment. CONSTANTLY WATCH THE NEWS. Get updates on what the cops are looking for.
2 days later, drive to an airport, and one of you move to California while the other moves to Canada. Change your names.

Now you got away with it!

Quote from CaM

This thread could actually be very fun and intelligent if it were done better you know. I'd like to reeeeemake it

Thats what I said. Its a genius idea executed poorly.

Quote from Triss

Can't we just pay for an assassin?
Pretty sure they do their job cleanly and nicely.

It's a perfect crime after all.

Well first off, assassins are probably very expensive and, more importantly, hard to find. Second of all, this logic only works if the assassin manges to do a guaranteed perfect crime. If he's caught, there's a good chance you will be instantly fucked.

Say I'm a cop.

I get a bunch of my cop buddies and we go shoot the guy and all his shit. We come up with a story. We acted in self defense. The forty two shots fired were necessary to neutralize the one man acting aggressively, walking down the street, minding his business.

Some magic police immunity bullshit happens. We all go free. Best plan you guys have probably seen. Of course this is hypothetical, because I'm not a cop.

Quote from Almond

Say I'm a cop.

I get a bunch of my cop buddies and we go shoot the guy and all his shit. We come up with a story. We acted in self defense. The forty two shots fired were necessary to neutralize the one man acting aggressively, walking down the street, minding his business.

Some magic police immunity bullshit happens. We all go free. Best plan you guys have probably seen. Of course this is hypothetical, because I'm not a cop.

42 fired shots means there's probably going to be a witness. Not to mention how the court perceives your case depending on how well you know this character (ex. Do you have a motive), which you don't cover at the slightest. Finally, the magic police immunity bullshit only happens when the case is small enough to be skillfully hidden by the media/other methods. If its a huge deal (say, like forty-two fucking shots) the police aren't going to do shit trying to cover your ass because they will be more likely to catch bad rep this way. Definitely not the best plan I've seen.

Gain somebodies trust, go for a dangerous mountain climb. Tell him you want a picture of him while he's standing near the edge "faking" to fall down. Push him.
Act as if you are sad about his death. Mission completed.

Worst crime ever^^