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Arvine vs Cyber virus (The correct one, don't I feel like an idiot)

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kingkickass2013

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Jul 28, 2013 1:50 AM #1049389
http://forums.stickpage.com/showthread.php?51261-wRHG-Arvine-quot-The-Dragunov-quot-Mage

[spoiler= Arvine's story]Chasing People Apart

“Not bad, kid.”
A slight whisper entered the mind of a young boy, sitting in the bar of Little Duckling. The voice of the warrior Hercan echoed through his mind. His bloody, red cloak was torn up by the foot of Tenor’s soldier. And that ended his no-killing spree. “How I hate that time when I raged”, thought the boy, wandering in his fragmental memoirs of his father’s friend.

Now he is currently sitting with comfort, smiling, waiting for his order. Then a hard stuff was placed in front of him. It was a vodka with raspberry juice, hinted with gin and some small ice. Although it looks like a normal syrup with soda, it can teach someone who isn’t prepared yet. Once he saw a drunk person who snatches away the drink from him. And drink it.

The result are not good. With a capital O.
First, the man stumbled, and dropped dead. Then he is having continuous seizure. He rises up with one leg, like a zombie from the dead. Then he is having another seizure again. Then another. And with a coup de grace, he vomits out of blood to the ground, dropping dead.

Only for people to realize that it isn’t blood. It’s the red drink that he drank.

Now coming back to the bar room, Arvine sips slowly the drink. “I’m not stupid enough to drink it in one gulp”, reminiscing the tragic drunkard moment. But before he drank the last spurt, a strong slap was stricken with a sickening sound. Now if it isn’t a firework, it must be a blow from the bastard that he knows.

Turning his head 90 degree, his friend Ruben, another of his father’s acquaintance, waiting for his lil’ chap to response. He was smiling and grinning, as a person who looked like a war-ragged old guy that actually can kick your ass doubly over and drinking soda while on it.

“Hey, I found the place kiddo. It’s the Laboratory of Daven, a famous scientist in the town. Now currently he is having 3 new assistants, and I suspect one of them to hide a crucial clue to find a Forsaken’s Division Leader outpost.”

Handing over a receipt, he quickly clasped his greatsword, swinging it around in the air. It whistles while it cut through the air elegantly, and creating a gust of wind that engulf the bar.

The boy rose, and stare at Ruben, who was holding his greatsword, “Soul Sister”. He grabs the receipt, and smiled , and open his mouth. “Ruben, thanks for the offer... But I don’t want to fight you. You know that your attacks is powerful, and so do mine. I don’t want to hurt you...” He puts back his staff on his back.

Then he turned around, packing his small bag, and moved to the door. Ruben cliched at that comment. “Damn kid. This is why I only trust in Seartan as a leader. If he is here, he would have a spar with me.” He quickly stop swinging his blade, and put it again on his favourite place, just right in the back.

But then, he remembers something. Something important.

“Hey kid, wait! Stop!” The movement stop. Already pissed by his slap, Arvine turn his body around, watching as Ruben runs his way, bringing a small box.

“I have a gift for you.”

Opening the box, there is.......a rabbit. A small, soft, squishy white rabbit with red eyes, sniffing the outline of the box. And the small rabbit jumped, to the palm of the boy’s hand. It was staring, and staring, through the eye of Arvine.

“Ruben, this is one, cool rabbit, where did you get it?”

Catching his breath, he take on deep sip of the air, and said nothing. He just smiled, and say “Please take care of that thing for me. You see, my friend give me this. But I don’t like animals.”

“Sooooo.....you’re throwing this small, and adorable thing on me?”

“No no no no Arvine, it’s not like that. Just keep it will ya? I have to go to my home.”

Knowing that staying here will raise suspicion of the boy going to scold him for throwing the bunny, Ruben flee the scene, knowing that he wouldn’t have that burden on his back anymore. Meanwhile, Arvine looked at the man who runs away from him, and shook his head. “Why can’t he just keep nice things? This pet is cool.”

Now, the boy, accompanied with the rabbit who is hopping on the ground, walking through the forest, to the laboratory of a man called Daven.....

Deus Problem, Meeting Science

“My, what a cute little bunny. Hop 1! Hop 2! Hop 3!”

Now Arvine currently is in the lab of Daven, taking measures of the place. He looks around of the place. Standard alchemy set? Checked. Strange machines? Checked. Smell of chemicals? Checked. Now what’s left is the 3 assistant that is suspected. Meanwhile, Daven is currently playing with his bunny, giggling on the process.

“Whoa, looked at him! Look at how his nose sniffing at me! Awww......Can I dissect him?”

Arvine sighed. It’s annoying how Daven played with his rab- wait, what did he just say dissect?

Turning around with a horrified look, Daven was rising a scalpel high, and with a flash, he strike down to the unfortunate critter.

“NOOOOOOO!!!!” Arvine screamed, at the most upmost horror that he have ever seen!

He quickly run to Daven, getting ready to see the agony that Daven made. Oh the horror! The humanity! What is this torture! Closing his eyes with his hand Wait, is that chopped carrots that actually being sliced? And that rabbit.....is enjoying eating them?

“You should look at that face of yours. Bwahahaha!”, laughed Daven outloud, as he hold the shoulder of Arvine. Now the boy’s face was pouting nonsensically. He was fooled to his wits! “How could that man fool me! I hate ‘im! Ughhhh.....”, thought Arvine in his mind, his mouth is still pouting.

All of a sudden, the electricity is pumped on and off. A large, supremely exposed laugh was heard in the 2nd floor. The machines was cranking up some noise. A noise was heard from the gramophone. And not just that, the glass equipment starts to flying through the sky. Daven, a person in which is 25 years old, still interested and knowing intact of seeing phenomenon like this, quickly conclude it with one word. “Ghost.”

The Name is Cyber. Cyber Virus.

Now the music in the gramaphone is increasing it’s tense. A crackling sound was heard from it. It consists of words. “Cyyyy-berr. Virrr-us” As the crackling sound goes dimmer, the movement is getting heavier, the chairs, tables, and stuffs are getting flown to Arvine and Daven. Luckily, they managed to hide under a table with a cloak, knowing that they must hide.

“G-g-g-g-ghost! I hate ghost! They scare me in the nights!” Holding his hands and knees together, Arvine is rambling of words in this state, consisting of scary, scary, scary, and random creeps. Daven peeks outside, looking at the movement of things apart. It stops. And it would be likely that the ghost is looking at them. Yet suddenly, a small pair of ears came out of the rabble. It’s the rabbit that the boy owns. Then, much to Daven’s horror, the bunny actually moves toward them.

“No you stupid rabbit! Don’t come closer! The ghost will notice!” But as most people know, rabbits doesn’t talk with human language. As soon as the rabbit enter the cloak beneath the table......chaos ensues.

The table flipped, and the cloak was flying to the sky. It quickly blinded Daven and Arvine. “I can’t see! I can’t see! What is happening!” Before the boy panics even more, Daven quickly throw away the cloak, and grabbed Arvine’s hand.

“Quick! We’ going to the upper level!”, said Daven. Looking at the front door, it was blocked by tables alike. Before Arvine tries to destroy it, Daven just pulled out the cloak of the boy, and rushes to the stairs.

Then, a faint looking shadow figure was walking slowly, and to the stairs. He was whispering something, and finally, he stopped, and defiantly said:

“My name is Cyber Virus.”

Getting More Upward

“Why the hell can’t we just destroy the door?”, shouted Arvine. Currently, they’re catching their breath. Then, Daven laughed maniacally, and then, stop with a grin. “You see, I have an equipment of forgotten Ghost Busters technology. That ghost will die before he can say ba-bye!” Upon hearing this, the boy calmed down, knowing that this guy could beat the ghost.

“So, what’s the deal?”

“The deal is...to go to the 3rd floor and get that stuff. Let’s go!”

Running to the other stairs, Arvine noticed a several stack of papers, sitting on a desk. And not just that, there is a sign “assistant memo” on it! Maybe he can grab it and know where is the outpost are. But before he reaches the paper, Daven quickly pulls him to the stairs. “We don’t have much time, we need to go!” As he said that, a faint figure was standing on the stairs of 1st floor. It was glaring at them.

Upon reaching the 3rd floor, a large stack of cardboards, and dusty equipments are in front of them. But none of these equipments actually looks like a gun. Turnin’ his head around and round, Arvine was confused where is the equipment placed.

“Where is the gun, Daven?”, whispered the boy.

“It’s right.....here!” Upon saying the verse, Daven grabs out a big-chunky badass looking shotgun, which have 3-barreled fire system. With laser scopes. And silver metallic texture which makes Desert Eagle looks like a toy. Also colored numbers, each of them gleaming in the dim light of the laboratory.

“Oh my god.”, said Arvine speechless. “What does this called?”

“This.”, said Daven, “is called the AXM-Model -1 A.K.A the Soul Blaster. Unlike a normal gun, this weaponic system are used to destroying soul of a person, but not injuring the body on the process. We usually use this in death sentence.” Heaving it out, he makes a “ka-click” sound, and aim for the door.

“You see this thing? They won’t be back.”

Electron Magnet

Walking down to the 2nd floor, Daven was holding the gun, looking left and right of the place. Arvine was hiding behind him. They took a step, and nothing happens. They took another one, and nothing happens. Then, on the third step, a man was coming out from the shadows. A surge of electricity was covering him, giving him illustrations of a man bathing in a divine light.

“Your time’s up! Whatever you are!”, said Daven. “Now leave and never return!”

Looking with an empty face, the electric man chuckles. Then, he rumbled into a hearty laugh, and the scary part is, that he doesn’t even have any mouth to laugh! Sincerely he raised his hand, and a large bolt was struck right in the weapon Daven is holding. All the buttons become energized, then suddenly, the gun was silent.

“My name is Cyber Virus. And you all shall die.” Then his hand turned it’s direction, facing Daven himself. Daven’s expression change from glorified, to horrified. “Your turn.”, he whispered. Then he clasped his hand, pulled them together, and create a small lightning bolt that’s sharp as a spear. With a quick gesture he targets Daven from where he stand.

But before the bolt strikes Daven, 3 lightning arrows came from nowhere and neutralize the threat. The electric man, rotating his head to see the new challenger, who defy him of killing a person as he wishes. It was a small kid, with a staff and a small rucksack, standing in front of Daven.

“I’m afraid of ghost, but no one hurt people that I like!” As he said that, he raises his hand, and creates a small lightning bow, and shoots out 3 bullets of lightning. Cyber Virus, as a being of electricity, simply absorbs it and magnifies his power. “Good meal”, said him with a depressing monotone. “Now this is my turn.”

Now, even more empowered by the electricity give to him, Cyber Virus crafts an even more deadly weapon. It was.....a machine gun, made of lightning. He then pointed out his finger to Arvine, then move his hand slowly across his neck. And a clicking sound.
“Run.”
Each bolts shooks the daylight out of Cyber, but he kept firing. Arvine, who has the ability to teleport, successfully hides from Cyber’s attack. Yet Daven only able to block it with a chair, and each bolt that hits him quickly depletes his stamina, making him unable to stand up. Realizing that Daven might die, the boy quickly gets behind of Cyber, and cast a spell called.....

“Water Prison.”

In a flash, Cyber Virus was electrocuted in the sphere made of water. His face was unable to show any expressions, but the sound he makes inside the bubble was agonizing. Arvine quickly cast Water Shield upon Daven, and then faces Cyber again, who was just freed from the prison. The electric man was catching his breath, for all of his electrical supplies was exhausted upon the cage.

Fighting Chance

As Cyber faces upward, he saw a small kid, rising above him. Smiling, and said: “Let us be friends.” Virus then remembers his past, where the sun still shine in his heart. Then, he snapped, and grabbed Arvine’s hand, and put all his remaining power to electrocute him to the point when he dies. The boy, not realizing the trick, was shocked and even his hair stands out. Knowing there’s a chance that he won’t survive this, Arvine whispered...

“Dragon Merge. Lightning Dragon!”

As he said that, the surrounding has changed. A large, yellow aura was unleashed within him, and the hand of Cyber Virus crackled. Releasing his hand from the clutches of Cyber, Arvine stands again, whirling his staff around him, chanting the forgotten spells of the past.

“I.....gave you chance. Sorry about this.” When he said that, his staff grows yellow and it was brimming with electricity. “Feel the wrath of the dragons......Heaven’s Nine Fury!”
In an instant, the staff grows brighter than ever, and it collects a tremendous amount of electrical energy. Cyber Virus, exhausted, unable to do anything as the kid’s aura grows bigger and bigger.

Upon the first strike, Cyber was replenished with his power.
Onto the second strike, his vitality was recovered.
However, upon the third strike, his body is starting to grow bigger.
During the fourth strike, his body releases constant electricity out-breach.
When the fifth strike lands, his body releases a sound of chipping bones.
After the sixth strike, his body even gets more sound, and swollen to a big ball.
And with the power of seventh and eighth strike, his body constantly shoots bone fragments.
Looking at his now swollen enemy, Arvine looked towards him again. He clasped his hand, and chant the last part of the spell. The Ninth Floors of Heaven.

“May your life be refreshed.”

As he said that, Arvine’s staff glows, and he releases the most deadly part of his spell, the ninth strike of the lightning. In an instant, Cyber Virus body exploded, and a large EMP blast was resounded on the secluded lab. All the computers are destroyed, and other electrical appliances were out of order.

“Awwww. Now the computer’s dead. How can I get the info?”

Turning his head again, he saw Cyber Virus still standing, unimpressed by the display of power that Arvine gave to him. He clasped his hand, and clapped three times. “As a sign of respect, you have done well against me. However, you will still die.”

Then, a cry was heard from behind Arvine. Daven, his hand is stuck between falling tables. Arvine quickly let him loose, and patch him up. Then Daven pulled up his face, and said. “I know his weakness. During the spell he cast, I saw a small skeleton that glows in his face. It mus be his weakness! You must destroy it.”

Cyber, hearing that they have found his weakness, quickly changed his patch. He energized all his body, then changed himself into a large spear made of lightning. Arvine, knowing he must conclude this fight, quickly derived himself from other things.

“Dragon Merge. Light and Chaos!”

Upon merging with the soul, his hair, eyes, and aura changes to black and white. Yet there isn’t enough time. Cyber has thrown himself to them, and his body is as deadly as anything can be.“I’m going to combine Light and Chaos!” As he said that, he quickly purge his blades, and recharge his cannon. “No use pal! You’re going to die!”, said Cyber Virus mockingly.

However, the boy doesn’t give up. He clasped the cannon, and aimed it to Cyber. “I
Triss
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Jul 28, 2013 1:54 AM #1049402
KKA delete the other one.
Dammit I might lose this one.
Boomerang
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Jul 28, 2013 1:55 AM #1049405
Okay I shall copy my CnC here then.

While I truly like both pieces (I really do), i think I'm gonna have to go with KKA on this one.

I liked how long and detailed yours was, KKA. You seemed to use your environment well. My only real beef is at some points your sentences seemed way to long. There could have been periods there at some points. And the spacing was eh to me, but that might have been because of the thing your using to write. And,what ever happened to the others? That was never really made clear. Other than that, i really liked it and don't have much other beef.

Triss, yours was also long, and I liked how it ended too, pretty funny. You also used virtually all of your potential powers to defeat the cyber virus. My beefs, were the fact that at times it seemed like you could have gone into more detail. Don't worry, I have problem with that too, alot. There were also points where a's should have been there and shouldn't have, and singular words should have been plural, but idk if you have broken English or that was the work of bad grammar.

So in the end, while I liked both entries, i shall go with KKA
kingkickass2013

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Jul 28, 2013 2:11 AM #1049430
Quote from Triss
KKA delete the other one.
Dammit I might lose this one.


Why say that? Also I can't delete threads. Anyway why say that your might lose this one, just because I have a one vote lead so far? My past experience shows that a one vote lead doesn't matter at all.
Wyrmspawn
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Jul 28, 2013 3:50 AM #1049561
I'm not voting yet, I haven't decided. But I'm hoping you don't mind if I give some comments first.

I'm going to start with Arvine's story. (Click to Show)


As for King's story (Click to Show)


I would have voted for Arvine, but I'm not 100% certain if I'm going to be a fair judge; I hate the writing style King used so much that it probably clouds my judgement a little.

So, I won't be voting for this one.
Lethal
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Jul 28, 2013 7:29 AM #1049807
Okay, it's been a long time I haven't read a battle, time to read this badass battle. c:
Hewitt

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Jul 28, 2013 2:06 PM #1050040
KKA wins for not extending the deadline for over 2 months.
Triss
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Jul 28, 2013 11:16 PM #1050616
Quote from Mecha-Hewitt
KKA wins for not extending the deadline for over 2 months.

Actually it's 3 month.
From April, to July.

Sorry KKA, I can't give you the fight you want.
If I work out on my grammar, I might give you a better one XP
Back to the school alright.
kingkickass2013

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Jul 28, 2013 11:20 PM #1050629
Quote from Triss
Actually it's 3 month.
From April, to July.

Sorry KKA, I can't give you the fight you want.
If I work out on my grammar, I might give you a better one XP
Back to the school alright.


You gave me a fight didn't ya? Yes? Good that's all I wanted. And you wanted a rematch and you got one, only this time you weren't fighting a drunken king.

Quote from Mecha-Hewitt
KKA wins for not extending the deadline for over 2 months.


Yay?





You know what, Cyber virus has so many powers that I wish I really placed into the story. I wanted to display the badass grim reaper coming in and foiling the plans of Cyber virus and I wanted to use the OVERLOAD blast part of Cyber virus, so many weakness's, so many powers. But oh well, I introduced Cyber virus's item change ability and his fearful feeding ability, I also introduced his skull and his room which was found by Arvine. I also introduced Cyber virus getting cut in half simply by water. I feel my story was pretty successful for the most part. The one thing I didn't mention though is what happened to the child in the flak jacket and Tod and Tom. Jonathan got electricity to the brain but what happened to the other three? Man I regret not placing what happened to them.
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Jul 31, 2013 9:31 PM #1053893
Both reads were enjoyable.

Triss, though your word usage was somewhat difficult at times to follow, I was ultimately able to understand your battle entry. And unfortunately, I felt that your sequence of events were just too unlikely for me to fully enjoy. It was good, but I felt that it had a lot of area's that could have used revising. From the strange acquiring of the rabbit, random availability of the Ghostbuster equipment, and Arvine's initial fear of ghosts that disappear when Cyber virus inhabits the bunny, I think it could have been better.

King, you had some unlikely events in your battle as well, but not as much. What caught my attention was that this group that's forcing Arvine to hunt Cyber virus has a lot of specific info on him. Like pinpoint accurate information, straight from your wRHG page. I understand that gathering intel is sort of a given with major organizations involving agents, and I guess that's what they did do, but maybe next time use synonymous words and phrases in descriptions. That gives your readings more depth and range.

I felt King's flow was better, though you could do with a few pauses in between sentences to make that flow even better. My vote goes to King. ^^
kingkickass2013

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Aug 1, 2013 3:54 AM #1054152
Quote from Nightlock
Both reads were enjoyable.

Triss, though your word usage was somewhat difficult at times to follow, I was ultimately able to understand your battle entry. And unfortunately, I felt that your sequence of events were just too unlikely for me to fully enjoy. It was good, but I felt that it had a lot of area's that could have used revising. From the strange acquiring of the rabbit, random availability of the Ghostbuster equipment, and Arvine's initial fear of ghosts that disappear when Cyber virus inhabits the bunny, I think it could have been better.

King, you had some unlikely events in your battle as well, but not as much. What caught my attention was that this group that's forcing Arvine to hunt Cyber virus has a lot of specific info on him. Like pinpoint accurate information, straight from your wRHG page. I understand that gathering intel is sort of a given with major organizations involving agents, and I guess that's what they did do, but maybe next time use synonymous words and phrases in descriptions. That gives your readings more depth and range.

I felt King's flow was better, though you could do with a few pauses in between sentences to make that flow even better. My vote goes to King. ^^


What I was trying to go for was this organization that wanted to bring down evil entities/evil wRHG's/Monster busters. But I also wanted them to know almost everything about Cyber virus to right down to the point where they have a fair fight against him and also to show that they have been chasing Cyber virus for a while now and are finally going into action after they have learned quite a bit about him (I'm starting a new demo about this agency and what they do), I also wanted them to seem desperate to take this bastard down to go as far as threatening an 11 year old magician for help. But here's the kicker, in the end with the mission complete thing they now believe Cyber virus is destroyed, gone and outta their lives. They were wrong.....
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