What the hell did I just wake up to?
This was Titus Gardener’s first thought as he awoke from his deepened slumber. It had seemed that one moment he was wandering around the vast cities of Stickpage City, a large smile on his face. And then in the next moment, there he was, in an unknown place. His hands slumped downward, checking his pockets for the things that he usually carried with him. Massacre and his picture of Sidney. He let out a heavy sigh of relief to feel the painting still in his front pocket, but yet his knife was not present. Someone probably had stolen it away before entering this place.
What was this place anyway? He looked around the room. There were other people, sitting at their desks, and waiting for whatever was to come. He saw the Lost Wanderers in the midst. Zackeroar, The Crystal Warrior, and his trusted friend Lucario were the only ones sleeping in their chairs, unbeknownst as to what was occurring as of yet. Directly in front of him was a chalkboard with markings that indicated it had been used before. In front of that stood a large desk with an apple at the corner of the top.
Wait a minute…Desks? Chalkboards? Apples? Fuck…. He had finally come to the horrid realization that he was in fact in a classroom. Although this classroom looked nothing like the ones in the schools of Stickpage City. Somehow, they had been dragged into another dimension. By what? That was yet to be discovered. He just hoped that there wouldn’t be any learning to be done. He never went to school, he was always on the streets.
The loud slap of a ruler hitting his mahogany wood desk awoke Titus from his daydream, as well he realized the Lost Wanderers had been awakened by said ruler. Lucario had a bit of drool running down his chin, the other two had bloodshot eyes. Typical thing that would happen to someone who had a rough night and a rough awakening. He brought the gaze of his sea green hues upward, only to find the face of one he knew all too well. It seemed that some of the main civilians of Stickpage had somehow warped into the dimension along with him. It was the administrator of Stickpage, Stone. He adorned a pair of glasses on his face, and his hair was neatly cut short. He adorned khakis and a T-shirt that said “I’m Awesome. Your Not. Questions?” On it.
“Ladies, gentleman.” He said in a heavy British accent, “It is time….for the test”
Suddenly, a dramatic sound effect sounded in the classroom. “DUN DUN DUUUUUUUNNNNN”
And with that, the teacher dropped a test at each person’s desk. The test was five pages of white paper, ten questions on each. Titus heard in his ear a familiar voice, a woman’s voice. “What the fuck, I can’t take this”
He turned to the woman, and it was Rosie. Instead of her normal mod of awesomeness attire, she adorned a belly shirt of pink color, and tight jeans. She had way too much makeup, and her hair was straight. She looked like the popular girl of every cheesy movie.
“Well, your going to have to deal with it, Ms. Rosie.” He replied, a slight smile forming onto his lips as he walked back towards his desk. “BEGIN!!!”
Without warning, a fully sharpened, unsullied yellow No.2 pencil appeared in Titus’ left hand, his dominant hand. He brought his gaze down to the test of fifty multiple choice questions, numbered neatly. He glanced over to his other clan members, who had already begun their test. He let a heavy sigh escape his lips before turning back to his own test.
“This is going to be a big barrel of fun.” He muttered sarcastically as he went to the first question. As he looked at the first question, he began to hear Eye of The Tiger go through the loud speakers.
#1: Who is NOT a high member of Stickpage
A. Hewitt
B. Stone
C. Jeff
D. Naimad
Well, that one was easy. He instantly checked off D, suddenly feeling confident about his chances at passing this test and getting out of here. The questions on the first page were relatively steady with the first question. Questions like, “Which member HASN’T returned”, or “Which member HAS been banned forever”. So by question 10, Titus was pretty confident in himself.
Then came Question 11. What is Chlorophyll? . He froze. He had absolutely no idea if any of these multiple choice questions were right. Then he heard a voice. Cronos’ voice.
“Chlorophyll? How about BORIPHYLL.” He yelled out loud, causing the class to go into a frenzy of laughter. Stone looked up from the book he was reading. His face turned into a demonic scowl.
Suddenly, two ninjas jumped through the ventilation systems in slow-motion, arms spread outward. Cronos‘ face turned from a laughing contortion to a scream as he slowly turned his head around. The slow motion stopped when they hit him, and they both tackled Cronos at the same exact time, sending him tumbling into a wormhole that had opened up just to the side of his desk, all three of them suddenly disappearing from existence.
Titus blinked his eyes rapidly for a few moments at the occurrences that he had just witnessed. All he could think was. Dafuq? .
He quickly turned his head back to the teacher as he cleared his throat. “Ignore question 11.” He said simply before looking back down onto his desk. Titus could swear he saw the title “Playboy” At the front, but he didn’t dwell on it, quickly focusing on his test once again.
***
It wasn’t long after that…mishap…that he had finished the grueling test. If you would call not long after about thirty minutes worth of pure working, that is. Aside from about ten of the questions that actually involved something other than Stickpage, they were all fairly easy. That being said, everyone finished at about the same time. The teacher finally looked up from what he was doing and began to collect the tests. Rosie gave Professor Stone a scoff as she gave him the test, which had a friendly little doodle made of lipstick on it. Titus wondered if her entire test was written in lipstick as well. “We Will Rock You” By Nickelback was playing in the background during the collection, as well as the agonizing hour that it took for Professor Stone to grade the tests of all twenty of the people in the room. It was a nice song to be on repeat at first, but after about a half hour straight of it, he began to become tired of it, and wanted to throw his desk at whatever the hell was playing it. He would probably now hate that song forever.
Finally, Professor Stone stood up, and began to hand back the tests to everyone. Virtually everyone looked at the big grade in red at the test and pumped their fists chanting almost inaudibly: Yes! There were a few people that got said test packet back and brought their heads down in shame. It was a shame, due to the fact that they should be able to know about Stickpage. The ones that had failed the test, as told by Stone, were not allowed to be brought back to where they came from, and were to spend all of eternity listening to Harvie talk. Titus shivered at the thought of such an eternal punishment. All of the members of The Lost Wanderers, including himself, were able to pump their fists and silently scream: Yessss!
Professor Stone opened two doors. One, was the way back to whichever place you were when you were dragged into this place. The ones that got a passing grade were almost magnetically attracted to that. It was the same for the ones who had failed, except they were magnetically attracted to the door that had harvie waiting at the very back of a dimly lit room, with many troll posts written upon the walls and on various pieces of paper. Those poor people, he thought to himself. He was just happy his clan had made it through this, as various victory songs were playing in the background. Looking back to Professor Stone, he came to the realization that the person singing these songs the entire time, was him. He blinked, admiring the fact that he could sing it for a long period of time and mimick their voices perfectly. Though that might have explained the pitch problems from time to time. He nodded to him as he felt himself go into the portal, back to his home in Stickpage City.
