Hello all! So Firefly informed me you have all missed me a bit and I thought I'd pop in and fill you all in on whats been going on in my life! So strap yourselves in, moisturize your beautiful eye sockets and get ready because there is going to be some heavy reading going on involving tales of love, sea adventure, salty endeavors and LOADS OF ALCOHOL!
So where to start? I've officially quit smoking! Ive been using e-cigs for awhile now but not that stupid ass BLU shit you guys may have heard of. Real vaping sticks that are amazing and I've converted A LOT of people on my ship (Including chiefs and officers) to using them. So now I'm pretty much the Walter White of them and people come to me to get their juices. This cruise I plan to have a huge stockpile of e-juice and sell it for a profit. I've been getting back to working out (again) and I'm doing pretty well. I currently work in MWR which is basically the branch of the ship that handles all the liberty and fun stuff. Im mainly THE gym mechanic and I keep over 100 pieces of gym equipment ranging from dumbells to benches to treadmills working. I've actually been so good the top 3 bosses of the ship (Commanding Officer, Executive Officer and Command Master Chief) have complimented to my boss on how this past cruise was the first cruise ever where nearly half the equipment wasnt broken.
So this last cruise we left kinda late so we could only hit one port: Australia. And my god. It was amazing. I didnt go surfing. I didnt go to the Steve Irwin animal park, I didnt even get to eat a kangaroo steak (YES! You can do that!) Honestly my whole time was spent at my 3 bedroom apartment, the mall or the strip club where I met the most amazing woman ever. HOLD YOUR TONGUES GENTS! THIS IS AUSTRALIA! The women here are on a whole different level of amazing. They are genuine, beautiful, always in shape and because Australian men are usually aggressive and violent, when an American gentleman treats a lady like she should be treated, they go head over heels for us! Ill go over the highlights in bullet point form to make this easy:
*This girl is tall as fuck. My friend found her late one night when curfew forced me to be back in the apartment while he continued to scout out on our first night. He knows exactly what I like and always delivers and my god did he ever. The first night was kinda akward meeting her because due to some confusion, I first met her when I was coming out of the backroom with another girl who I THOUGHT was the one my friend mentioned. But she didn't mind and understood and for the rest of the 5 days it was me and her. If she was gone longer than 5 minutes shed always let me know and always explain how some fancy rich guy who spends a lot of money at the club requested her presence and she had to go which I toally understood.
*She actually continuously bought ME drinks and bought ME lapdances. Not only that, she knew I liked tall girls she she suggested that her and another girl (A girl who I shit you the FUCK not is Kari Byrons taller and curvier fucking twin) dogpile me in the chair in front of my friends for HALF the price of what it would have been for ONE girl to do so.
*One night I wore a suit, before I continue here is a picture.
I bought this suit pretty cheap at the Australian equivelant to a walmart. It wasnt fitted but I had a suit smart friend help me out and I looked fucking awesome. I walked into the club slightly late (I wanted to be there when it opened but situations arose and I was an hour or so late) I walked in, shes in the corner with some other guy and sees me. Suave as a motherfucker I go up to her, hand her a bit of cash and say "I need a drink and some time with you, Ill be right back" I go to the bathroom for a quick second to tinkle and within seconds shes left the shmuck and shes around my arm. I look back and his mouth is agape in confusion. (Just as hers was when she saw me walk in) later that night she used the tie to tie me by the neck to the stripper pole and dance on me with my suit jacket tossed aside, shirt unbuttoned to show the entire club she had drawn the silhouette of her tit on my chest and signed it. At the end of the night, she also signed my tie and it is now my favorite (and only) tie.
*We would spend most of our time in the corner of the club shooting pool with my friends (Me and her on a team and when they shot, shed straddle the table. Needless to say, we fucking won) or talking about our pasts and even went into the dark parts talking about drugs and whatnot. It was like me and her were in our own bubble, just me and her and we realized the entire club was watching us. Even my friends who had their own girls would look at us in amazement. At one point I went out for a smoke and an Australian guy had said that I had been the greatest source of entertainment for him and his mates all night (AT A STRIP CLUB MIND YOU) because I was with the tallest woman in all of fucking Brisbane and I am well...not so tall.
*The last night, I snuck her my email address on a little card in a bit of cash and we've actually been keeping in touch! She emailed me 2 weeks after we left. So for TWO WEEKS she kept my email and actually messaged me!
*OKAY! Here is your present for reading all that shit, a picture of me and her! WARNING: She agreed to the picture under a stipulation which I totally understood. 1) It couldnt show her face because her family and friends doesnt know what she does for a living and she doesnt want it to leak out. So we tried to take the picture the first time outside the club but my friends camera fucked up and wouldnt work. We deicded to try again later and at the end of the night at 5AM as the bar is playing "Closing Time" she comes out in her normal clothes ready to leave for home and we just embrace like this. No posing whatsoever. And my friend in one swift fluid fucking MAGICAL motion snapped this picture. (Keep in mind, NO she is not wearing ANY shoes, she was wearing flats but...you know. No heels.)
I saw the image and nearly cried tears of joy. I've decided I have to go back. We keep in touch but she doesnt check her email often but we have been keeping in touch so things are looking good.
So that was Australia! The biggest thing thats happened in my absence really. Everything else has been the same old boring work, really fun and hard work. Today I finally finished a 4 day long process of moving 19 new gym machines each weight over 800+ pounds up 2 stories into the new gym and this Sunday I have to assemble all of them. Besides that, like I said I'm getting out of them military in a little less than a year and right now the plan is to get out, go back to cali for a month, move to Philly with my friend, go to school and get into buisness together in his automotive shop. We may even move to Australia and specialize in american imports. Rich aussie guys buy american muscle cars? We'd be the ones to repair and customize them.
So thats the story! Ill try to stick around a little more but we go back on deployment (My second to last one!) on the 13th but when we hit port I wont be doing anything but getting a hotel and surfing the internet, drinking and saving money.
ANY QUESTIONS? PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ASK! As it stands I've been to 9 different countries. Still living in Japan, and I've been to Thailand, South Korea (Twice), Hong Kong (Twice), Australia, Signapore, Guam, Malaysia and the Philippines. Good to hear you all remember me, I thought for sure this place was dead, haha.