Name
Erik Burns


- Abilities:
He has long since mastered fighting with a Bo staff which he keeps attached to his back
He carries a whip and a small one-handed sledge hammer attached to his belt under his trench coat
He knows martial art as he had trained with the shaolin monks since he was small.
He can leap long distances.
Slightly faster than that of a normal human
Very intelligent
Good reflexes given to him because of his ADHD

- Weaknesses:
He is human after all so anything that kills humans will kill him
Guns because he thinks that they are unnatural things
Lazy when he doesn’t sense danger
Will try not to kill the opponent if possible, especially if they know something of his parents.
He never give up fighting no matter how badly injured he is.

- About/Story:
He was raised in America when he decided he would take off one day when his parents took him to the airport. He was 5 at the time and somehow got onto the runway without anybody knowing. He then walked up a ramp into the storage compartment of a mail plane heading for china without anyone knowing. He survived the cold by staying near the planes generator. Somewhere over china the hatch opened and he fell out about 10000 feet over the mountains only just surviving the fall by landing in a huge snow drift. He was badly injured when a monk found him and took him back to the temple. There the monk raised Erik as his own son and taught Erik the ways of the shaolin until he was 16. Then the monk told Erik of how he ended up at the temple and that he did not know anything about his real parents. Wanting to know who his real parents were, Erik set off from the temple saying that he would be back once he found his parents. He took with him a hammer, whip, and Bo staff for protection. He trained with these weapons and traveled the world searching for any information about his parents and for people to fight. One day he heard about the wrhg and traveled there looking for information on his parents and stronger foes to fight.
- Personality:
Shy and mysterious
He very rarely talks with people when he has the bird mask on.
When it comes to fighting he is very calm and serious.
Acts kind of weird, sometimes, because of his ADHD.
Stubborn

- Appearance:
Dressed in a black trench coat that blows out behind him when he moves, a black Indiana Jones style hat, tight black jeans, a black shirt that hugs his body, and black fingerless gloves.
He wears a black bird mask to hide his face.
He has blue eyes that both have a yellow lightning bolt running around in a circle that seem to move over the blue of his eyes.
He is 6’0”
20 years old
195 lb. but is not fat nor muscular just average
Has short brown hair.
He has white skin that has been tanned to a dark-brown color and feels very leathery from all of his training with the shaolin monks.

- Demo: Erik was sitting on a park bench looking at the clock wondering where the warrior was. The people at the wrhg building said that the warrior would show up at noon and it was now one. ‘Where is that warrior,’ Erik thought to himself as he got up. Just as he got up, a knife appeared where he had been sitting just a moment before. Looking in the direction in which the knife came from, Erik saw the warrior. Erik drew his Staff from his back and blocked another knife that had been aimed at his head. Erik narrowed his eyes and charged the warrior who just laughed. When he got close, Erik jumped up and swung his staff at the warrior. The staff hit the ground as the warrior just vanished and Erik looked around slowly. He saw the warrior appear behind him with a raised sword from the corner of his eye and parried the sword that was about to strike him with his staff.
“Not bad for a beginner,” laughed the warrior.
The warrior then sent the staff flying out of Erik’s hands and swung the sword at him. Erik dodged the sword and grabbed the warrior by the wrist and flung him to the ground as he unhooked his hammer and whip.
“You’re not so bad yourself for a beginner” said Erik as he swung the hammer down and broke the sword.
The warrior vanished again and reappeared about twenty feet in front of Erik holding a mini-gun.
“Die you worm!” shouted the warrior in anger as the mini-gun’s barrel started to spin.
Erik stood still frozen as he saw the unnatural weapon’s barrel spin. Erik knew he had to move and rolled to the side just as the mini-gun started firing at him. Erik hid behind a rock as bullets pelted the rock he was hiding behind, the warrior laughing in pure delight. Erik then ran from cover as fast as he could while lashing out with the whip at the warrior. The whip wrapped around the warrior’s arm and Erik pulled hard forcing the warrior to stagger and drop the mini-gun. Erik then ran forward and smashed the hammer down on the warrior’s shoulder which made him collapse. Erik then took off his hat and trench coat as he knelt over the warrior.
“Never use those unnatural weapons you call guns again,” said Erik as the warrior nodded.
Erik then jabbed the warrior in the throat paralyzing the warrior for life. He put on his trench coat and hat, put his weapons back into their proper places and called an ambulance for the warrior before leaving then park.


- Battles: none yet except the forfeit

- Points: 0/1/0/0
lost to Azure kite because of a busy schedule and had to forfeit
Unavailable until February or until some time is available

Please offer criticism.

I don't know if I should criticize too harshly, but a few things I would like to point out:
1. He is very balanced and not too over powered, but he seems... boring? His personality, his style, his weapons. He needs a little more to become likeable and for people to like him.
2. 5 years old? Really? He ran off and got away? And he survived a plane flight while he was in the storage compartments at a high altitude? A hatch opened up and he fell 10 000 feet? Are you sure he's a normal human being and not immortal?
3. Your grammar and language could use a bit of tweaking and practice. My suggestion to this is reading a bit and seeing how the sentences are put together. It can only work.

Otherwise, I like Erik. Hope you give him enough work and make him great. Maybe he and The Gentleman can have a little encounter for practice. I will help in any way I can.

Welcome my good sir to: wRHG. Looking forward to the challenge.

I'd like to make the statement that your weaknesses category seems rather weak. Of the four, I feel that only the last one really adds any kind of dimension to your character. The first two are generic in the extreme. Guns, especially, needs more description to merit its presence. Is he weak against guns because his kit seems oriented around melee-combat, and he lacks a means to engage in ranged combat? Is he weak against guns because of some deep-seated fear of firearms?

Overall, I'd like more description from weaknesses, and if not that, I'd like for your demo to better elaborate on them. Why are these things strengths or weaknesses?

In general, I feel that your character could benefit greatly from more description.

For example, his appearance:

From your description I know nothing of the tone of his skin. Nor do I know what his hair is like. Does it flow like a river to his waist? Is it cut short and manageable? Is it spiked? How does Erik wear his hair?
What kind of a physical build does he have? I, for one, cannot form a mental image from just height and weight. Does he have a bulky build? Does he look as agile as he is?
Where, exactly, is the lightning bolt on his eyes? Is it literally a moving part, or do you mean that it is an image that is set around his eyes. Or literally on them, as the case may be.

How do his clothes fit on him? Does he wear the trench coat tightly about his body, or does it blow out behind him when he moves? Are his shirt and pants baggy or more clingy?

His combat instincts should warrant an ability, I think. While his mastery of the bo staff suggests that he fights with great skill when using it, it does not explain his ability to sense a blow coming, which he displayed as an impressive ability in his demo.

That being said, welcome to the wRHG. I hope you find yourself a place here with us.

Strongest has pt. Clarify your weaknesses because right now theyre uhm weak. The WL can't in good faith approve your fighter yet.

thanks everyone for the comments and i will do what i can to fix him up.


-Updates to the story, weaknesses, demo, appearance, personality, and abilities have been made.

Can I challenge you?

I know someone who's not afraid to lose, in fact he wants to lose. How about you challenge him?

anyone can challenge me Grenade and yes i know about the one that wants to lose, "The Undefeated One"

the Undefeated One is just a marketing gimmick wyrmspawn has going for him. just fight anyone you want for different reasons

hewitt i know that already but i have an idea that i want to run by you. how about a big free-for-all battle thread where any active member can fight any other active member. it can be like the semi-finals of your tournament where the people have to post what their wrhg does and reacts to what another or multiple wrhgs do to them. how does that sound?

It's been done and it has failed on many levels. The sheer amount of attention you need to check up on everyone is in itself a management nightmare. Not to mention, if everyone sacrificed quality for quantity, it would just turn into a glorified spam thread.

And no offense but at a mere 15 posts with the name 'sadads' I wouldn't trust you to host anything major. Why don't we stick to the basics and you make a name for yourself before you try anything grandiose and failworthy?

good point but it was just an idea

Then you basically have nothing. That's the harsh truth.

If you want something done around here, you start it off yourself. Rally some supporters and just do it. But you have to stick with it till its done no matter what.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't pull off your idea. I'm just telling you of its previous fate. If you believe you can and you want to then go for it, but don't let it go and don't let it die just because the spark died in the middle of your brainstorm.

got it. thanks for the advise

oh yeah btw if you really want to explore your idea but feel inadequate you can pop it in this thread

http://forums.stickpage.com/showthread.php?63626-wRHG-related-characters-Ideas-concepts

and the WL will try and help you along