So i'm 17 (about to be 18 in 12 days) and not very threatening looking, but my brother has to go to alternative school for a little bit for a bad choice he made. He rides a new bus with 6 people, who all tease him, pick on him, rip up his homework and throw it on the ground and make him cry. He's 12 and the rest are about 14, and they were so rude to him that he got off the bus and just started crying, and he doesn't want to go back ever again, but he has 2 - 3 more weeks of it. I can't ride the bus with him, he goes to school after I do, and I can't be there. The bus driver just kind of watched and didn't do anything. Me and my brother are both pacifists... he won't fight, we just can't bring ourselves to violence, it makes us easy targets, i had to deal with this when i was younger and i got beat up sometimes and wouldn't fight back. Well i didnt have an older brother around, mine was in jail or away, and my sister was my older sibling, but she looks younger than me and was short. Well now i'm the big brother, and i'm 5 years older than my brother, and i'm still a pacifist but i don't like kids picking on my brother, because if it gets bad enough he may go the suicide route i did.

What do i do guys? I can't see him off, and i can only be there after he's dropped off. These kids are making him afraid to go to school, and the teachers and bus drivers don't care and just let it happen.

I would definitely suggest either:
A) Dropping him off at school before you go; that way he will at least be in sight of other staff besides the bus driver. He would be able to hang out in the classroom for a while before class starts.
B) Asking your sister to drop him off at school, if she lives close.
(I'm assuming you have vehicles. If not, public transportation may be better.)
You should also be there when he gets out of school, instead of him taking the bus home. I'm assuming you get out of school because he starts class after you do.

Quote from Fries

I would definitely suggest either:
A) Dropping him off at school before you go; that way he will at least be in sight of other staff besides the bus driver. He would be able to hang out in the classroom for a while before class starts.
B) Asking your sister to drop him off at school, if she lives close.
(I'm assuming you have vehicles. If not, public transportation may be better.)
You should also be there when he gets out of school, instead of him taking the bus home. I'm assuming you get out of school because he starts class after you do.

Thats good info i should include. He gets out of school after me and his school is 45 min away (its alternative school not his reg school) so theres no way for me to make it to his school. My sister has a full time job so she cant always take him or pick him up.

Quote from Pin

Thats good info i should include. He gets out of school after me and his school is 45 min away (its alternative school not his reg school) so theres no way for me to make it to his school. My sister has a full time job so she cant always take him or pick him up.

Shit, man... What's the public transportation like there? Do you live in a good area/is the school in a good area? I know he's twelve, but anything is better than getting bullied for 45 minutes straight both ways (and since it's has multiple stops, probably longer).

Quote from Pin

he won't fight, we just can't bring ourselves to violence, it makes us easy targets

He's made himself a target by looking weak, this lack of confidence is usually the first thing that attracts a bully's attention. Tricking people into thinking that can't hurt you is usually a very nice way of making sure people never try, but it sounds like it's to late for that in this situation. A good place to start would be to keep his head up, shoulders back, and have confidence, it also helps to look them dead in they eyes with a somewhat defiant look if they ever eye him off or confront him. Not meeting their eyes is pretty much a green light for them.
I also think to goes without saying that he can never cry in front of them (getting off the bus to cry counts), if he really wants to go down the pacifist road, he needs the mental fortitude to accept all the shit he gets, let it go, and then forgive them for it.

Has someone from your family talked to the school about this? I'm not sure how it is where you live, but here is Aus the school is responsible for the kids until they get home, which means they have to take action if they're told someone is being bullied on a bus.
But if he truly is alone (no help from teachers, the driver, or other kids) then he needs to find away to stand up for himself. I would personally punch the ring leader in the face, but it sounds like that's not an option. So he needs to find something that he's okay with that will show the bullies that he won't let them walk allover him. But at the end of the day I don't think you need to worry about him committing suicide if it'll only last for three more weeks and you're there to support him.

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The best advice I can give is to make him not get on that bus. Jellyfish's advice is more like if he absolutely can't take any other method of transportation. I'm sorry, but there really isn't a simple scenario for this.

Violence is the absolute worst-case scenario. Remember that.

Quote from Hewitt

jellyfish is right. Theres a difference between being a pacifist and being a coward. Just because you don't want any shit to happen doesn't mean you shouldn't take the shit that's happening to you.

On a sidenote, can you actually goto that school and determine which kids are bullying your bro?

We are cowards, the rest of our family isnt, but we don't have that spine. I've gone 18 years with no back bone, people tell us all the time you can't be afraid of people, or sit there and take shit and all that, but it just isnt that easy with us. I couldn't tell you why, it's easier for some people, and harder for others, and the ones it's hard for makes easy targets. My dad fears for my life, he thinks i'll mentally snap because i let people walk all over me for so long without any act of violence or aggression, just depression and suicide, he thinks one day imma go berserk in anger instead of falling into a depression or some shit. I feel good now, i dont really feel like i did when i was my brothers age, but i know what it's like to be the small kid, with the big head, whos weak with no back bone, it hits you hard when you're that young you know? As you get older and maturity sets in you kinda realize you need to be assertive and stuff, but you just dont get it when you're little.

As for going to see who the bully is, i dunno, we don't want to cause too much trouble because they know my brothers house and they were telling him they were going to come to some other kids house and "beat him up and kill him etc" They're probably bluffing since they're 14. My parents are probably gonna report it and tell the school but their fuck level is so low at that school because it's all "trouble makers"

Let him leave the school. If your brother is sick and tired of getting beat up in the face, and none of the staff gives a fuck, either tell your parents to let him go to a better school, to be with your school, or you, yourself, to confront those little 14 year old bastards. I myself have gotten bullied always before, and shit, I was so brutal. As I progress every year, bullies started to unbully me. I have confronted them myself, with my sister too sometimes. You are his brother, you shouldn't only just comfort him and let him decide to go suicide. What'd your bro do anyways? Why is his consequence to be in that school?Either your parents or you have to confront those bus bullies when you have free time.

If he won't fight back "Verbally or physically" then he should aqcuiesce to the fact that small people who want to feel big are going to try to dominate him. In what way would it be logical to expect otherwise?
Why do these other kids behave like this? Why do they want to do these things? Probably because they hurt inside too, maybe just as much as your brother. I'd be willing to wager that being a bully doesn't make most of these kids feel good inside. Imagine being trapped in a cycle of feeling like shit and making others feel like shit, which is a bad place to be. Consider why they do it. Is it possible your brother has been behaving in ways that could provoke this kind of response? I'm just saying, you don't really know them or what they're day is like. I'm in no way justifying their shitty behavior, but instead asking you to learn some perspective. Because one of the few things you can do when you refuse to fight is look at it from different sides.
Another thing that you can do is communicate. He should let them know that he feels like they're picking on him and that he doesn't like it, asking them if they'd please stop. Chances are they won't.
If your tactics for dealing with this sort of thing is simply to take it, then you're going to need to be tougher, much tougher.

Since you're the ones leaving yourselves at the mercy of other peoples behavior, you'd be better off changing yourselves, not them.
Fuckin' bullies are a dime a dozen bro. If it's not these fags picking on you, it'll be some other fags.

Introduce him to this place, we will protect him with big words.

There's no way to tackle bullying without standing up for yourself and there's no way of being a pacifist if words can actually hurt you.
Since you're not up to take the intimidating big bro role, he will have to get his shit and napkins together and survive those 2-3 weeks.
Or you could call your brother from jail to shank these kids.

Scheming time. Your brother should buy a recorder and just leave it on while he is sitting on the school bus. Your brother should make it obvious that he is trying to ask for help from people on the bus, namely the driver. Eventually when enough evidence has been accumulated, threaten the driver. Tell him that if he doesn't deal with this shit, his job is at risk. A, he is failing his responsibility to ensure that you are safe as while being transported. B, this will ultimately reflect poorly on the company when word gets out to other parents. Nothing solved? Make a Youtube video (simply ask someone in the front seat to record what is happening). People love these kinds of things.

If this still doesn't work. I guess it is just a matter of enduring, or fighting back. Like others have said before, there is a fine line between cowardice and pacifism, and don't expect the aggressors to tell the difference; they won't fucking care. But imagine trying to antagonize something that will constantly bite you back. They will come to the conclusion that the potential amusement is not worth the consequence; I'm basing this off operant conditioning (Scientific evidence ftw). On the other hand, if your brother continues to do nothing, and shows some kind of emotional response to the bullies. This is just fuel for them to continue. They thrive off of others misery. To put things simply, your brother should give them a reason not to bully him. Just make sure it is a good reason.

So. How can he accomplish this? One thing I would recommend is martial arts. I was (still am) a really short kid, and I could see that many thought that I was weak. However training in a martial art really did boost my self esteem; I can picture how easily I could have fallen into depression if I had never tried it. While I was small, I believed that I was capable of things many of these guys were not; I was better then them at something. You can call this arrogance (in which I agree) or an illusion of sorts (to which I also agree). Most importantly, however, it was useful.

Now while martial arts does not have an immediate effect, I must admit that it will indeed help him with his self esteem (if practiced with the correct mindset). Of course this will not be a solution to your problem (considering your brother only has a few weeks left), but this is preping for the future. The bullying will provide him a reason to practice and improve himself. And while he does so, he will learn how to defend himself and improve physically. What is created is a positive feedback loop that ultimately leads your brother to grow and may even give him a passion; a reason to avoid suicide.

Even if he does not have the ability to beat all the bullies, at the very least, he has the knowledge that he won't let them walk away without a fight; hence confidence (and invaluable real world practice). Use failures as fuel for self improvement. And before you say that martial arts is all about violence, it is not I assure you. The physical aspect of it dims in comparison to what a person can achieve mentally, so pacifism is not an excuse.

Let me just go ahead and say that pacifism is bullshit. You can't solve every problem peacefully, much like how you can't solve every problem violently. It is about using the right form of action in the right place. Being a brother who has had first hand experience of how shitty the life a so called "pacifist" is, it is your responsibility to make sure your brother isn't making the same mistakes as you.

One easier way is to make friends. Talk to people on the bus. Start a conversation. Having a gang will deter bullies, and was probably the reason why I managed avoided any of these incidents during my school life. Try to make friends with the bully even. Share him candy or whatever. It is hard to be an asshole to someone who is nice to you. If they continue to be an ass... I guess they just accepted the fact that they're an ass.

The kids are 14 for fuck's sake, just call their parents and respectfully explain to them that their offspring is physically and emotionally abusing your brother and damaging his property during bus rides. You said these kids are there for "bad decisions" so I'm assuming they're already on their parents shit list, mention that you already talked to the driver and the school, they haven't done anything, and you wanted to give the parents one last chance to fix this before going to the police about it.

You're not an authority figure so there's nothing else you can really do.

Quote from Envoy

Scheming time. Your brother should buy a recorder and just leave it on while he is sitting on the school bus. Your brother should make it obvious that he is trying to ask for help from people on the bus, namely the driver. Eventually when enough evidence has been accumulated, threaten the driver. Tell him that if he doesn't deal with this shit, his job is at risk.

I doubt it. It depends on the local district policies for bus drivers, he's probably not legally required to intervene in every situation and I doubt this specific one is severe enough to justify punishment for failing to do so.

mmhh...is he getting bullied only in the bus or also in school? If only in the bus, just take the bike or let your parents drive him...if not, well....I dont have this experience, but what I want to say is: Change school. Or if he dont want to change the school cause of some things, then he shouldnt be alone in the bus -_- Alone, you are an easy victim....but, if he is alone....maybe he should get in the bus at the front near the bus driver. cause if he get hit etc again, just cry loud, so the bus driver (who actually doesnt care) get nerved. never go to the back of the bus.

Holy....thats a really problematic issue :( hope your brother and you will find a way out.
Good luck.

Don't try to fight him physically. That's never a good idea.
Punching him in the face will just make him more determined to punch back even harder.

Anyways, a good suggestion is to have your brother buddy up with a friend or someone, because I had the same problem when I was at a public middle school.
The bullies always go for the pray when they are alone, so be sure he's near a friend when he's out of class.