Stick Page Forums Archive

Danny Lo, The Sorcerer of the Storms

Started by: SmellsLikeGreek | Replies: 10 | Views: 2,249

SmellsLikeGreek
2

Posts: 178
Joined: Mar 2014
Rep: 10

View Profile
Apr 14, 2014 11:51 PM #1186750
Name: Danny Lo

Age: 22 (Human Years)

Weapons: A brown hard cover Spellbook filled with a plethora of spells ranging from healing spells, to killing spells. Also wields a pair of lightning infused daggers, but keeps them hidden away.

Abilities: Lightning and Electrical Manipulation. Can only use spells in his Spellbook that correspond with his lightning abilities. Amazingly skilled in Various types of martial arts, Kick boxing, and normal Boxing. His energy levels stops at 300%, while a normal energy level would be 100%. His increased due to his training with the Deltoids.

Spells (Click to Show)


Weaknesses: If he uses too many spells, he'll eventually run out of energy, and knock himself out. Earth and Fire spells usually cancel his out, and deal a massive amount of damage to him. He's not too strong, and when it comes to having to use his daggers, He's not as skilled as he'd like to be. Although he is very skilled at hand to hand combat, he usually makes mistakes, and puts too much faith into his attacks.

Back story:
Story (Click to Show)


Appearance: Danny is African American. He has a small black Afro, and always wears a pair of golden aviators to conceal his glowing blue eyes. He wears a black T-Shirt, and Black Jeans, along with Black boots, and a Grey trench coat.

As a stick figure, He is a brown stickman, and always has his Spellbook in hand.


Personality: Danny is usually quiet and calm, He thinks his actions over before he commences them. He usually makes battle plans before he even meets the enemy.

Hobbies The only thing Danny does is sit in his apartment and read. On rare occasions, he goes out and sits on the beach and stares at the ocean.

Demo:
Demo (Click to Show)


Battles: 1/0/0
Dazh
2

Posts: 625
Joined: Sep 2013
Rep: 10

View Profile
Apr 14, 2014 11:57 PM #1186754
Seeems....familiarrrrrrrrrrrr
devi

Posts: 2,756
Joined: Jun 2013
Rep: 10

View Profile
Apr 15, 2014 12:05 PM #1186946
Its a good idea and all but the only thing that is bothering me is the abilties

They're not OP or anything but can you give us a list of what he can use? Otherwise people will have no ground to work on when he/she/it fights against you.


Also: The demo
DON'T MAKE IT SO JUMBLED TOGETHER. Use paragraphs or else your reader will not only have a hard time reading but also that it looks uninteresting to read.
Majin
2

Posts: 43
Joined: Apr 2014
Rep: 10

View Profile
Apr 15, 2014 8:41 PM #1187072
Very interesting character but make the demo spaced out so readers won't be discouraged
SmellsLikeGreek
2

Posts: 178
Joined: Mar 2014
Rep: 10

View Profile
Apr 17, 2014 3:00 AM #1187446
I know about the Demo. While i was writing i got a bit rushed, and had to leave in a little amount of time. So i rushed it a little bit. I'll fix it when I have the time. And I'll update the abilities as well.
SmellsLikeGreek
2

Posts: 178
Joined: Mar 2014
Rep: 10

View Profile
Apr 19, 2014 10:15 PM #1188239
I've spaced out the Demo a bit. I might just re-write it, or keep spacing it out and add some things to it. Also I've updated the spells. Which ones he uses, and how much energy they take up.
SaulMurphy
2

Posts: 290
Joined: Oct 2013
Rep: 10

View Profile
Apr 23, 2014 9:22 AM #1189280
Let me take a look...

Ooo, diversity. Oh wait... just a little diversity. Luckily for you, you have the kind of character that can develop. Meaning, after every fight you could add a spell you've learnt or something... much like devi's character that has dormant spells he hasn't discovered yet..

Anyways... I'm not going to go crazy cnc on your demo, because its a demo, let's be honest. So here's one little piece of advice you can most likely apply to all your writing. Read your work aloud. I was reading that first paragraph and had trouble because of these few words: "she had on.." More appropriately would be: she wore a white dress, she had red lipstick on, the nametag she was wearing said "emily" on it. Basically, just read the sentencesout loud to yourself and see if it sounds right.

Excuse the grammar...
SmellsLikeGreek
2

Posts: 178
Joined: Mar 2014
Rep: 10

View Profile
Apr 24, 2014 1:55 PM #1189565
Thanks for the help. I'll re-write my Demo soon so that i can show case everything he can do. And so that it'll come out better than the current one.
SmellsLikeGreek
2

Posts: 178
Joined: Mar 2014
Rep: 10

View Profile
Apr 24, 2014 5:46 PM #1189619
Got a new Demo up. Much better than the other one.
Aquila
2

Posts: 2,716
Joined: May 2014
Rep: 10

View Profile
May 22, 2014 8:12 PM #1198051
I like it, and i challenge you, magician v magician bahaha
SmellsLikeGreek
2

Posts: 178
Joined: Mar 2014
Rep: 10

View Profile
May 27, 2014 7:49 AM #1199398
That'd be cool. Although i haven't done much writing today, but you're on if the challenge still stands. I've been rather busy this past month.
Website Version: 1.0.4
© 2025 Max Games. All rights reserved.