This round, you will write a story using nonlinear time. This means you must do one of two things: you may either present a story in anachronistic order or write a plot involving nonlinear time (e.g., time loops or time travel).

A story is considered to have an "anachronistic order" if the scenes presented do not come in chronological order. This means that flashbacks and flashforwards are valid. "Anachronistic order" specifically means that full scenes are presented out of order (you can't just have a three sentence long flashback).

If your story is about nonlinear time, it has to actually be a main part of the plot (though I don't see how you would make it not important). Any form of time travel is allowed, as is any other kind of time weirdness. Remember that these stories must be able to stand on their own (so while a Peggy Sue story would be allowed, it would be extremely difficult to pull off).

Now more than any other time, remember to write clearly. Messing with chronology is inherently confusing, so it's your job to make sure that your readers can figure out exactly what's going on; the best plot in the world won't mean a thing if people can't see it.

Your story may be up to 4500 words unless otherwise specified.

The betting phase lasts five days and ends at midnight CST on Sunday, the ninth of November. This is the time to declare your bets. Your betting range is listed with your matchups below. Remember, if you take too long, your opponent might make the declaration before you, so if you want to go high risk you might want to declare fast.

Once your bet has been set, I will PM both of you your individual prompts and you can start writing.

If neither of you declare a bet by the end of the betting phase, I will set your bet to the minimum.

Deals are exactly the same as they were last round.

You may request a Deal at any point during this round by either putting it in your bet declaration post or sending me a PM. I will issue the Deal 24-48 hours later (if I don’t, then PM me again). You may cancel your request at any point before it’s actually issued without penalty, but you may not re-request the Deal if you do so.

The Deal gives you one extra token at the end of the round, but you must hold up your end of the Deal for every round it is in effect or you will be penalized a token.

If you wish to use your shuffle on the Deal you get, just PM me saying so. Remember, you may only shuffle one Deal in the entire tournament and you are not allowed to return to your old Deal. You are also only allowed to shuffle the Deal you get the same round.

Head in the Clouds
Hiking is a great way to get exercise and experience nature. You'll be able to take in the sights and sounds and at the same time reflect on more personal concerns. Oxygen gets thin at higher altitudes, so be careful not to overexert yourself.

Setting: A mountain trail.
Scenario: One of your characters is caught out on a lie.
Prompt: Your characters do not have to be travelling together (so it is okay if they just happen to meet). The lie does not have to be the cause of the conflict, but it does have to be an important element to the plot. The existence of the lie has to be discovered, not revealed (the contents of the lie, however, can be admitted after the liar has been caught).

Book Ends
Book ends is a stylistic choice in which an author begins and ends the story in the same way (e.g., a certain action or a line of dialogue). It's usually used to show how things have or haven't changed or to recontextualize the scene or sentence or action. You will be given credit based on how well your book ends work with the rest of the story (both thematically and stylistically). You will be penalized if your book ends sound contrived or otherwise forced.

BoomerangReturns (won by forfeit)
Tokens: 10
Round Score: 51
Cumulative Score: 211
Scores: 20/31/0/0/0

ErrorBlender (won by forfeit)
Tokens: 4+1-2
Round Score: 56
Cumulative Score: 212
Scores: 30/26/0/0/0

There were two forfeits: WafflesMgee and Nikx232.

Format is Username: Tokens/Completed Rounds/Cumulative Score
1. BoomerangReturns: 10/3/211
2. ErrorBlender: 3/3/212
3. WafflesMgee: 1/2/199
4. Nikx232: 1/2/134
5. Kyra: 0/2/196
6. Tremorfist: 3/1/69
7. Aquila: 1/1/78
8. The Strongest: 1/1/77
9. Xate: 1/1/67
10. Tantalum: 1/0/0
10. zoomxoom: 2/0/0
10. Shadowkirby: 1/0/0

There were some serious issues in characterization. A character isn't just someone who does things to make the story happen; it's someone who drives the story. In a sense, the main character and their personality is the story, which is to say that the plot simply couldn't exist without that character and their actions. A major problem was telling and not showing personality traits. You can't write "John loved to bake cookies all the time," because all we get out of that is that John "bakes cookies all the time". If, instead, you write something like, "Aaron smelled baking cookies as he reached the bottom of the stairs and smiled. Maybe if he asked nicely, John would let him eat a few," you establish with those two sentences that Aaron and John are on friendly terms, John bakes regularly, and that John is good at baking cookies and/or Aaron has a sweet tooth. You don't need to write "Jack was angry" if you write "Jack slammed the papers down and stormed out of the room". And you don't have to write "Jack did this a lot," if you write "Irene rolled her eyes and sighed. 'Just give him a few minutes,' she said. 'He'll be back after he gets some coffee'". Readers can deduce a lot from actions, so use that to your advantage.

Another problem was with general style. Like I said earlier, there was a lot of "tell, don't show". It makes stories sound very passive, which kills tension and makes it hard to get invested in the events and characters. If you write events saying "They had looked around", that tells us that that's something that happened in the past, so it's not as urgent. If you write "The sword had pierced his lung," the past perfect tells us that "he" got stabbed in the past, but that's not important right now. If, instead, you write "The sword pierced his lung," the simple past tense suddenly puts us right in the moment where he gets stabbed. Similarly, writing things like, "Jeff fell over because somebody pushed him," is more passive than "Somebody pushed Jeff and he fell over". The difference is that the first one is stopping the action to explain what's going on whereas the second is just telling us what happened. The reader already knows that Jeff fell over because he was pushed because they're in the same sentence. (Also, "Somebody pushed Jeff and that caused him to fall over" or "Somebody pushed Jeff and he fell over because of that" are just as passive.)

There's this weird thing where people keep writing body parts doing things as opposed to the characters doing them. If you say that "Paul's eyes stared at Jean," you're just telling us that Paul has eyes that are facing Jean. Simply writing "Paul stared at Jean" is an action that shows that the character has a certain intent. The thing about isolating body parts is that you end up separating the character from the action, which generally isn't a good thing. People don't really care about Paul's eyes; they care about Paul. That being said, there are points when this is acceptable, like if there's a sequence when the character's body is moving on its own or without conscious intent. Certain sensations are fine when associated with specific body parts, like writing "Hanson reached for the poker and his fingers barely brushed against it" or "Yvonne's toes curled as she watched the grisly footage". This is because these actions don't have intent and are usually to show a character's state of mind through unconscious reactions.

Something I want to note is that a lot of people use "seemingly" or "a figure". The problem with this is that it's vague and comes off as trying to force suspense. Don't use noncommittal language to describe your character ("Cadence was sort of bored" or "Aria was seemingly angry"). Especially don't use negatives like "He did not feel happy" because we care about what he did feel, not what he didn't. Bringing it back to the whole "tell, don't show" issue, saying that someone "likes to bake" doesn't actually tell us anything except that they "like to bake". If you show us a specific instance of them baking, we see a lot more than they "like to bake"--we can see things like if they're orderly or doing it as a job or just because they like baked goods. The key to good writing is being specific--not to be confused with gorging on details and descriptors. Saying that someone "beat up" someone else leaves a lot to the imagination whereas having someone "throw someone to the wall" actually evokes a specific image.

There are some redundancy issues, too. You should never write something like "'Sorry,' Brom apologized". You should never spend three sentences saying the exact same thing because it becomes tedious and sounds like you're underestimating the reader's intelligence and/or memory. If you said that there was a dark hole, then readers will know that it's still dark when you refer to it later. If a sentence isn't adding any new information, then it should be cut. This also applies to explaining things that should be evident (like "Terry was in pain because he got hit by a crowbar" right after saying "Sara dropped a crowbar and it fell on Terry's head").

As for grammar, there's really nothing I haven't said already. There are still semicolon issues and wordiness and tense changes and mishandled dialogue tags. If you're looking to improve your grammar, then you might want to look into checking out some online resources like the Purdue OWL or a style guide like The Elements of Style by Strunk and White.