wRHG- Limb, The Humanoid Tank

Started by: Bronze | Replies: 8 | Views: 1,370

Bronze
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Nov 10, 2014 10:06 AM #1267094
Name: Limb
Age- 22
Abilities:
[spoiler=]

  • Super Strength- His strength is enough to wield his cannon, which is as almost as heavy as he is. His body weighs about three tons (6,000 pounds I think?) His cells are way more packed together than a human being's. Anything from his planet has a immense amount of density packed in it, resulting in heavy body weight despite not being large in size. He may not be able to lift a tank or anything, but he sure as hell is a hard person to move by force.

  • Resistance to impact- As long as it does not open a wound on his skin, burns him, or freeze him, Limb can withstand it. The ungodly gravity on his home planet caused his race to have extremely strong bone and muscle structures. Even the guy's BRAIN could get smashed by a hammer unguarded by a skull and still be okay! (Although, it would probably hurt like hell. XD)

  • Carries an extremely sturdy shield- Not much to say here. Although not indestructible, the thing can withstand mostly anything. It'll start to crack if something like a blast from a tank shoots it head on.

  • Wields a cannon- The cannon is only slightly lighter than he is, so it is still abnormally heavy. The shots it self has destructive power dangerous to even the wielder at times. Limb only really uses it to take out vast amount of enemies or dangerous foes.

  • Haves overwhelming body weight- Mentioned in the super strength part, his weight is so heavy, yet he is only the size of a regular person. Because he is so heavy, yet so small in comparison of anything with equal weight, he can crush probably the sturdiest structures on Earth by simply falling on it from a high enough height.

  • Leg Strength- His race's legs strength have to out shine their arm strength by at least four to one or else, they would not be able to use them. Their own body would have just crushed them right their in then. Don't get power kicked by Limb if you want to live please...

  • Also haves a small laser gun- This weapon was a common one used by even the recruits to the alien army. The power is enough to go through steel without friction slowing it down, and it does not get disturbed by wind or gravity during it's time mobile in the air. It has really long range, however, the speed of the laser itself is only mediocre. Since this weapon was mainly attended to erase annoying Vehicles or Mechs out of the picture, the damage to the flesh is not that great. It takes about five shots for it to reach the heart of a human being, so it was probably ineffective period against the people of the alien planet.

  • Jet Pack- This jet pack uses any kind of atoms to power it by mimicking their electrons and protons. It blasts it's fire with substantial power to support Limb's Weight.

[/spoiler]
[Continue edit tomorrow]
Weaknesses:
[spoiler=]

  1. His cannon is even heavier than he is! It slows him down a lot when he has it.
  2. His cannon may have destructive power, but has a hell of a recoil. A fully charged shot will send even him flying.
  3. His Shield is not exactly indestructible. They are regular shields from his planet, but some other wRHG characters here could probably break it easily. He gets really upset when this happens.
  4. His heavy body weight can be used against him. If a foe trips him or cause him to lose his balance even slightly, he will most likely fall.
  5. His stamina drains really quickly when in harsh temperatures without his jacket.
  6. Resistant to IMPACT. Blades, swords, and elements is a whole different story.

[/spoiler]

About/Story:
Limb is not a human. He is from a planet that has a strong gravitational pull almost the quarter of a black hole. His race's bodies evolved to resist and survive this endless kind of harsh gravity. The planet had only limited amount of resources that their kind used to live and it was disappearing fast, but his kind found a planet similar to theirs, earth. However, because of certain other conditions, this planet was inhabitable to a large amount of his kind. Without warning, the higher powers of the alien government tries to abandon its people and go to earth since only a small amount of their race can live there. If the entire civilization of the planet traveled to this heaven compared to their homes, their weight would have crushed it.

The alien government almost succeeded in leaving their people, but alas, they founded out. Outraged by this betrayal, the people of the alien planet started a massive war that raged to the point of extinction. Limb was only a teenager when he was sent to earth by his father, a soldier to the government, in one of the last pods capable of getting to earth. Limb's father also gave him a cannon capable of great destruction in hopes of getting revenge on the planet that turned his brothers against him. Believing that should not be a reason to destroy a planet, Limb ignores this fact. Limb was also given a shield, and a laser gun, just in case.
[spoiler=]
Personality:
Limb is constantly curious to the point he is kind of silly. It can hamper his fighting capabilities at one point, and improve them at another. He also likes to prepare for as many bad things that could happen to him as possible. Limb is also a bit immature, getting angry over simple things such as a broken shield. He haves an excited personality when by himself and thinking to no one but himself, but a quiet personality when near others unfamiliar to him.

Appearance:
If I did draw him as a stick figure, I would have made him brown.
Anyway, he wears an exotic brown jacket covered with markings of his race such as swirls and strange shapes. It is actually a kind of armor that protects him from heat and cold. His baggy sweatpants are also alien materiel, brown, and also help with that for the lower section of his body. The yellow T-shirt he wears under the jacket is nothing special. His sneakers are black running shoes that are human material as well. He also haves blue gloves and a green necklace that is the shape of a four leaf clover. His hair is orange and is a smooth short bowl style. His eyes are black and skin color is pale. The race he is a part of looks pretty much identical to humans in terms of body types and facial structures and so does he. He stands medium sized at the height of 5'6 feet. His arms are slightly muscular.
The shield he carries is large, emblem shaped, and blue. It carries the sign of a hexagon on the front of it. His cannon is white with the barrel of it being purple. It shoots blue lasers that explode on impact with anything. A fully charged shot is green. His laser gun shoots red lasers.
Overall, if people believed in aliens, they would probably keep their distance from him…
[/spoiler]
Demo:
[spoiler=]
“…It is quiet….exactly the correct amount of quiet!” A young man says happily.
“Meaning, that they will TOTALLY not find me here!” He says as he hides in the alley way behind a wall, but just as soon as he says such thing, the concrete in front of him explodes. The shockwave and sound of such great power blasts him through the wall he was hiding behind. He lands he head first onto the floor of the abandoned building located deep within a dark forest.

His disparaging luck was added only by the sound of gun bullets flying through of what’s left of the wall. He just barely puts up his shield while steadily getting up. The bullets that manage to hit him hurts like hell, but he quickly shakes them off, pondering on how the heck to get out of the situation. Grunting in pain and annoyance for each bullet that makes its mark on him, he just says screw it and charge out the direction they are coming from. He immediately regrets his decision since the shooters are snipers on a helicopter that is above nothing but a vast cliff.

He curses, then curses again… then again as his body descends until it hits the cold, hard ground fifteen seconds later.
His impact with the floor of the earth causes an immense BOOM that seemed capable to make the planet itself shed a tear. The helicopter moves out the way of a geyser of dust shooting into the air. The snipers and driver could only look in slight horror of the massive earthquake shaking the world with its presence.
When the dust finally blows away because of the wind, they see an enormous crater in the ground, along with a pissed off alien.
From the ground, Limb grabs his laser gun, and shoots rapidly at the helicopter that veers left and above the cliff he fell off.

“Reinforcements!” The driver cries as he handles the handle of the helicopter that has a damaged wing.

Limb was just about to calm down again, but suddenly, tanks and a vast group of robotic soldiers surrounds him.
He slowly puts away his Laser gun and slowly raises his hands up.

“Okay guys… Let’s just talk about this.”

The war bots does not listen and opens fire on him.

“Gah, ow!” He screams as he activates his jet pack to fly into the sky.

The soldiers hold their fingers squeezed on the trigger as they keep their guns aim at him. Getting high enough into the sky, he grabs his cannon from his back, and begins charging the shot power. As he does so, a large light from his cannon can be seen shinning as bright as the sun in the color of blue, steadily turning green.
Despite this, his foes still shoots at him. A tank shot would have blasted him, but he just barely blocks it with his shield.

“Son of a-“ He says angrily, examining his broken Jet back and cracked shield. The shot from the tank sent his even higher into the air, the recoil of the incomplete charged shot of his cannon sent him even HIGHER into the air.

He aimed at the soldiers….but missed miserably. However, the explosion is colossal and it still takes out about half the soldiers hunting him down.
He was just about to celebrate, but then he remembers that he is falling…. Extremely fast.
He looks down at the world of earth, aka a world of pain, and could only say one thing.

“Ah-“ He starts.
“Crap…” A tank operator finishes, just before getting completely crushed by the might of Limb’s weight. The collision destroys the rest of the soldier bots.
A being walks-…well limps out of the destruction of the quick skirmish, revealing to be Limb. “Maybe I should stay out of the sky when fighting….” He says to himself. [/spoiler]

Battles: link-to-a-voting-thread-of-a-finished-battle-of-yours

Points: 0/0/0/0 or

Notes:

  • Still not finished yet. I just need to find a name for his race and a couple more things.
  • I’m really worried since almost 90 percent of characters here use swords and elements… XD
  • Was there too much explosive stuff he has, is he overpowered… or underpowered.
  • I have multiple character ideas, I’m thinking of writing a tourney where the ones that wins is the wRHG character for me. (So no, Limb is not my official wRHG guy yet.) Is there any where I could do that?
  • My first try at this Don't shoot me down TOO much if you don't like it please?
not my official wRHG guy yet.) Is there any where I could do that?
DelorMaximus
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Nov 10, 2014 10:45 AM #1267102
HEEEEEEEEY a new wRHG, fresh out of the box as well (posted 10 minutes ago as I started writing this :D )

First and foremost, name's Alex, but people mostly know me as homer (old nickname, been around for a while) and I would like to welcome you into our beautiful madhouse. Don't worry we don't bite...much.
Anyways enough with the chitchat and let's get straight to bussiness, shall we?

Let's start with Powers and Weaknesses:
All and all nothing is too unbalanced or wierd, given the fact that you read the background first, cause ima be honest; at first I gave a big wtf about it. But a tip that I would give you is to describe in detail the powers.
Ex:
Quote from Bronze
Super Strength

Man is so strong that he could lift two cars, WITH ONE HAND!
You know, give some more details. Helps us writers and will help you as well in your future battles. Cause they might be people that are heavy enough to contrast his super strength.

Quote from Bronze
Haves overwhelming body weight (The weight of a skyscraper)
Leg Strength

I will be honest about those. I don't really see the point of them. The first one is very vague and doesn't really give me a scale of how 'fat' the guy is. The other one just makes me think about gym leg day for some reason. So that's it. I suggest revising those, either expanding and explaining, or just removing them.
QUICK NOTE: I think that by "haves" you meant "has"?

Quote from Bronze
Resistance to impact

I believe the better words to use are "Concussive Attacks", which are basically blunt hits. Like punches and bats? But yeah I suggest some expanding on that as well.

Quote from Bronze
His stamina drains really quickly when in harsh temperatures without his jacket

Whot? So if homeboy has a jacket on, he has integrated air conditioning? THAT WOULD BE SICK! But not really practical. You could either say that the jacket is from his home planet and has like special tissues due to the harsh conditions. I dunno, but anyways that's a but weird in my opinion.
EDIT: I accidentally skipped a line in the appearance, the one that actually explains the jacket. So it's ok.

NOW, Let's move to the background.

FIRST OF ALL I LOVE THIS!
Quote from Bronze
a strong gravitational pull almost the quarter of a black hole

As a hardcore science lover, I adore how you changed the popular G Force into 'Black Hole' units.. BRILLIANT! I honestly never thought about that. Don't worry, It's no mistake or anything, I just find it amusing cause i'm a big ass nerd :/
Although still staying into scientific fields, I find hard that Earth would be similar to his home planet. Earth has an attraction of about 1 G. If the home planet is that close to a black hole, I'd guess it will be around 2500 G (quarter of a Black Hole recorded G Force). So It wouldn't make much sens...you know? STORY IS GOOD! i need to stop ranting about science...

The appearance and personality paragraphs are pretty good. No major questions there.
The demo though could have been a bit more impressive, but then again when I think at my first demo, yours it's a piece of art.

Really good character and I'm looking forward into seeing him fight.

Cheers and have a good one.
Alexandru "DelorMaximus" Craescu
RichardLongflop
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Nov 10, 2014 12:38 PM #1267124
Pre-demo spelling stuff (Click to Show)


Demo spelling/grammar stuff (Click to Show)


I got several nitpicks with this guy. One is that if he lives on a planet with that much gravity, it shouldn't be so that his arms are just SLIGHTLY muscular. This guy should be buff to the point he puts Arnold Schwarzenegger to shame. And the gravity of the planet is like quarter of a black hole? Really? They all should be 2D pictures on the ground at that rate, and if the planet isn't a giant ball of tightly woven carbon nanotubes, then it's gonna shatter. Lower that gravity down a bit, pal. Make it so it's like ten times the strength of Earth's or something.

And he's the weight of a sky-scraper? If you put all that weight in a human, they will fly through the ground. A sky scraper has its weight evenly distributed through its base, but this guy has two feet. It's like trying to balance a house on a needle and not expecting the needle to go into the ground. If this guy had large, extremely dense muscles, then I'd be willing to say he could be a couple tons heavy? Which means that he wouldn't be able to walk on building floors for fear of falling through them, or on soft ground for fear of sinking like a brick in water.

One way to go around this is to have your race develop special boots for use on Earth that distributes his weight over a large area, like giant, techy snowshoes. (People use snowshoes to not fall through the snow, for the same reason that Limb would fall through the Earth.)

And your demo is incredibly messy. One second you're in an urban alleyway, next second it's surrounded by a forest? What? Other than that, my biggest gripes are the grammar, which I've already went through.


I really do like the idea of the character himself. A walking, organic tank of a guy. But you've put some of his things into the extremes, and that kinda ruins it. Hopefully I've helped.
Caelo
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Nov 10, 2014 3:54 PM #1267189
You know what? I like this guy. He reminds me of another character I used to rp with, and was always the antithesis to the speed I preferred.

I'd be interested in battling him, if you'd so like, Bronze. c:
Chamel
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Nov 10, 2014 5:58 PM #1267221
Along with what Waffles said about the weight, I would like to add in the fact that you said the cannon was heavier than he is. A cannon, able to be carried, that weighs more than a skyscraper? Hmm...Might need to tone that down some. But good job balancing it with making him considerably slower while wielding it.

And on the whole "Resistance to impact" topic, does it mean he can survive a lengthy fall, falling objects, or as Delor put it, punches? Go into more description of his abilities, that way everyone (even you my friend) can get a better grasp of the character.

Waffles and Delor took care of the big things. I just want to add that you might want to put long paragraphs into spoilers so as not to make it look messy. To make a spoiler, type in:

Spoiler (Click to Show)
nside the spoiler.[/spoiler*]

Just remove the asterisk (*) and ir should create a spoiler.

Can't wait to see more from ya! :)
Azure
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Nov 10, 2014 9:04 PM #1267277
So, I won't really go into much details, since it's been covered. However, there is one detail that nobody else seemed to cover that I'm curious about: what is the actual strength and speed of his laser gun, and how frequently does he use it in comparison to his cannon? I see it taking out a helicopter in the demo, but he just puts it away. Is he always carrying it and his cannon? Is he slowed when not using the Cannon? I mean, I have to ask if it's just constantly around, hanging on his back or whatnot. He does still seem interesting though.
Malacal
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Nov 11, 2014 2:09 AM #1267407
Is this dude an Irish alien? That's the impression I'm getting.
Anyways, your guy is significantly on the overpowered spectrum due to the whole black holes deal. Tone down the weight by... a lot. Maybe not just 10 G like Waffle suggests, but maybe 50 times and he is a really big guy for where he comes from. That would make him weigh two to four tons and make him not a planet-breaking object. Also, you say in your weaknesses that his defense is limited to concussive blows. Honestly though, if he can fall the distance he does in his demo, and just come out with a limp, he probably is pretty tough as far as his skin and bones go. I say that blades would hurt him significantly more but not just like a human. Also, I am dubious about that cannon. something heavier than him that he can just carry on his back? Unlikely, but I suppose it can pass, it's not unrealistic by any means to lift something significantly heavier than you.

Also, your abilities are vague and need more description. Give them detail like the weaknesses. For example, "He can take immense amounts of damage due to his body being sturdy from living on a planet with high gravity. He can often receive cars to the face as a human would with a fist." It grants us more freedom in a way, allowing us to understand and think of crazy/epic scenarios. When we can get a feel for your character it allows us to write better, you can't very well make a biography on Abe Lincoln just knowing he got assassinated and freed southern slaves.

Also, once you get this fixed up, I would love to challenge you. Both of our characters are aliens, so I think it could be oddly fitting.
Bronze
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Nov 11, 2014 8:32 AM #1267575
So what I'm getting mostly is to add more detail, which I will TOTALLY do, no worries necessary. :D
The grammar... Hey guys, would I be breaking the rules if I get a reviser to help me in battles? XD
I was honestly starting to rethink his weight, the weight of his cannon, and his home world in general myself a couple minutes after I posted the thread. XD I'll try my best to balance that into realistic terms. :p
I'll fix other details as well.
With that said I have ONE FINAL QUESTION!
...How do you make spoilers?
acutelatios
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Nov 11, 2014 9:05 AM #1267579
[spoiler=]thing [/spoiler]


There you go~

Anyways, there's nothing wrong with getting someone to read over your work. That's allowed and as far as I know many writers also have beta readers to proof read their work. Not here per se, but other writers in general~

Anyways, he seems like an interesting guy, good luck~!
o w o