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Byron Young - "The Human Machine"

Started by: obamastealinmebike | Replies: 4 | Views: 1,185

obamastealinmebike
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Jan 11, 2015 9:28 AM #1293836
Name: Byron Young (Formerly Barack Osama)

Age : 27

Abilities:
Carries a empty double barrel sawed of shotgun, concealed .50 AE pistol, and a variety of grenades (also concealed)
Bionic Augments implanted throughout his body (they stick out of the back of his arms and calfs, but are concealed by his pants and shirt.) they grant :
Is strong enough to lift 2000 pounds.
Can run up to 40mph
Can accelerate his running extremely quick.
Faster reaction times. (ex seeing a man starting to pull down on the trigger when in normal perception you wouldn't be able to see him pulling down on it)
Control of his own neural system
Can store electricity making contact on his body to power up his augments (they can get overloaded and release a shockwave most likely critically damaging byron
Thermal radar that can locate up to 2500 feet.

Weaknesses:
His body is completely human other than the metal in some part of his limbs.
Can have trouble against blades and ranged weaponry because he doesn't have a special form of defense against them.
Has PTSD caused by murder of his family.

(Click to Show)


Personality:
Though he acted quite rash before his family was destroyed, roaming the streets for months taught him how to be calm and smart.
He is now a calm person with a short temper. He will only kill if his life is threatened. If PTSD is triggered, he will go into an extremely
enraged state while muttering crazy and random words, usually of memories with his family.

Appearance:
Light tan skin color. Slicked up brown hair. Red checkered shirt with hidden padded kevlar underneath (can withstand up to 9mm.) a white undershirt with sleeves going to his wrist.
black pants and brown boat shoes. One brown eye and one blue eye.

(Click to Show)

Battles:none

Points: 0/0/0/0

its 296 words but close enough
Crank
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Jan 11, 2015 5:55 PM #1293974
First off, welcome to the Writer's Lounge!

Second, just to be clear, are you aware that Osama is also a super well known name, besides being a letter away from Obama? If so, then alright then.

Second, could you please add a lot more details to this? When people are writing, or reading for that matter, they need a lot more details to make sense of what's trying to be conveyed.

Define super strength.
Define increased speed.
Define his reaction time.
Who's neural systems, and to what extent?
How resistant is he to electricity?
How does his radar work/what is it's range?
If he has biotic implants, does he still look human or does it affect his outside appearance?
Why does he have trouble against ranged weaponry and blades specifically?
Considering PTSD can cause flashbacks, what caused it?
Similarly, does it have any triggers for him?
Calm and short tempered seem to clash, can you be more specific with his personality?
What memories? How (define why they're) crazy and random?

Truthfully, I think you have a lot of work ahead of you before your guy's ready to go.
obamastealinmebike
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Jan 11, 2015 8:29 PM #1294021
thanks man, i'll add some detail
Malacal
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Jan 13, 2015 3:55 AM #1294606
Being Human: Not a weakness
Inefficient Defense against blades and ranged weaponry: Less a weakness and more a lack of an ability.
PTSD: Definitely a weakness

Really, we ought to define what a weakness is one of these days.
Caelo
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Jan 13, 2015 3:37 PM #1294829
Eh, I like him. Reminds me of Halo gone horribly wrong in a way. Or right, maybe?

Either way, I suppose you could consider this a challenge from me and Kodi for now, if you're interested.
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