oying the warmth of the midday sun. It had been a few months since I met Nhaleet, and I was almost surprised the boy had stayed this long given his previous nomad way of life. He’s adjusted well to living under my roof, and sometimes even ventures into town. I enjoyed having him around, despite having to scold him occasionally. It was a nice change from being alone most of the time.

Hearing the door open, I peeked over the edge. Nhaleet had come outside, looking around as if he were searching for something.

“Looking for me?” I called down, waving my hand. The boy looked up and gestured for me to come down.
“We need to talk.” I nodded and swung myself over the edge, giving my wings a flap when I was near the ground to slow my descent.
“What’s up?” Nhaleet hesitated, looking at the ground.
“I… I think it’s time I leave.”
“Mind if I ask why?” I inquired as I crossed my arms.
“I just don’t want to stay in one place for too long.” Remembering what had happened when I first met the kid, I nodded.
“Understandable. But before you leave…” I took a few steps and gestured for Nhaleet to follow, then began walking. “I think I could teach you a thing or two in combat.” I glanced at the boy, who seemed somewhat curious. “Don’t get me wrong, you fight well. But you’re also a bit… fragile.” I sensed a bit of anger radiate from Nhaleet.
“Are you saying I’m weak?”
“Oh, no no no, not at all. You’re just, well… You’re not the person who should take a lot of hits. Especially from opponents much stronger than you.” At first the pale figure scowled in offense, then nodded in agreement.
“Yeah, I guess that’s true.”
“Good to hear.” I smiled as I stopped. “Now, I’m sure you’re familiar with the term ‘sparring’?” Nhaleet went wide-eyed.
“You want me to fight you?” I nodded.
“And not to hold back. Any weapons are permitted.” The boy shook his head.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ve been through worse, remember?”
“Yeah…” The boy sighed. “Alright, but first...” Nhaleet pulled out a small compact pistol and tossed it aside. “That’s one weapon I’m not willing to use against you.” I nodded and backed away, allowing my pale friend to strip himself of his colorful outer clothing to reveal the mottled grey uniform underneath. He then assumed a fighting stance.
”I’ll mainly focus on redirecting and deflecting attacks. Keep your eyes open for something useful. This will help you to be more observant. Despite your ability, you can still be caught off guard. You can also use your opponent’s maneuvers against them, or use them yourself later.” My friend nodded. ”Your move.”
Nhaleet circled me. I could tell the boy was calculating where and how to attack. I simply stood there, waiting for the first move. The attack came in the form of a rush, which turned into a roundhouse kick for the head. I ducked to the side, grabbing the boy’s ankle and tossing him. He rolled and jumped back up. He ran at me again, this time swinging a fist. I blocked the attack and delivered my own to the teen’s chest, causing him to slide back. Nhaleet fell to his knee, coughing and holding his chest. I approached him.
“Are you OK? I didn’t hit you too hard, did-” I was interrupted by an unexpected leg sweep. I crashed to the ground, and the boy placed his foot on my chest. I grinned. “Well done.” I received a satisfied smile from the boy. That’s not going to last long. I wrapped my tail around Nhaleet’s ankle and pulled it out from underneath him, causing him to fall. I then jumped to my feet and clamped my foot on the boy’s chest.
“Hey, that’s not fair!” he protested.
“You of all people should know that the enemy won’t always fight fair.” Nhaleet humphed.
“You got that right.” He threw dirt into my face and I stepped back, trying to rub the earth from my eyes. I felt a blow to my chest, then to my stomach. I held my ground, and keeping my eyes closed, I sniffed the air. I sensed movement to the left and heard a step. I followed it with a fist and hit my target, then followed in with a side kick. I followed the stumbling steps and swung my tail in their direction. Again I hit my target, but this time Nhaleet countered by grabbing it. I felt him try to pull me, but I gripped the ground with my feet. For a moment we had a little game of tug-of-war with my tail.
I wrapped the end around part of Nhaleet’s arm and yanked him towards me, my hand out ready to catch him. I caught him around what felt like the collar of his uniform. I decided to open my eyes, and blinked a couple times to help clear my vision. I looked at the boy in my hand.
“Even when I’m at a disadvantage, you still can’t seem to take me on. Honestly, I’m disappointed. I was expecting so much more from you.” I guess Nhaleet took that the wrong way. A scoul washed over his face, and he pulled out one of his kamas and attempted to slice my arm. I released him to avoid the blade. I know I said weapons were allowed, but I didn’t expect him to actually use them. I definitely didn’t expect him to try and wound me purposefully.
I summoned one of my swords into my hand and gave it a few twirls, then gestured for him to come at me. He quickly obliged, drawing his other kama as he lunged at me. He did a sort of spinning leap, his small scythes out to slash. I raised my golden blade, blocking the attack. He did another spin. I blocked the first kama, but the other slipped passed and nearly took off my hand. I dropped my weapon and clutched my wrist with an agonized growl. Before I could do anything Nhaleet gave me a kick to the chest, and while I was off balance he did another leg sweep. I tried balancing myself with my tail, but I ended up on the ground anyway. I rolled out of the way of Nhaleet’s foot and kicked it out from under him. While he was regaining his balance I got up and retrieved my sword. Nhaleet stared at me, probably trying to predict what I would do next. Then he rushed at me and took a step to the left. Expecting him to leap at me from an angle, I stepped to the left as well to dodge, but I was mistaken. He came straight at me and thrust his small scythe forward. I used my blade to block it, and I kicked him away. This was just supposed to be a sparring match, but it has turned into something else.
Nhaleet circled me again as I flipped my sword into a backwards position. I could see something in his eyes. Desperation. Determination. Anger. He was set on beating me all because of a few words. I frowned. This kid had a bit of a short temper, and I know from experience that can lead you into a bad spot. I think it’s time he learned that too.
He came at me again, the sunlight glinting off the blade as he struck in a downward sweep. I ducked, and as he swung at me again I flipped over him. As I felt my feet come into contact with the ground I turned. Nhaleet had already begun to rotate, holding the blade backwards. He was faster than I expected. I raised my arm to block it and felt a sting. I then grabbed his arm, spun around, and elbowed him in the clavicle. I grabbed his collar as I placed the edge of my sword at his throat. I held him there for a minute.
“You, young man,” I tapped the hilt against his chest, “need to control that temper.”
“You-”
“I apologize if what I said offended you. It was unintentional. Even so...” I let him go, “a fool is quick-tempered, but a wise person stays calm when insulted.” I looked down at my arm. His kama had slipped between my scales to the flesh underneath. Blood dripped from the wound, along with my sliced wrist. Something hard smacked the side of my head, and I blacked out.

When I came to my senses, I found myself holding Nhaleet in the air by his throat, hot smoke rising from my nostrils. His clothing was scorched and torn in various places, most revealing red underneath. I released him from my grip and stepped back as I felt my horns retract. The boy’s unexpected blow had made my instincts kick in, and I had gone into my Feral State.
“Nhaleet, I’m sorry, I didn’t…” He rubbed his neck and looked up at me. I avoided his eyes and looked at the ground, taking a few more steps back. “I’m so sorry.” I turned and flew off, back to my home. I landed in the back yard and made my way to a ring of trees. They were red Japanese maples, and in the center of the circle was a crescent-shaped pond, a weeping willow sitting at the center of the inner curve. It was a place I used to meditate and think, and to find peace. I sat down, bringing my knees up to my chest and curling my tail around me. I closed my eyes. I could have killed him. I sat there for a while, that thought repeating itself in my head. With a sigh I opened my eyes, and observed the koi fish. I recalled what my father had said a few days ago when I’d summoned him to discuss my condition.

You’ll never have full control.

“Draco...” I peered up at Nhaleet, who was back in his colorful clothing, then looked back down.
“What are you doing back here?” I asked nonchalantly. I still avoided his eyes, afraid of what I’d see in them. The boy placed a hand on my shoulder.

“I thought you could use a friend.” I looked up to see him giving me a kind smile. I half-heartedly returned it before looking back down.

“I’m so sorry. I never meant to-” Nhaleet moved his hand from my shoulder to his hip.

“Hey, it’s alright. It was my fault. I shouldn’t have attacked you like that.”

“Yes, but it’s my fault for not having control over it.” For a moment he was silent.

“I suppose that’s true…” he finally said, sitting next to me. After another moment of silence he gave me a playful punch on the arm. “Hey, how about we go inside? We can get patched up, and maybe have one last meal together before I leave?” A sting rang up my arm, as if to remind me of my bleeding wounds.

“Alright.”


A couple of hours later, I walked outside with Nhaleet. I nudged him with my elbow and gave him a small backpack.

“Some food for the road. There’s a few other supplies in there too.” He slung the pack over his shoulder.

“Thanks.” He glanced at the setting sun, then at the dirt road. “Well, guess this is goodbye.”

“Not goodbye. Just until next time.” He looked up at me with a grin, but that quickly faded. “Hey.” He looked at me as I grabbed his shoulder and gave him a gentle shake. “You’ll always have a home here. Don’t forget it.” The boy smiled.

“How could I?” I smiled back as I let him go. He turned, took a couple steps, then turned back. “Draco?”

“Yes?”

“Thanks. For everything.” I gave him a nod, and he began walking away again.

“And try to stay out of trouble.” He looked at me over his shoulder with a grin.

“Can’t make any promises,” he replied with a shrug. As he left, the setting sun turned him into a silhouette. I watched him leave until he was out of sight, then turned with a sigh and went back inside. I’m going to miss that kid.[/spoiler]

[spoiler=iarentevil (Nhaleet)].....Nhaleet sat on the roof of the house around noon, pondering his next move. It wasn’t his house, but rather a draconian’s, aptly named Draco. The clone didn’t mind spending time with his friend, but he was starting to get a little bored while cooped up in the house, rarely let out because of those that would hunt him down. And that thought gave him an idea. What if he were to attack them head on? What if he wanted to bring the fight back to them?

.....Mind made up, he decided he was going to do it. He would fight them, or die. A life spent in fear was not equal to a life spent free, and how could he prove to the world that he was no lesser being, in spite of his cloning process? With this thought, Nhaleet realized that he wasn’t entirely sure as to what was right to do; he was just trying to rationalize himself into it.

.....The test subject pondered for a while, but still couldn’t figure out what to do. The moon started illuminating the forest with its glow, so he dropped softly off the roof into the grass surrounding the small house and walked inside.

.....It wasn’t a large house, only a couple bedrooms, a bathroom, a main room and a kitchen. The inside of the house was much more cheerful than the outside, mostly due to the light smell of freshly brewed tea that was always in the air. Nhaleet had never had tea before he moved here, but now he was addicted to the stuff.
There was someone on the couch in the main room drinking some of the freshly brewed tea. Draco is six and a half feet tall with blue scales. He has wings sprouting from his back and he has a tail growing as well. The draconian has four claws instead of five fingers and a sharp row of teeth, with a pair of incurving horns on his head. At the base of his skull his spine extends out and down his back, extending along his tail which was wrapped up at the base of the couch, lying on the wooden floors. Draco’s feet are like a bird’s. His eyes are aqua green, and a red gem implanted in his skin sat in between and above them.

.....“Hello”, Draco greeted the clone.

.....“Mmh… hello…” Nhaleet responded, distracted by his thoughts.

.....“Are you okay? Something seems to be bothering you.” Draco looked at the boy quizzically.

.....“Yeah, I was just wondering… well, what my next move was.” Nhaleet answered, staring off into space.

.....“Thinking about the future? Not like that is anything new. What is it this time?” Draco had a blank look on his face, betraying no emotion.

.....Nhaleet glanced at Draco, trying to find the right words for what he wanted to say next. He settled on “I want to go back, I want to destroy them.”

.....“Why is that? Why do you want to destroy them?” The response was curious, neither malicious or excited.

.....“Because, what they do is wrong, it’s evil. They don’t view their subjects as people, only numbers to be destroyed when the results come in. It isn’t science; it’s homicide with a bonus.” Nhaleet was getting angry even talking about it. His face was starting to get red and steam was practically flowing out from his ears.

.....“Let me guess, you’re going with or without me, right?” Draco let out an exasperated sigh. “Not much I can do for it then, I can’t go letting you die so soon after I saved you, can I?”

.....Nhaleet grinned at his friend “Well you could if you really wanted to, but I don’t think that’s the case. It’s right up your alleyway though, protecting the innocent and whatnot right?”

.....“We both know that you want to protect them just as much as I do” Draco sighed again “However, you also have a different motive, Revenge.”

.....“Maybe a li

I like iarenevil's idea of busting through the research facility with draco and burning everything with fire and explosions. I enjoyed reading it until the ending. Draco died... just like that? even so, I enjoyed it.

As for GeneratorRexDragon's part, to be honest, I thought that this will just be a linear sparring match but it turned out pretty interesting. And that tear jerking scene of Nhaleet saying goodbye is just so... tear jerking lol.

I enjoyed both of it but my vote goes to GeneratorRexDragon

Quote from Kazumi

I like iarenevil's idea of busting through the research facility with draco and burning everything with fire and explosions. I enjoyed reading it until the ending. Draco died... just like that? even so, I enjoyed it.

It was supposed to be sudden, to show nhaleet's blindness to the event. He didn't notice that his best friend had died because of his anger.

Oh god, I can't take it. Someone finish where I left off. I honestly tried to finish it but I just gave up.


My original disclaimer applies as before: Unless you want to defend yourself, do not answer my questions. Answer them for yourself.

Quote from iarentevil

.....Nhaleet sat on the roof of the house around noon, pondering his next move. It wasn’t his house, but rather a draconian’s, aptly named Draco. The clone didn’t mind spending time with his friend, but he was starting to get a little bored while cooped up in the house, rarely let out because of those that would hunt him down. And that thought gave him an idea. What if he were to attack them head on? What if he wanted to bring the fight back to them?

Your pronouns are fucking everywhere. You are using the same pronoun to describe 2 people and then you screw it up by the end. Who is the he that is cooped up in the house: Nhaleet or the Friend? Is the Friend, Draco? Because if he is we never know that. It might be a 3rd person who happens to be staying at Dracos. Who is 'them' all of a sudden? I thought there were only 2-3 people in this house.

Quote from iarentevil

.....The moon started illuminating the forest with its glow

So the moon was just unplugged this whole time?

Quote from iarentevil

.....The inside of the house was much more cheerful than the outside, mostly due to the light smell of freshly brewed tea that was always in the air. Nhaleet had never had tea before he moved here, but now he was addicted to the stuff.

If the tea is freshly-brewed, how is it always in the air. And how is freshly-brewed tea suppose to be cheerful? He's addicted to it, so what? Also from the way the sentences are structured, it seems that the addiction has nothing to do with the cheerful environment.

Quote from iarentevil

There was someone on the couch in the main room drinking some of the freshly brewed tea.

Call it a den. A living room. A rumpus room. A tv room. A sitting room. ANYTHING but a main room. Wtf is a main room.

Quote from iarentevil

Draco is a hottie ~<3

There was really no reason to describe Draco, because they seem to be well-acquainted so he already knows what he looks like. Describing a character for no other context than forced exposition is stupid.

Quote from iarentevil

.....“Yeah, I was just wondering… well, what my next move was.” Nhaleet answered, staring off into space.

.....“Thinking about the future? Not like that is anything new. What is it this time?” Draco had a blank look on his face, betraying no emotion.

LOL. Feel free to imagine this scene right now. Go ahead. Nhaleet is being a retard not making eye contact. Draco is being a retard not reacting. This is a puppet show; their talking but not looking at each other in any way. Maybe the picture worked so well in your anime-addled head, but if 2 emotionless retards are going to converse with each other like this, then maybe you should just have them skype each other instead.

Quote from iarentevil

.....“Why is that? Why do you want to destroy them?” The response was curious, neither malicious or excited.

How is a response, curious? How is it malicious? How is it excited? See, you're telling us the way of speech instead of describing how he raises his eyebrow, how a matter-of-factly plainly stated his words were, or how he might have squinted if not for his stern disposition. These are the things we Show people to let them know our characters are curious.

Quote from iarentevil

.....“Because, what they do is wrong, it’s evil.

Because something wrong can't be evil?

Quote from iarentevil

They don’t view their subjects as people, only numbers to be destroyed when the results come in.

How are numbers, destroyed exactly?

Quote from iarentevil

His face was starting to get red and steam was practically flowing out from his ears.

This is so humorous. What he's suddenly like a cartoon character now? All the serious tone is now gone, defused by this zany characterization.

Quote from iarentevil

.....Nhaleet grinned at his friend “Well you could if you really wanted to, but I don’t think that’s the case. It’s right up your alleyway though, protecting the innocent and whatnot right?”

I thought he was "steaming", srs, mad. Why is he being playful friendly, now?

Quote from iarentevil

.....“Maybe a little bit, but it really will help those stuck inside” Nhaleet said with a grim expression.

Why would he be grim about talking about the prisoners. Does he wanna rescue them or not? It's like he doesn't fucking care and maybe he really doesn't and just wants revenge, but he's a genius. He should know how to hide these things well.

Quote from iarentevil

.....Draco squeezed the bridge of his nose with his fingers, “Well, what’s the plan?”

With his fingers as opposed to what?

Quote from iarentevil

..... Draco chuckled, “Rawr”.

Try chuckling with "Rawr". Go ahead. You can't do it.

Fun battle to read, my vote will be going out to G.R.Dragon though.

I enjoyed readin the battles, the simple writing and simple story are fun to read from time to time ^^. Dragon's getting my vote because while Iarentevil's piece was on a similar level, it was much much less of a battle, and much more of some standalone work describing how Nhaleet tries to wrap up loose ends but fails, really, I'm not seeing the "vs" part :).

As for feedback, I'm not the best person to give you substantial feedback right now since I really don't have the time to go through your works as thoroughly as Hewitt (or any of the others) do right now, but theirs is much better anyways so yeah. Just don't let their... /critical attitude/ put you down, they're just pointing out the flaws, and if you really wanna improve then just take it as it comes and try to learn from it however "mean" it may seem, it doesn't all need to be sugar and sunshine when you're aiming to become the best ;).

Feel free to dispute if any. I'm open for discussion

and i dont CNC anything that's not posted here so tough luck to the other guy

Wait. Draco's stuff... wouldn't it translate the BB Code into the forum from Drive? Just paste it into the spoiler, that would make reading it much easier.

I do wonder, why do people seem to have so much issues with google docs? Like, I don't mind it, in fact, I love it :I

I love it. I just cant view them 90% of the time im on this forum

LOL That's what I told him.

I may use google docs for writing but I'd always post the raw versions in spoilers, like with my previous battle.