Rats! Rats have taken over your home?!?! What now?

1st Strategy: My house is literally within ten or so paces away from a security gate, and it's inside an air base (military bases in the Philippines have residential areas). I can just tell the nearest guard about my problem and hope they'll scramble resources on a crazy infestation. Because when the rats do go away, where would they leave to? Around the base, of course. The only hitch so far I can see so far is that this is the air force, not the marines and the base is geared more towards administrative and logistical work than dealing with equipment to fight back with.

2nd Strategy: My father is a general in the air force, if I ask very nicely to the personnel I could pull in some favors to keep me around(although paying them back in kindness is going to be tricky)

3rd Strategy: Same as above, but this time with my IRL friends and family. I could just stay in one of my relative's houses, but contacting them is a problem (since I don't have my phone with me) and their houses are so far away from me.

4th Strategy: Go to my college (it's a single floor in a building) and settle there due to an emergency. It's really comfy, there's wifi and no shortage of company (during the day). Food isn't served in the cafeteria on weekends and night time is terrifying because the entire campus is desolated when it closes (even the janitors and guards leave). I'll probably sleep in some small place where I wouldn't notice the surroundings and I'll have frequent insomnia since I have difficulty sleeping alone.

5th Strategy: Loiter. I'm not the sort who would get dirty from just slacking off so I'll probably be fine when it comes to hygiene provided that I stay away from the rain. $25 is just enough (when converted to pesos) to get by eating really cheap meals. Curfew is a pain though.

6th Strategy: Fight back. Feed them tainted meat or something and set the house on fire if I have to (since they'll gnaw everything away anyway). Most likely I'll die trying.

17th Strategy: Blood Pact with supernatural forces. Maybe Scarecrow can pick up my resonant anguish through spirit echoes or something although I don't know how he'll help.

Give Up: Commit Shamefur Discharge™ because my laptop's in the house and it just got eviscerated with the horde of man-sized Relentless Rats. Everything I invested in got chewed to bits along with whoever were the poor schmucks that got stuck inside.

I'd videotape the rats and post it on youtube and collect the delicious viral revenue. Also dial 911 :o

I challenge the alpha rat to a deul with occupancy of my house at stake

I'd move in with Jutsu and travel to outer space

I'd fuck the rats

I'd make a party..we'd have lots of meat XD

Quote from Miracle

I'd fuck the rats

What the fuck?

Quote from Zero

What the fuck?

What the fuck the rats, yes, that's what he said

Well... This wasn't what I was expecting.

Rats are quite dumb. Also, I have a shitton of powdered rat poison. Simply sprinkle here and there on a bunch of meat, and voila.


But if they've already taken over, then... -grabs musical pipe-

B-but rats are so cute ;-;

Quote from Camila

B-but rats are so cute ;-;

So are bears until they maul you.

Quote from Camila

B-but rats are so cute ;-;

What about mice's?