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Zeke vs. Rage

Started by: roBEAT | Replies: 3 | Views: 1,011

roBEAT
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Nov 1, 2015 5:29 PM #1412626
Heyho. TheChosenGamer wanted an opponent so I challenged him. The deadline was Saturday the 31. (yesterday)

Problem is, I didn't get my part ready in time (I'm way too good at procrastinating but I chose to make a long introduction nontheless) but I've noted which part of my battle was written after the deadline. If you therefor feel like you have to ignore the existance of the part i wrote too late when it comes to voting feel free to do so.


But now to the interesting part. These are the combattants

Zeke by TheChosenGamer http://forums.stickpage.com/showthread.php?97502-Zeke-the-Project-Z

Rage by roBEAT http://forums.stickpage.com/showthread.php?96403-Rage-The-Great-Equalizer


and these are the battles:


First, my dear opponent's battle:

gdocs: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...euIhe70Rninlg/ (I couln't access it myself)

Spoiler (Click to Show)
t the pole and set foot to new land. The fresh scent of nature’s essence fill through his nose. The peaceful sound of the surrounding playfully rang on Zeke’s ear. He took a break under a great oak tree after his long journey. The sound of the river, rippling and streaming down the path tempted Zeke to took a sip. He went over and duck down to take a drink from the water, then saw a face reflecting on the blue surface. He turned around and saw a huge body towering over him. The shadow of the figure loomed over him. The figure pulled back his arms and punches Zeke. Thanks to Zeke’s quick reflexes, he is able to dodge the devastating hit that created a crater to where he just stood. He ran to the oak tree to grab his axe before the unknown attacker pounds him again.
As expected, he was being persuaded by the attacker whose eyes are shining red under the sunlight. Then, the attacker fired a red ball of energy from his arm. Zeke was able to block the shot by swinging his axe over to the attack. The axe fired three shots of green plasma and a smokescreen formed between the two fighters. As the smoke clears, a conversation started between the two.
“Who the hell are you?” asks Zeke.
“Hmph. How pathetic, you don’t know of the great RHG fighter, Rage.” his attacker answered.
“RHG? Like hell if I know that.” Zeke replied.
“I can tell you are not from here, nor are you my opponent, but I can always use a nice punching bag.” Rage said to him.
“Forgive me, but now that you’ve done it, I’m going to have to end it.” Zeke said.
Rage began to attack again. He rushed towards Zeke, pulling back his right arm for another destructive hit. Zeke did the same thing, holding his axe with his left arm.
*Foolish man, he doesn’t know the effect of my hit, even after he has seen it a while ago* Rage whispers to himself.
The two strike their arm towards the other, creating a shockwave that made even the trees sway. Blood came out of Zeke’s fist pouring over Rage’s.
“How does it feel?” said Rage, taunting Zeke.
Zeke didn’t reply, he just smiled the pain away. As Rage began to move again, he could not move his fist, it’s not even budging a bit.
“The heck!?” exclaimed Rage.
“What the hell is this?” he added.
“Any hit in a body is nothing if the inside is hard.” Zeke answered.
“If the inside is hard? So you’re ability is…” said Rage.
“Hardening my own blood.” Zeke interrupted.
Zeke saw the advantage and swung his axe towards Rage. Rage blocked with his left arm but it was no use. A huge plasma shot came out of the axe and burned Rage’s face. Zeke softened his blood and escaped from the grasp of his enemy. Rage blew the billowing smoke from his face away and stomped on the ground. The earth began to shake and the rivers became furious. Zeke kept his balance on the vibrating ground. He looked at Rage and saw a different face. The glow on Rage’s eyes was stronger than before.
“Now you’ve done it!” Rage shouted.
He went full speed to Zeke, unexpecting, Zeke took a blow on the chest. He was thrown back a few feet. Zeke spat out liquid blood due to the impact.
*Damn, I didn’t turn hard fast enough, but at least I avoided a critical hit, I would’ve died from that* he said silently with a long sigh.
He raised his head but Rage is already on him. Rage grabbed Zeke by the neck. He raised him up high on the air, his victim barely touching the ground.
“You’re dead.” Rage said to him.
His eyes were completely red, a light can be seen forming in the middle of Rage’s eyes. Zeke, seeing that his fate was sealed, had seen a vision in his eyes. In his vision, he saw a couple of men wearing lab coat, some were ! something on a computer, some were talking, some were drinking coffee. Faint but slightly clear, he saw what he thought to himself as his, Fathers.
“No, It can’t end like this.” Zeke’s resolve tried to overwhelm his death.
“Oh, so that’s your past.” Rage said to him.
“What, how did you…” Zeke tried to ask.
“I have the ability to read one’s mind, many can, actually, especially in the hellish world of RHG.” Rage answered.
“Unfortunately, you’re too weak to advance on the deeper depths of hell itself.” he added.
Rage started to fire a beam from his eyes, but was stopped when Zeke kicked Rage’s chin upward, being free from the strangle of Rage. Zeke dropped down and picked up his axe. Rage looked down on him with the beam continuously shooting to where he looks. Zeke blocked using his axe and the beam reflected back to Rage’s eyes.
“No! My eyes!” he said with a groan.
“If the RHG has the answer to my questions, then it wouldn’t hurt to join it, right?!” Zeke shouted.
Zeke took the opportunity of Rage’s blindness and decided to finish him off. Zeke swung his axe to Rage, throwing him back with the power of his plasma. He then ran towards Rage holding his axe on his right arm. Zeke swung randomly and furiously creating a huge smoke every time a shot hits Rage. Zeke then swung his axe upward sending Rage high up to the air. After that, he jumped up to Rage and the two were face to face for a few seconds.
“Any last words?” Zeke said to Rage.
“Welcome to the first level of the food chain, my friend.” Rage replied.
Zeke, swing his axe for the last time downward sending both of them falling at tremendous speed to the ground. As Zeke emerged from the smoke, he looked down to the fallen warrior, whose body was nearly split in half. Zeke stood next to the cold body, looking and realizing to what he has done.
“RHG.” the only word that came out of Zeke’s mouth.
A few minutes later, he began to walk again to the horizon, to the world of, RHG, leaving behind the grave of Rage, with a stick holding his gloves, to remember his legacy by.[/Spoiler]


and here's mine:

(Note: Thoughts are italized)

dropbox: https://www.dropbox.com/s/8jzqty1uqchwudx/The%20fight%20of%20the%20unwanted.docx?dl=0

[Spoiler= well you can probably guess what this is]
The fight of the unwanted

Stephen Nielsen looked around the meeting room although everything was as usual. The expensive parquet in the wide room was as clean as always and of course the view out of the glass front of the building was breath-taking, especially here on the 20th floor. Light colours and the fashionable style of the room would have made it a beautiful place if it weren’t for the photographs of bloody combat on its walls. One photograph for every Gladiator who died in an RHG-battle. Photographs like these would never disturb Stephen in any other place. He was the RHG Corporation’s Manager of gladiators and fights after all, a man of rank, success and more or less, more being his pay checks and less being his gambling addiction, a man of wealth. But in this room the bloody pictures had a threatening effect on the manager.

The only most important things in the room however were the meeting table in the middle of the room and the seven chairs around it. Five comfortable but ordinary chairs for the Managers of the RHG Corporation’s directorates, another one for the CEO’s deputy and finally a bigger and more impressive chair almost looking like a throne for the CEO himself. Additionally the arrangement of the chairs displayed the influence of everyone else. Stephen knew, the closer you sat to the CEO Nathan Wilde, a charismatic man but hard as steel inside, known to always wear fashionable dark suits and pierce you with his sharp grey-blue eyes, the more influent you were. He was the one responsible for the bloody photographs on the wall Stephen remembered. But even more threatening were all the cameras around the table. There was even a camera for every Manager filming the whole meeting for the CEO Wilde to watch it over and over. He kept everyone on a short leash.

Naturally the CEO’s throne-like Chair stood at the head of the table. The closest seats at the table’s sides were occupied by the CEO’s deputy and the Manager of finances. “A questionable choice,” thought Stephen.

After them the next two seats belonged to the Managers of the directorates that actually filled the Company’s accounts with money. Gladiators and fights, Stephen’s directorate on one hand and PR and Sales on the other. These two hands were made to work together, but Stephen knew he could never cooperate with this mean bastard Thomas Klint, who had to constantly disagree with Stephen and enjoyed nothing quite as much as criticising Stephen’s work. Right now it was going to be Klint’s turn to report on his directorate. Klint glanced at Stephen with that familiar approach of a grin Stephen hated that much. He knew this would be pointed against him again.

“Things are going fine for the most part,” Klint began. “Surveys turned out to be positive and the people love our new commentators. Most of our viewers are hyped for the big arena and the possibility to finally watch some fights live and 78 percent stated they’d trust the safety-dome between them and the fighters. Our advertisement Campaign was definitely successful making us sell more new merch than we ever sold from our old collections.”

“That’s mostly because of me. Leonico is the new star and I made him what he is. People like him for his personality. If I hadn’t paired him to as few deadly opponents as possible, he would never get you guys as much money as he does now.”

But of course Stephen did not interrupt Klint. He would get to talk about it soon enough in his own report. A smile sneaked on his face and made Klint look at him in bewilderment. He had to be about to start with his attack pretty soon. After a lot of bragging about his success which Stephen did not really listen to he finally had to begin with his directorate’s problems.

“And I’m going to be the one to blame.”

“However while so many people like what we’re doing there is a new wave of riot and boycotting against us. And it’s all just because of this new gladiator. This monstrosity, Rage. It’s said he murdered hundreds of people before he registered for our fights. He even caused a massacre with almost a hundred surviving witnesses. It’s no surprise the police was behind him. But still, someone had to accept him,” Klint accused.

“Well as you should know we made a deal with the law,” Stephen replied. “Rage isn’t treated as a human which is why they allowed us to use him as a gladiator as long as we make sure he’s no danger to any citizens. Right now he’s in a lonely house outside the city. The house is surrounded by a barbed wire fence and there are always at least two guards watching over him. Additionally Rage is wearing a GPS-tracker necklace and if he’d ever leave the house or get rid of the tracker a team of our agents has the command to immediately take him out. Just tell the people Rage is under control. That’s your task,” Stephen derisively added.

Klint managed to somehow express anger, arrogance and even surprise as if he couldn’t believe Stephen has been bold enough to speak up against him like this. “Did you even listen to what I just said,” he asked loudly as if Stephen was mentally disabled.

“The backbone of these protest groups are witnesses of the massacres and families and friends of the victims. Do you really believe they’d be satisfied with Rage being under control? No. They want nothing as much as justice to be done for the dead. What do you…”

Klint’s face was red in anger as he had to take a break from speaking before he went on a little slower: “What do you think they think about us preventing that? And don’t say everything would be fine for them if he died in a battle. They’re boycotting us and protesting against what we do in general. And they spread the message. Facebook is full with pictures of the massacred victims. Next to them they accuse us of protecting a monster. Some even call it company in murder and…”

Nathan Wilde slammed his hand loudly on the table. All eyes turned towards the boss and Klint fell silent due to the cold blue shimmer in the CEO’s eyes. Wilde didn’t need to scream into the silence, but instead spoke with a low but nonetheless cold voice. Only that he didn’t speak, he commanded. “Control your temper before we go on finding a solution,”

He eyed Stephen and his rival both the same. “For now I want to hear the other reports. We’ll skip your report for now Mr. Nielsen. Mr. Dillan, please continue.”

Carl Dillan was the Manager for law and security. His official job was to guarantee the obedience of the law in the corporation as well as the safety of events and to watch over the Gladiators. So Stephen had also contacted him as he needed the guards and the other stuff to make sure Rage wouldn’t cause any harm. But more important Dillan had to keep the corporation’s vest as white as possible no matter if that meant fighting in court, eliminating rampaging gladiators or letting people disappear in the middle of a night. He commanded over guards, agents, mercenaries and according to rumours even torturers and his position in the corporation was very special. While Dillan openly cooperated with the other managers he also got some secret orders directly from the CEO. He’d do anything, even send an agent to kill any manager if the CEO commanded it. But while he was that powerful he barely influenced the decisions at the meetings, just obeying orders instead.

The same thing apart from the attribute powerful could be said about Susan Lindon the manager of administration. She did not talk much and didn’t have a lot of influence on the meetings. She merely kept the wheels of bureaucracy running.

Dillon however had to report a safety issue concerning Zeke another new gladiator. Stephen remembered Zeke. He looked like a grotesque mixture of a dwarf and a demon with his red eyes, the burned face and his red cape on one hand and the little height and his axe that always remembered Stephen of Gimli from Lord of the Rings on the other hand. “He’s not short enough to actually be a dwarf, but I still think he’s missing a beard” Stephen almost giggled at that thought.

The issue Dillan was talking about has apparently been an attack. Zeke who had asked for some guards since there were people chasing him and even a powerful fighter like him needed some rest had been housed in a home similar to Rage, only that he was the one protected instead of protecting the people from him.

“It were about 15 attackers and they came at night with a black light truc
Urako

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Nov 2, 2015 3:47 AM #1412736
The only thing I have to say to you roBEAT is to watch your deadlines. It also seemed to lack a real conclusion or verification that Zeke died. Most gladiators can survive a punch to the face with a metal glove, but i'm assuming it finished him off.

As for ThChosenGamer. You're story was alright, but I spotted some grammatical errors.

As much bias aside as possible, I still vote for roBEAT. If he let you write after the deadline, you're good.
roBEAT
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Nov 3, 2015 4:39 PM #1413016
I made the mistake of assuming everyone knew Rage and his powers.

One is shooting a red projectile of energy and heat out of his palm. That's pretty much what happened next (indicated by the red glow). Zeke's blood hardening doesn't help against that. He's dead.

But yeah I shouldn't write such an "open" end especially when Rage hasn't used the ability in the same battle.
Malacal
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Nov 4, 2015 3:54 AM #1413115
Chosen:
I have one word of advice for you: Lower the dialog, or increase the words between them. Dialog should either be enhanced by words around it, enhance the words around, or both. Most of your story was about the same whether or not the dialog was read. The only thing that mattered was when Zeke decided to join the wRHG. The last thing you want are two people, standing like statues, trading useless words. It creates for poor flow, bad storytelling, and awkward reading. So, work on that and you'll be MUCH better.

roBEAT: You overused the word moloch a bit.
And both of you can take this advice: have real injuries. If you don't have the opponent weaken over time while they beat the shit out of each other, only the final hit matters, so why include anything but? The rest becomes filler at that point.
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