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Mirno

Started by: ustopable | Replies: 13 | Views: 1,630

ustopable
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Nov 19, 2015 3:37 AM #1416926
Name: Mirno
Age: 14
Gender: Male
Weapon: David the Bear Knight

Abilities:
-Puppet Control: he controls his stuffed toys like a puppet making it move like it was alive
-Field Craft: Using his energy he can craft stuffed toys (with weapons of course)
-Retrieve Energy: Salvage the energy he spent on field craft dissolving his finish product into energy

Weakness
-Controlling 5 or more stuffed toys makes him slow till he can't move from his location. If he ever need to dodge he need to release all of his toys
-Weak body basically not for physical battles
-Field Craft are rather slow to create depending on the size
-Crafting something that need a large amount of energy are unstable and makes Mirno exhausted
-He can't see, hear or speak using his dolls but he can still control it even if the toys he control is in another room.
-500m range limitation (Puppet Control)

Appearance
-Mirno have a black hair and brown eyes
-He wears a Dangeree and a white shirt

Personality
-He have a childish personality
-Very enthusiastic and optimistic
-When it comes to arguments about him he is always defensive
-Does not kill their foe unless if its necessary to stop him

Family
-Hiro (Father)
-Lucia (Mother)
-Kanone (Brother)
-Azurin (Sister)
-Haku (Older Brother)

Story
Story (Click to Show)


Demo:
Demo (Click to Show)


Battle: N/A

Points:
0/0/0/0
Chaotic Penguin
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Nov 20, 2015 1:20 AM #1417145
Hi, read over your wRHG. I'm not going to say much about the wRHG itself yet, but here's some rules you should probably read over first: Ruels

Bit of advice: make sure your character isn't a "toolbox". Basically, don't make it OP.
ustopable
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Nov 20, 2015 2:42 AM #1417172
Rule no. 4 but i know nothing about animating

Anyways if you're talking about my powers errrr ill fix it but my character is basically a swarm type and toys are weak as it can only carry knife and a single slice could kill the toys. For a moment ill think of a sollution for it
ErrorBlender
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Nov 20, 2015 5:29 AM #1417200
Quote from The Organization
Questions:


That's some pretty good questions, TheOrg.
The Organization
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Nov 20, 2015 5:48 AM #1417201
Quote from ErrorBlender
That's some pretty good questions, TheOrg.


So funny story, I pressed quick reply instead of go advanced, then when trying to ninja edit the post, my computer went into hibernation cause I had it unplugged. Then while charging it I went for pizza and then I forgot about the post...

Regarding your character, ustopable, you need to ask your self a couple of questions...seeing the updated post I see you have made some welcome changes...I only have one now: What is "energy"? It has many different definitions, and from a writing perspective have that as a major limitation alone isn't really sufficient? What is the penalty or cost of said energy use? Will Mirno become tired, unfocused, unconscious, etc...?
The issue is exacerbated when you have him gaining energy as well, again the same question, what do you define energy as?
Hewitt

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Nov 20, 2015 6:40 AM #1417203
I have an even simpler question.

Why is his dad Japanese, his mom not-Japanese, his siblings Japanese again, but his name is neither of those and looks like it was picked out of a trashy Fantasy novel?
ustopable
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Nov 20, 2015 7:41 AM #1417215
Quote from The Organization
Regarding your character, ustopable, you need to ask your self a couple of questions...seeing the updated post I see you have made some welcome changes...I only have one now: What is "energy"? It has many different definitions, and from a writing perspective have that as a major limitation alone isn't really sufficient? What is the penalty or cost of said energy use? Will Mirno become tired, unfocused, unconscious, etc...?
The issue is exacerbated when you have him gaining energy as well, again the same question, what do you define energy as?

Hmm sorry about that not explaining the energy
Well the energy im talking about is the amount of work one person can do well in other words he will be tired when creating something thus he does not create something enormous because it will lead to fatigue thus his energy won't restore unless he will retrieve the energy or he will eat something (well we get energy from food right)

Quote from Hewitt
I have an even simpler question.

Why is his dad Japanese, his mom not-Japanese, his siblings Japanese again, but his name is neither of those and looks like it was picked out of a trashy Fantasy novel?


They're not japanese well i found out that Hiro touka is a japanese name
Azurin its my classmate name yet her mother and father is pure Pilipino
Yes i admit Kanone is a different nation name but not Japanese its German meaning Cannon (I named it really for him but searching the meaning of these name found out it )
And Haku well i found out its a japanese name
Mirno is my imagination work nothing else (searched google and found out its a Bosnian Name)

Well every name here is my imagination work but upon creating this thread i found out the meaning of each name except for Azurin
There are many names here in the Philippines which i don't what it means like Bon, Azurin, Berlin, Meeka

Now i need an hour before my post is approved
The Organization
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Nov 20, 2015 5:11 PM #1417280
Mirno seems like a controller sort of type like a puppetmaster, so clearly he doesn't want to be where the action is.
What is the range of his control, how far can be from them? Does he have to see the toy to control it, or can he see through the toy if he was controlling it from another room. Can he speak through the toys?
I'm imagining a scenario, where he is pretending to be inside a costume like toy that he's controlling from far away, so the enemy wastes his time trying to attack a decoy that appears to be boss.

Also what can he build toys out of, Specifically, what does he need to make a toy?
Caelo
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Nov 20, 2015 11:18 PM #1417350
Considering dropping a battle challenge to get back into the flow.

Not sure yet.
roBEAT
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Nov 21, 2015 12:59 AM #1417370
I like the toy power. It's pretty cute and original. Your Character does have potential but there are some things I'll have to say:

There might be different levels of pacifism but as far as I'm concerned real pacifists don't participate in any violent actions at all. You could fight them and they wouldn't fight back.

They definitely wouldn't try to beat people into captivity or cripple them. Most pacifists believe into making the world better by disclaiming violence and spreading pacifism amongst others.
Also, "the people who fight": You had to imprison about at least 60 percent of the world population then. What about me for example? While I'm a overall peaceful guy, I do study Karate and I can't guarantee that I wouln't lash out under certain circumstances. Would your Preventers come after me, beat me down and lock me up? Nice pacifism mate.


Also what time does your character come from? On one side you got a raider raiding villages with a sword on the other you got a global organization of pacifists.


Additionally, I fear I have to point out that it would be better if you either improved your english a little or take more time to create things like this character thread. If you don't things like this might happen:

-Does not kill their foe unless if its necessary to stop him
*his foe

Crafting something that need large energy are unstable and ready to explode and it makes Mirno exhausted
*Crafting something might consume a lot of energy and exhaust Mirno. The creation is unstable might explode.

-He have


However I do think your English is kind of ok so I wouldn't discourage you in writing wRHG-Battles. I'm not a native speaker and writing this battles helped me with my English so I guess it will also help you. Just keep in mind that you gotta improve since a decent level of English is necessary for any success in wRHG-Battles.


More stuff:
Abilities:
-Puppet Control: he controls his toys instead personally so he can think of a strategy to defeat the enemy
-Field Craft: Using his energy he can usually craft a anything but the bigger it is it need more energy
-Retrieve Energy: Salvage the energy he spent on field craft dissolving his finish product into energy


I assume you meant to say "instead of fighting personally" and go to the more important stuff. This is mainly clarification stuff since your character leaves out quite some questions.

he controls his toys

So what kind of toys does he have? It could even be adult toys for as much as we know. (Dumb thought in my brain: Perhaps I should make myself a new character called Nightdildo or something as fancy.)

Field Craft: So he can basicly create anything out of nothing but it would take a certain amount of energy based on how big (and complicated) it is. So how much does he need for a knife for example? As much as he'd need for smithing it? And how durable would that knife be? How long would it last? Also can Mirno faint or die from using too much? And can he create toys and use them

So there are three things you'll need to work on and you should definitely do 1 and 2 before going into a battle, but I'm sure you can do it:

1.Balancing: Creating anything is totally overpowered even on its own. I'd suggest changing it into the ability to create toys who can also fight for him.

2.Clarification: We certainly need more detailed information. Remember we can't look into your head. We don't know Mirno and his powers. It was kinda hard to figure out what Mirno was about which it should not.

3.English: Your basic Grammar mistakes will be annoying for the reader and not being able to understand what you are actually saying (I had to guess sometimes while reading this thread) is even more annoying. It's not unlikely that some people would just stop reading

Anyway, I wish you good luck on your wRHG battles.
Malacal
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Nov 21, 2015 3:44 AM #1417406
-Puppet Control: he controls his toys instead personally so he can think of a strategy to defeat the enemy
-Field Craft: Using his energy he can usually craft a anything but the bigger it is it need more energy
-Field Craft are rather slow to create depending on the size
-He wears a Dangeree

Literal sense none make these any and.
The Organization
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Nov 21, 2015 3:46 AM #1417407
Quote from Malacal
Literally none of these make sense.


You should change your name to Frank.
Malacal
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Nov 21, 2015 3:47 AM #1417409
Oh no, I've improved my choice of words now so the OP can understand me.
ustopable
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Nov 21, 2015 4:13 AM #1417416
Sorry i can't quote multiple replies at once in my phone
For The Organization
Yes he's a puppet master and his control won't cut off even when he's in another room but although he can control it in another room he can't see, hear or speak using dolls well he's range is about 1 km

For Caelo
Not yet i still need to balance my character

For roBEAT
Maybe ill change it into people who cause war (Since fights can happen anytime anyways)
Time well i planned it into Modern After War (Post War) well there are breakdown in the society so people are trying to get a better life while the others choose to live the easy way (stealing, marauding). The Preventers was created to capture and imprison people who are corrupt or people who kills except if its an accident
I have average grade on english but not so good at it (I played Final Fantasy War of The Lions and the dialogue its Old English) well
Gawd i didn't know that i forgot to write large amount of energy
Sorry about the personally but before i wrote the Puppet Control, i wrote there Animate Stuffed toy where he can give life to his inanimate stuffed toys then i added puppet control so he can personally control it thats why there is a word personally there but ill fix it later
Puppet Control: Ill changed into controlling stuffed toys
For the field craft yes he will faint but before that he will feel exhausted and later on fatigue before he can faint. Oh ill change the anything to battle stuffed toys and it is durable

Reduced range to 500m
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