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The Spirit of Adventure - Short Story

Started by: Shunpo | Replies: 4 | Views: 808

Shunpo
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Dec 23, 2015 12:45 AM #1424888
Hello!

I'm Shunpo, and this is my first post on the Stickpage Forum. So, here goes nothing, right?

So this is a little something that I whipped up last week. The short story is about adventure, or the spirit of adventure; what emotions it evokes; what it's meant to inspire within you. I dunno, it's not my best work, and I feel as though my writing is ponderous at times. I'll let you read and decide for yourselves. I'd appreciate it if you guys could take a look and provide some CnC. Cheers.

Story (Click to Show)


EDIT 1: Also, how do you add spoilers? I thought it was
Spoiler (Click to Show)
but it came out like that, and not with the expandable button.

EDIT 2: Fixed issue. Much appreciated Kamiroo.
Kamiroo Wolf
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Dec 23, 2015 12:49 AM #1424889
Spoiler (Click to Show)
! For the first bit only and the /spoiler

Edit: Phenomenal story, Shunpo! Wasn't section of it I didn't enjoy!
Shunpo
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Dec 23, 2015 9:44 AM #1424950
Thanks Kamiroo! Pleasantly surprised; you didn't find the story dragging at all?
ustopable
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Dec 23, 2015 12:11 PM #1424960
Spirit of Adventure kinda reminds me of....... Up
Anyways good story but i also didn't enjoy. The excitement and curiosity of adventure
Also Civilisation should be Civilization

Overall 4 Stars out of 5
Kamiroo Wolf
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Dec 23, 2015 4:42 PM #1424985
Quote from Shunpo
Thanks Kamiroo! Pleasantly surprised; you didn't find the story dragging at all?


I'm bad with constructive criticism, and I for one find vivid description(even if used too much as I often do) interesting no matter how much it drags on(Unless you've got, like, an entire paragraph describing a spot on someone's shoe, trying to force meaning into something completely insignificant to the rest of the story) but that's just me. Perhaps a more veteran writer's opinion would be more helpful if you're looking to improve, but I just really liked the story.
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