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Dezi[SorrowfulRage] Vs Levi[IgnusBurns]

Started by: SorrowfulRage | Replies: 7 | Views: 1,502

SorrowfulRage

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Jan 13, 2016 7:02 AM #1430339
Welcome [thread=98100]Levi Magnus Strider[/thread] and [thread=98144]Dezi(Dnais)[/thread] onto the battle field!
Vote fairly - CnC is most appreciated, but please don't be cruel to either of us. Still a little fresh here.
Ignus is on quite the spree here, diving into 3 battles in a row. Meanwhile - I've been spending most of my week in hospital. Quite unfortunate. Still, we did our best(I'm sure). Lets get on with it shall we?

Spoiler (Click to Show)
bandoned church, the afternoon sun baking his skin.

"Hello!" Dezi turned around, legs still dangling over the side. "I heard you're looking for a fight." Dezi looked him up and down. The person who had spoken was a short raggedy looking teen. "I'm pretty sure I got the guy, Dezi right?"

"Yes. You are... Levi. Levi Magnus Strider." Levi's eyes blinked behind his glasses, surprised that Dez knew his name and to hear a voice in his head.

"I guess you know me too."

"I take it as my business to know my competitors."

"They said you were possessed by a demon. Really now? Let me see that eye." Levi took a step closer, his fingers reaching out to pull away the cloth that covered Dezi's eye. In a flash, Levi had his arm pinned to his back, teetering near the edge of the roof. Levi chuckled, seeming to completely ignore the situation he was in.* Dezi raised an eyebrow, yellow flashing briefly over his tattoos in annoyance.

"Do not mess with the demon. It will not do well for either of us, and the outcome of your curiosity could be disastrous."

"Oh come on! Don't be so dramatic. Demon's don't exist." Dezi was silent for a long while, his tattoos pulsing a dark blue.

"I will give you that battle. Hopefully, nothing more. Will that satisfy you at least?" Levi grinned, brushing his blonde mess of hair out of his eyes with a free hand. His smile slipped from his face.

Levi shoved Dezi off and took a swipe at his feet. Dez jumped back but instantly took a hit in the gut. Levi swung at his face and Dezi barely managed to doge it. The time hunter's speed was shocking and Dezi had to move faster to keep up with the swift and unrelenting attacks. Smoke curled around Levi's fingers and shot forward, exploding and sending Dezi off the roof and crashing painfully into the ground below. Dezi stumbled to his feet, pink coloring his tattoos. He did not usually fight people with enhanced speed like him and it had him off balanced for a moment.

'Get back into the game.' Dez thought. He noticed a cloud moving toward him. It reformed into Levi mid-air who landed almost gracefully. He had a serious look about him as he launched himself at Dezi once again. Fingers gripped Levi's wrists and the half-demon used the time hunter's momentum to fling him into the wall. A knife slammed down, skimming the edge of Levi's shoulder and pinning his shirt to the wall. Blood seeped through the material as Dez wrapped his hands around Levi's throat.

Levi gasped and dissolved yet again into a cloud of smoke, slipping past Dez's hands and solidifying behind him, leaning against a wall for support as he caught his breath. Levi pulled Iracundia from it's place in the wall and Lacimosa from it's sheath. Levi noticed that Dezi's tattoos were switching between brown and a reddish-orange shade. Dezi threw a blade at him and Levi slowed down time, stepping out of the way and closer to Dez.
*Time sped up again and Levi pulled his kunai out. Metal crashed against metal, blades screeching against each other as both competitors' weapons came into contact. Levi pushed harder, flinging away one of Dezi's blades. Levi aimed for the half-demon's face but Dez pulled back and the tip of the kunai sliced Dezi's cheek and cloth. The cloth fell away, revealing the pulsing silver eye. Dezi opened his mouth and a faint scream echoed in Levi's head. He watched in fascination as the transformation took place. Dnais arched his back and stared into Levi's eyes.

"Strider. Levi Magnus Strider." Dnais hissed in the time hunter's head. Dnais slammed his horns into his opponent's head, stunning Levi and sending his vision into a swirl of blinding colors. Dnais locked his arm around Levi's and flipped him over, keeping him down with a knee on his shoulder. Levi's vision cleared and he yelled at the sight of wide lips heading straight for his neck. He struggled to keep away the demon with one hand and use the other to find and grasp the hilt of his kunai. Levi struck, missing Dnais as he jerked away. A smile spread across Nais's lips, stretching almost to his ears, tattoos glowing a menacing black.

"You are an interesting species Strider. You are too fast and strong to be an average human. Nevertheless,* I will destroy you quickly. You cannot compare to my superior speed and strength."

Levi ignored the jab and threw his kunai at Dnais's head. Dnais ducked, but the kunai moved as if though it had a mind of its own, cutting deep into his arms. He took a sharp intake of breath as he retreated back, allowing Dezi control again. Levi slammed a foot into Dezi's side, followed by a fist to the jaw. Dezi staggered backwards, attempting to regain his balance. Dark purple pulsed in his tattoos as he blocked an attack from Levi. He sent blasts of smoke at Dezi's arms, wings and sides, causing the half-demon to howl in agony and frustration.

Dezi blocked out everything else, closed his eyes and focused on the time hunter's brain. He weaved his way through small mental blocks and delved into his mind. Dez picked up several thoughts before his head knocked into a wall, eyes bursting open in pain. Levi threw an elbow at Dez's head but Dezi had already anticipated it from his short trip in Levi's brain. His hand shot up and caught Levi's arm mid-strike. Dezi twisted Levi around and pushed him down on the floor. Dez raised Iracundia over his head to deliver the finishing blow and Levi closed his eyes in defeat.

The blade landed with a thud, buried deep in the ground, missing Levi's head by centimeters. Levi pried his eyes open, staring at Dezi in confusion.

"You are a good man with good intentions. Even if you think you are unable to help, you have a purpose in the coming future that will change the tides of things to come. A time will come when we meet again. Until then..."

Dezi helped Levi up, slidding the kunai still in his arm, out of the wound and handed it to Levi. Dezi tore off a piece of his shirt and wrapped it tightly around his eye. As he returned to his human state, he turned around and walked off, leaving Levi standing alone. Levi gazed at the fading back of the half-demon, the sound of a bell still ringing faintly in his head.
*[/SPOILER]

[SPOILER=IgnusBurns-Levi]An Unlikely Encounter
The clouds had grown increasingly darker as the cloaked figure climbed the mountain. The sky steadily becoming pinker as the sun set behind the mountains.

The cloaked figure stopped his ascent up the incline, turning and looking towards the sunset. Pulling his hood down off his face, he sighed, then clenched his jaw, making his scar on his right cheek crinkle.

The sky turning pink in the distance, Levi looked down the mountain, where long, rolling plains stretched into the distance, meeting a city far off on the horizon.
So much better than the world I lived in… He thought. He frowned, and was suddenly met with a drop of rain on his nose.
Wiping it off, he pulled his hood over his face again, turning to continue his ascent up the mountain.

As he climbed and the rain came down heavier, several thoughts rushed through his head…
What am I doing here again?
Oh yeah… To stop the Precursors.
Too bad I overshot the correct time by a good 60 years…

He sighed again, then shook his head. “Well, at least I have some time to enjoy the world before it gets destroyed.” He said grimly.

Grabbing a cliff’s edge, he pulled himself up, the rain having soaked through his cloak by now and starting to soak into his clothes.
He looked up towards the clouds, squinting his eyes to see through his rain stained glasses.

Looking down a little, he noticed a cave a little farther up the face of the mountain. I’ll camp there for now… He thought to himself.
The rain was becoming tiresome though, and Levi, looking around to make sure no one was around, whispered, “Brain Freeze…”

The effects were baffling, and amazing…
The rain stopped falling, as in, it wasn’t moving anymore…
The clouds were still there, but all traces of the rain’s movement towards the ground had disappeared. It was now nothing more than a field of floating drops of water.

Levi strided towards the base of the cliff, taking out his remaining one kunai to help in his climb towards the cave. As he walked, the floating rain smacked into his face, but at least it wasn’t pouring anymore…

He reached the bottom of the cliff, and looked at his one kunai, “Damn Six, broke my other kunai…” He said angrily. He shook his head and sighed, grabbing the lowest indent in the cliff, beginning his climb.
About halfway up, his brain sparked, and the rain started to come down again, if not harder than before.
Suddenly, his hand slipped, and he found himself falling towards the hard ground.
Instinctively stabbing his kunai towards the stone wall, the weapon stabbing into the stone like butter, stopping his descent.

Hanging from the wet cliff, in his wet clothes, in his wet cloak, Levi felt pretty miserable… Soaking wet, no home, no family, nowhere to go… Except that cave… He thought reassuringly.

Grabbing a new handhold, Levi started climbing up the cliff again, using his kunai as a makeshift climbing grip, stabbing it into the stone every now and then to rest.
***
Climbing his way to the entrance of the cave, Levi walked into the cavern, looking around for any traces of human life.
Walking towards the back of the cave, he started to sense that someone besides him was in the cave.

He was right…
In the back of the cave, barely visible due to the tiny amount of light from the cavern’s entrance, was what he assumed was a young man in a black hoodie and a pair of jeans. Crouching in the corner of the cave, muttering to himself.
Curious, Levi acknowledged the individual, “Uh, Hello?” He asked.

The young man leaped to his feet and turned with blinding speed, looking at Levi. Allowing the Time Hunter to get a good look at him…

The first thing he noticed was the guy’s tattoos, which were along his cheeks and on his forehead. The thing that surprised him though, was that his tattoos, were glowing dark-orange.
His hood had fallen off when he jumped up, revealing two small but instantly noticeable red horns jutting from the side of his temple. His long raven black hair covered his left eye, his right eye was bright blue. Attached to his belt were strips of leather with sharp bone pieces attached, as well as two leather sheaths for what he assumed were daggers.
Levi tilted his head, intrigued, “Who are you?” he asked inquisitively.
The guy shook his head, then squinted his eyes, focusing hard.

Levi heard what he assumed was the guy’s voice inside his head. My name’s Dezi. What’s yours? He replied.
Levi bowed accordingly, grinning. “The name’s Levi, nice to meet you Dezi…”
He held his hand out, and Dezi took it reluctantly, shaking it slowly.

Retracting his hand, Levi stuck his both hands in his pockets. “So… What are you doing up in this mountain cave?” He asked.
Dezi squinted again, his words echoing in Levi’s head, Oh... I can’t really tell you that, even if I wanted to… He replied, the words sounding depressed in Levi’s head.
Tilting his head again, mouth curling into a slightly disappointed frown, Levi walked back towards the entrance to the cave.
Looking back out of the cavern, he saw the man-made lights of the city in the distance, illuminating the now dark night sky.
The moon was now rising behind the city’s skyscrapers, adding its light to the night sky as well.
Rain still came down hard, pounding the cavern’s entrance with droplets.
He sighed, taking in the view, pulling his cloak’s hood off.
Turning back into the cave, he sat in the middle, looking out at the rain.
Dezi’s voice spoke in his mind, You gonna sleep?
Levi nodded for him to see, “Yeah, you can too if you want…” He answered.
***
Before he would lie down to go to sleep, something splashed through the curtain of rain outside the cave. It was small, slim, and had a pin. Levi’s first thought was grenade, but this thing was far too slim to be one. His next thought was…

Flashbang…

The tactical grenade exploded, sending forth an ear-splitting sound and a blinding flash of light. Levi stumbled up from his sitting position, rubbing his eyes while also trying to plug his ears to stop the ringing in his ears.
He called out loud, “Dezi you all right?” Or at least he thought called out, no words seemed to come from his mouth, the ringing was draining everything else out.
But he got his answer though, in the form of a punch to the face…

The force from the blow sent him flying out of the cavern, he knew this because he felt himself falling for at least 5 seconds, then hit the muddy ground hard, with rain hitting the back of his head.
Staying down for what seemed like a minute, the ringing and blindness faded, and he got up unsteadily, his left wrist flaring with pain as he did. Broken, at least… he thought, holding his wrist still to keep it from moving.
Looking around, he saw nothing but the base of the cliff, with the cave at the top. Rain fell on his glasses, cleaning off the mud that had gotten on them. His cloak was covered in the mud as well.

However, something caught his eye, two humanoid forms, seemingly fleeing, were moving away from Levi around the edge of the cliff. It was too dark to make out their faces, and he was in no condition to give chase, whoever had punched him would probably be here any minute to finish him off.

His pursuer was like nothing he’d ever seen before, for his standards anyway…
Looking over his opponent, Levi’s lip curled in disgust.
It was Dezi alright, but he looked more like a demon than his regular self.
Two massive reptilian wings as big as Levi sprouted from his back. His once small horns had enlarged and turned into massive bull horns sprouting upward, his fingers had lengthened and sharpened into claws. Lizard like scales spanned the bridge of his nose, and his mouth had stretched to either ear, with two small but sharp fangs protruding from his bottom lip.

The demon landed on the muddy ground heavily, sending a splash of mud around him, and turned his eyes toward Levi. The bandages having fallen off his left eye left it exposed, letting Levi examine the bright blue eye that was examining him...

The demon tilted his head, his mouth twisting into a sick grin. “This is the only challenge the world can offer? How pitiful…” He stated maliciously.
Levi frowned in disgust. “Pitiful? Heh, and I thought we could have been friends…”
He grabbed and threw off his cloak, letting it steadily fall off the cliff behind him towards the rocks a hundred feet below.

Standing ready for a fight, Levi was surprised to hear Dezi’s voice speak in his head.
That flashbang forced him into control! You have to run Levi, he’ll kill you!!
Levi said out loud for both Dezi and the demon to hear, “I’m a lot harder to kill than I look…”
The demon laughed, “Then I’ll make sure you stay dead!”
With a leap, the demon attempted to smash him into the mud with an overhead swing.
Rolling to the side, Levi managed to dodge the blow, but just barely, the demon was almost as fast him. The punch sent mud splashing on both of them.
Faster than lightning, Levi kicked the demon in the face. Instead of staggering, the demon growled in rage and grabbe
IgnusBurns
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Jan 13, 2016 3:37 PM #1430411
Alright, as your opponent in this battle I'd like to CnC a few things. If you please...
What I got (Click to Show)
Kamiroo Wolf
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Jan 13, 2016 4:19 PM #1430416
Ok. Last feedback I typed was deleted. Anyway, my vote went to Ignus for a slightly better fight scene, description, and flow. Not that Sorrow's was bad, but I wasn't as engaged with his story as I was with Ignus'. I'm bad with CnC, but perhaps work on character introduction and development?
SorrowfulRage

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Jan 14, 2016 1:08 PM #1430596
Thanks for the feedback guys. Im still very ill so I won't be giving CnC for Ignus. Just to say I loved the way you portrayed everything. Good work
Haru
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Jan 14, 2016 1:14 PM #1430597
Ignus, you are a true rising star my friend.
I'll read these later and edit this post with CnC.
Dezi:
Yay (Click to Show)

Will do Ignus burns tommorrow.
IgnusBurns
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Jan 14, 2016 3:35 PM #1430612
Quote from Haru
Ignus, you are a true rising star my friend.
I'll read these later and edit this post with CnC.


What do you mean by "rising star"? I'm just doing my best! ;)
But yeah, like SorrowfulRage said, thanks for the feedback, and I hope you get better soon Sorrowful... :/
Vern
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Jan 17, 2016 1:32 AM #1431070
It's about time I get back in the game again. It's been a while, but I'll try my best to do a CnC for you both.

Dezi (Click to Show)


Levi (Click to Show)


Quote from Haru
Ignus, you are a true rising star my friend.


He probably just meant you're an active writer. No qualms there. Especially considering that he said he hasn't even read this battle to begin with.

Quote from Even more Harupleb
I'll read these later and edit this post with CnC.


Lol we'll see about that.
IgnusBurns
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Jan 17, 2016 3:58 AM #1431094
Thanks Vern, I really appreciate the CnC, and to answer one of your questions...
I made Levi shove him off the cliff and *cough* kill *cough* him to give him a reason to go after the figures who threw the flash bang in the first place. I don't know if to categorize that as lazy or bad writing, but Levi's the kind of guy who feels guilty about a lot of things, like the death of his parents, which wasn't even his fault.

He's not someone to let go of a death lightly, and Dezi effectively "dying" in front of him spurred his guilt and anger to go after the two people who threw the flashbang.
In truth, I killed off Dezi in my story because Levi has high standards, one of them being to not kill the innocent. Dezi was innocent, and Levi knew this. And so, he linked his death to not only himself, but to the people who threw the flashbang.

And lastly. I'm trying to evolve him as a character, one who, in the end, is relatively easy to understand and relate with.
The "Real" Truth (Click to Show)
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