Hiya deary~just a heads up in case that you didn't know, that double posting is against the rules. Usually I only look over double posting when it's the thread creator making edits to their thread, but that's not really the case here.

Anyways, please just simply edit your previous post with your CnC next time, instead of making a new one~

Thanks deary~
o w o

For future reference, you might wanna make voters visible in your future battles. Now, for CnC.

@Najenda, I was able to follow your story. Not bad, but there are grammatical/spelling errors as well as the issue of swapping between perspectives being unclear. A good way to fix this would be elaborating just whose eyes we're seeing from and/or separating bits of text where communication or perspective swaps take place. On top of this, you might also want to work on showing vs. telling(A problem I too struggle with these days). Showing is where you show us characteristics(such as "the veins were popping out of his forehead"), where telling is less effective and tells us what is happening in a much more basic manner(such as "he was angry"). I'm not too good with CnC, so hopefully someone can fill the gaps I missed, but good job nonetheless

@Shadowmirror, You have, essentially, the same issues(less so in terms of perspective), but there are times where your misunderstanding of past and present tenses and simple spelling mistakes impede the flow of your story