Yashiro

Started by: Najenda | Replies: 4 | Views: 1,570

Najenda
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Jul 3, 2016 1:36 AM #1453301
Name (Click to Show)



Nickname (Click to Show)



Age (Click to Show)



Gender (Click to Show)



Appearance (Click to Show)




Powers (Click to Show)





Skills (Click to Show)





Weaknesses (Click to Show)





Personality (Click to Show)





Story (Click to Show)





Allies (Click to Show)





Enemies (Click to Show)
[/spoiler]


Battles (Click to Show)



Demo (Click to Show)





Points (Click to Show)



Status : Available for fights.


Other than that, better the luck my friends...

~ Najenda ~
SJCRPV
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Jul 3, 2016 3:31 PM #1453333
I take it you're into King of Fighters?

Other than that, I recommend you use spoilers. It makes the thread much more pleasant to read. Like this:
Title of the Spoiler (Click to Show)


As for the character:
Quote from Najenda
Yashiro has white hair, and is a little smaller for his age group, and is also smaller than his brother, Game.

We do not know who Game is besides the fact that he's Yashiro's brother. Furthermore the average height of an age group depends on many different factors. So much so that the average height for a 18-24 year old in the United States is not the same as the average height for 18-24 year olds in Mexico.
As such, you actually don't provide enough information to us about how tall Yashiro is.

You also mention that Nikaido Konami (heh, I can't help but bring Jim Sterling's #FucKonami campaign to mind) is an ally, but provide no information in what form or what this person can do that would be of help to Yashiro (same applies to Game).

Actually, as I re-scan this for other things to mention, I find that lack of information is a problem all around.

Powers:
You explain what they are, but not how Yashiro uses them in combat. How he integrates them into his fighting.

Skills:
Ok, this can get a pass, but there's nothing wrong in explaining in more detail what his limitations are.

Weaknesses:
You, quite literally, just mention them in name. You don't explain how they affect Yashiro nor why they're weaknesses to begin with. Sure, "People who are faster than him" is self-explanatory, but besides that being a problem to anyone, which makes it an extremely vague weakness to have, as I mentioned, you don't explain how that impacts your character.
Dark Magic is even vaguer. Same criticism applies.

So yeah, what I'd like to take out of this is:
- Explain things in more detail. Try and read what you have from the perspective of someone who doesn't know jack about your character. This is supposed to be the page that introduces them to him/her/it.
- Please, use spoilers ^_^

One last thing: This is totally up to you, but a loss does not necessarily mean you have to switch characters. You can just make your side of the battle canon for your character's timeline, even if you lost. You just don't get the point to show in the Hall of Warriors : D
Najenda
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Jul 3, 2016 11:54 PM #1453363
Quote from SJCRPV
I take it you're into King of Fighters?

Other than that, I recommend you use spoilers. It makes the thread much more pleasant to read. Like this:
Title of the Spoiler (Click to Show)


As for the character:

We do not know who Game is besides the fact that he's Yashiro's brother. Furthermore the average height of an age group depends on many different factors. So much so that the average height for a 18-24 year old in the United States is not the same as the average height for 18-24 year olds in Mexico.
As such, you actually don't provide enough information to us about how tall Yashiro is.

You also mention that Nikaido Konami (heh, I can't help but bring Jim Sterling's #FucKonami campaign to mind) is an ally, but provide no information in what form or what this person can do that would be of help to Yashiro (same applies to Game).

Actually, as I re-scan this for other things to mention, I find that lack of information is a problem all around.

Powers:
You explain what they are, but not how Yashiro uses them in combat. How he integrates them into his fighting.

Skills:
Ok, this can get a pass, but there's nothing wrong in explaining in more detail what his limitations are.

Weaknesses:
You, quite literally, just mention them in name. You don't explain how they affect Yashiro nor why they're weaknesses to begin with. Sure, "People who are faster than him" is self-explanatory, but besides that being a problem to anyone, which makes it an extremely vague weakness to have, as I mentioned, you don't explain how that impacts your character.
Dark Magic is even vaguer. Same criticism applies.

So yeah, what I'd like to take out of this is:
- Explain things in more detail. Try and read what you have from the perspective of someone who doesn't know jack about your character. This is supposed to be the page that introduces them to him/her/it.
- Please, use spoilers ^_^

One last thing: This is totally up to you, but a loss does not necessarily mean you have to switch characters. You can just make your side of the battle canon for your character's timeline, even if you lost. You just don't get the point to show in the Hall of Warriors : D


Thanks for this. I have updated everything except for the specific power Hishouken, because that is self explanatory.

P.S. I HAD TO EDIT IT AGAIN BECAUSE I FORGOT TO SAVE, MYBAD VERN BECAUSE YOU MAY BE SAYING TO YOU'RESELF "SHE DIDN'T EDIT ANYTHING!" BUT I DID. Sorry for cappsing, I meant to do this to catch you're attention.

P.S. #2 : I have just edited this thread to include the NESTS Saga and the main characters.
Cassandra
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Jul 4, 2016 1:19 AM #1453367
Nice character Najenda!

May you do well in the future!
Najenda
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Jul 4, 2016 1:23 AM #1453368
Quote from Cassandra
Nice character Najenda!

May you do well in the future!


Thank you, Cassandra! ^_^

[edited] Ok, this is ridiculous.

So many people have seen and read my thread, but why is no one else replying on it?!

A'm I just that bad of a person?!