I am not one for CnC. I sadly have an untrained eye when it comes to seeing mistakes (unless blatantly obvious). However, I do know what I like. In every story I like content and characters, not so much fighting.

"But Saul, handsome and mythical sage that I want to aspire to be like, this is a battle literature section."
"You bet your hat it is Timmy."

I just simply enjoy a fleshed out character and story, rather than A and B come here and fight, poof, winner. Thus my decision was Ignus. While Sri had a compelling and absolutely action packed story with twists and details galore. Ignus had more character interaction and narrative, which is a personal favourite of mine.

I based my decision on personal reading preference. Not necessarily grammar and story structure. While I'm sure both had faults (read Crank above) it came down to story and characters, thus Ignus.

Ah, I'm glad to see this is getting some exposure!

Crank, thanks for the CnC, I usually try to go back through my own work to try and decipher my own mistakes, but I'm not very good at it. I've only ever criticized myself and this is the first time I've ever had a place where I could get feedback, so it's never been a possibility for me to have someone else read over my things. Nonetheless, I take this as an opportunity to upgrade and improve.

Even if I lose this, it was a lot of fun and it was a nice learning experience.