bin this plz

Damn. I think I fucked up again. Ah well.
UPDATE: welcome to the wonderfuckup known as my char. have a nice day!

Quote from 969_DoomsDruid_969

Damn. I think I fucked up again. Ah well.
UPDATE: welcome to the wonderfuckup known as my char. have a nice day!

Okay, the fact that you're admitting something is wrong means you know its overpowered. (And if you don't, i'm saying it is.) Don't take this the wrong way please i'm only doing this to help. If you want help making a character, there might be people around (Including myself when I have time) to help you get started. If you really want, I can give an in-depth overview on the mistakes and why they are mistakes or take you through a few character creation processes. But in the mean time, I'm happy to link you to Richard's character creation test and a few other sites I found.

The rules of course.

mary sue test

If you really want to start over or just look at basic balance archetypes, look through this and chooseone you like. Warning, i'm told the site is addictive so don't stray two more more pages from the page linked here! (nothing inappropriate I promise. It's safe in that regard.)

Here for weaknesses. Same warning as above.

If you only look at one of these links, look at Richard's character link.

In general, I have four pieces of advice to give you.

1# Look at the other characters in the character registry. Does your character have a reasonable chance of losing to them? Do other people think they have a reasonable chance that they could beat your character? If so, then your character is not OP. If not, then back to the drawing board.

2# You're character cannot be the master of everything. Make your character good at one thing. Or maybe moderately good at multiple things. Its best to have one core main ability and have other abilities be extensions or complementary to them. A few minor abilities are okay to tack on, but only a few and only minor ones such as extra stamina for example.

3# Weaknesses must not be something trivial that can be overridden or bypassed. A weakness needs to pose a serious threat to your character that could mean the difference between winning and losing. In theory, they should be almost or just as debilitating as your strengths are useful.

4# Ask yourself, (The author's motivation) "Why do I want my character to have this/act like this?" and (In universe) "Why does my character have this/fight like this?" before you add "this" to your character.

Remember, there is no rush for your character so take your time. Sure Azure could take down your character's thread, but once you have your new perfected character ready, nobody is going to stop you from posting it on a new thread.

*sighs
Back to square one with the everyone bullshitting me then.
#1. Yes. She has problems with virtually all of the alloys of iron (although, unlike pure iron, they do not burn her. Said burn would kill her in no time at all, so that isn't a thing).
#2. Has literally one actual ability. The other stuff is just a benefit of being fae.
#3. Almost none of her weaknesses can be bypassed except the one with little physical strength (and that means she loses to people who have weapons which are unbreakable.
also, weaknesses:
Armor and Magic don't mix: you know how she DOESN'T wear armor.
Blind Seer: Self-explanatory.
Finally, as for the waffle guy. I disliked that thing for a long time, but TECHINICALLY I am sticking to it. Also, if I am breaking it, the fuq is Mancer (love Cavaliere's writing btw)?
EDIT: I like you anyway. You seem reasonable. Also, you looked at TV tropes. I like that website and knew about it before you mentioned it. Nice.

Personally, I think being able to slice bullets is a bit much, and the null aura seems a bit powerful as well, considering she still has everything at her disposal. If you want that kinda range, I'd weaken the effect, or if you want the full effect, I'd plummet the range. The gravity bit has me fairly confused as well. Does she fly, or can she just hover a few feet over the ground. Similarly, how does this affect doors? If we're talking magnets, I can see push doors working out, but if it's pull, she may need to be let in. Physikus also confuses me.

For the mind-games, bit thrown there too. Does she see the thought, or catch the vibe? Like, if I have an elaborate prank planned, does she know I have an elaborate prank planned or just that I'm up to something? Felt vague in the description but specific in the demo

You've come a long way since Alex though! Great job there!

Quote from 969_DoomsDruid_969

*sighs
Back to square one with the everyone bullshitting me then.
#1. Yes. She has problems with virtually all of the alloys of iron (although, unlike pure iron, they do not burn her. Said burn would kill her in no time at all, so that isn't a thing).
#2. Has literally one actual ability. The other stuff is just a benefit of being fae.
#3. Almost none of her weaknesses can be bypassed except the one with little physical strength (and that means she loses to people who have weapons which are unbreakable.
also, weaknesses:
Armor and Magic don't mix: you know how she DOESN'T wear armor.
Blind Seer: Self-explanatory.
Finally, as for the waffle guy. I disliked that thing for a long time, but TECHINICALLY I am sticking to it. Also, if I am breaking it, the fuq is Mancer (love Cavaliere's writing btw)?
EDIT: I like you anyway. You seem reasonable. Also, you looked at TV tropes. I like that website and knew about it before you mentioned it. Nice.

The point isn't a checklist to see if your character matches some of the drawbacks, I put it there because almost every character on this forum fulfills an archetype be it a mage (of sorts), a ranged fighter, a melee fighter, a swordsman, a weapon wielder, etc. What i'm trying to say is? In terms of strengths and weaknesses, what direction are you taking your character? Is she offensive, defensive, sneaky, a weakener, a mage, because she good at everything. She's immune to tons of stuff, nullifies half of other people's powers (Its basically categorized between normal, psychic, magic, and mechanical), can launch several different types of magic, wields a weapon that bypasses her strength weakness, can fly, and can bypass obstacles.

Also, I don't know what you think about Richard. He can come across rude sometimes, but he really is trying to help you. Almost everyone giving CnC is trying to help. Take his offer for your own good. You're going to feel bad afterwards, but it might help.

Crank is right, you have come a long way. Remember that.

Edit: Crank has a better gauge at these things than I do. Your character is one of the more powerful characters, but do/explain what he says and asks and you shouldn't have too much of a problem getting accepted.

Reasonable CnC on one of my chars? *inserts a heresy meme here
Jokes aside, fair dos.
The Null Aura seems fair to me, considering the only things it really affects are telepaths and computers. If you can give me fair evidence as to a situation where it drastically affects battle, then I will change it.
The Bjarkan (its original name, forgot to change it, will do) would only do the latter. It is meant to be vague intentions.
The point of her was to NOT conform to an archetype. She's from another dimension. Fuck your stereotypes. At least I didn't put what she is actually like in her dimension (in it, time, space, matter, light etc. do not exist, so you can imagine the mind-fuckery there).
EDIT: Wait wat? Can FLY? Teh fuk bruh? I tried to stop this from happening. Anyways, she kind of skims across the air, inches above the ground. It was to give her an "ethereal spooky ghost" feel. Also so if she is b-slapped she will fly over to a wall and stop just before she hits it, losing all momentum. Oh and the door thing is just doors and locks and things. She can't phase through walls. She just automatically opens locks and doors in the vicinity (which might fuck her up, considering she has no control over it).

Quote from 969_DoomsDruid_969

Reasonable CnC on one of my chars? *inserts a heresy meme here
Jokes aside, fair dos.
The Null Aura seems fair to me, considering the only things it really affects are telepaths and computers. If you can give me fair evidence as to a situation where it drastically affects battle, then I will change it.
The Bjarkan (its original name, forgot to change it, will do) would only do the latter. It is meant to be vague intentions.
The point of her was to NOT conform to an archetype. She's from another dimension. Fuck your stereotypes. At least I didn't put what she is actually like in her dimension (in it, time, space, matter, light etc. do not exist, so you can imagine the mind-fuckery there).

Okay look at my edit. Your character's not nearly as powerful as I thought. I think you just need a little more description and organization about your abilities and weakness. As it stands, I only have a gripe about three of your character's attributes and their not big ones. Just mild tweaks. (Can someone verify if i'm being reasonable or not?)

Also, like it or not, your character fulfills the mage archetype. Tons of magical defenses and "spells" whatever you want to call them. (No offense intended. Almost everything fulfills an archetype loosely.)

My problems:
1# That nullifier of yours is instant death to psychics or robots. Limit it to weakening psychic and robot RHGs instead of shutting their powers down completely and you'll be fine.
2# Spear proficiency is fine. Absolute mastery for a character with that many abilities is not so much. Tone it down to very good or great proficiency with spears.
3# Your blindness weakness. Its more of a descriptive problem, but you immediately list reasons afterwards why it isn't a problem for her. You explain why they don't completely overcome the weakness in the comments, but you should put it in the actual description as well.

I had NOT thought about the effect on robots! Thnx man! (although, if you think about it, the only psychics it really destroys are the ones with no skills in anything else. And if that is the case, they will likely be op in terms of psychic power, and then they deserve it, because then they are Alex unsealed.)
The spear thing may be misunderstood, considering in the demo Al.ice destroys in close combat. Al.ice is actually only just about acceptable with the fused version. The two spears she is good with, but not great. She would only be savage with a single spear, which is something she rarely does, the main reason being she is trying to learn the other two and become more proficient in them. Considering the fact she is technically immortal (don't ask. No, this isn't an Alex unsealed thing.), she doesn't really give a fuck as to whether she dies because she didn't single spear.

Last bit: fair enough.

Edit: Yes, you are. Good job.

Also, she doesn't fulfil mage. Her abilities cannot be spammed for nukes, she is proficient with a weapon, and says fuck actual mages (well, psychics and mechanics). I'd say she is more of an anti-mage. And(this is for you Crank) the range will be nerfed to always being precisely 37.3ft.

Quote from 969_DoomsDruid_969

I had NOT thought about the effect on robots! Thnx man! (although, if you think about it, the only psychics it really destroys are the ones with no skills in anything else. And if that is the case, they will likely be op in terms of psychic power, and then they deserve it, because then they are Alex unsealed.)
The spear thing may be misunderstood, considering in the demo Al.ice destroys in close combat. Al.ice is actually only just about acceptable with the fused version. The two spears she is good with, but not great. She would only be savage with a single spear, which is something she rarely does, the main reason being she is trying to learn the other two and become more proficient in them. Considering the fact she is technically immortal (don't ask. No, this isn't an Alex unsealed thing.), she doesn't really give a fuck as to whether she dies because she didn't single spear.

Last bit: fair enough.

Okay. So your real problem here is description. Perhaps you'd like to organize you stuff (See other character threads for examples) a little cleaner and elaborate so people don't get confused like Crank and I did. Afterwards, you can make tweaks from there. Also yes, I would make Null Aura only weaken powers to give magic users a fighting chance.

You do understand that a strong enough punch(or at least a few) is more than enough to kill Winston's stick figures. Also, Vazarin: Warframe fan or coincidence?

On top of that, perhaps you should refrain from designing abilities meant to combat specific gladiators?

The character is better, much better than your previous, but still has some issues that need to be addressed. The way you've worded things are a tad confusing. Null Aura just seems like an unnecesary protection against magic users and tech buffs alike, while Unnatural Grace is an excuse to never miss a shot, and Bjart-whatever could simply be summarized as "She is very hard to decieve" and " She sees everything from a third person perspective around her".

Everything else seems fine. Her spears are questionable, but other that the magic is very specific but I don't think broken or unreasonable(might have to read again).

I can read story and NPC lists as well as anything I might have missed later today, but I look forward to seeing your work!

I know! Everyone keeps misunderstanding things I do... its so sad. Also, the Null Aura only stops psychics. That means telepathy, telekinesis and teleportation. Everything else is fair game. The point is that no psychic seems to completely rely on their abilities here (for sake of being too UP or becoming Alex unsealed). The only psychic I can find is Zalgo, who has his oil. But I am changing things, so if you have any other issues, plz let me know.

Quote from Kamiroo Wolf

You do understand that a strong enough punch(or at least a few) is more than enough to kill Winston's stick figures. Also, Vazarin: Warframe fan or coincidence?

On top of that, perhaps you should refrain from designing abilities meant to combat specific gladiators?

The character is better, much better than your previous, but still has some issues that need to be addressed. The way you've worded things are a tad confusing. Null Aura just seems like an unnecesary protection against magic users and tech buffs alike, while Unnatural Grace is an excuse to never miss a shot, and Bjart-whatever could simply be summarized as "She is very hard to decieve" and " She sees everything from a third person perspective around her".

Everything else seems fine. Her spears are questionable, but other that the magic is very specific but I don't think broken or unreasonable(might have to read again).

I can read story and NPC lists as well as anything I might have missed later today, but I look forward to seeing your work!

I didn't actually design it to kill Winston. Just his kind. I foresaw this would happen (I was a guest here A LONG time before I actually created an account), and I had always toyed with the idea of something that says no to swarmers, specifically construct ones.
Also, most of the stuff you have said is true.
Specifically, as to the Warframe reference:

The posting fucked up, and posted my 1st comment after Kamiwoo. Plz no infract.

Alright.

Congrats on your first functional wRHG char. I like it.

Overall, despite the use of un-original powers and race, surprisingly original character type.

So, I won't repeat the CnC of others here, and I'll make this as short as I can:

1) Yes, this is an anti-mage. I've create many in games as well as one in a RP forum I was in for quite some time. I like the style, so shoot me, I'm biased for it.

2) Explain your terminology just a bit more, because certain terms you use are debatable; this also goes hand-in-hand with avoiding referencing other peoples chars without consulting them first because you just might be wrong. David's Reflections, for example, are not constructs as far as I understand it: they are pre-existing byproducts of SUSY quantum-relativity that David by a means of a ME-ST continuum glitch can bring into the real world, complemented by an element of passive and unpredictable Chaos warping. He doesn't actually create them at all -- they are more like pulling peanuts out of a bag (already there and real, you just have to grab them and take them out to see them)(Oh, and there are soon to be Chaoids -- rogue Reflections that are no longer Reflections but now real beings due to the work of our dear Chromium). Similarly, many of your magic terms need a bit of clarification -- how precisely does the gravity powers work? Can you give examples?

3) On the whole, I don't see this as being OP, and congrats on being concise and rather organized.


Parting comment:

David: "I have heard this girl can split bullets with her powers, and stop them dead in their tracks."

Altaer: "Doc...I know your ammo choices -- Aeropyre and HEAP rounds. Screw that bitch and let her slice or stop those fuckers."


Humorous thoughts, but honestly I don't think slicing bullets is overkill -- NatGeo did a spread on a Japanese guy who has trained as a Samurai since toddler-hood, and they actually used a slow-mo cam to document him slicing a bullet with his eyes shut. If a human can do that with enough training (granted, it was in a firing range and not actual combat, but still), Miss Wonderfuk certainly can (and I mean no disrespect by that comment).

Lastly, Lilith originated around 1000 B.C. in Middle Eastern mythology (or is it real O.O :P ) as a winged female demon that prowled the night seducing and eating any men who slept outdoors, as well as unattended babies. Nothing more, nothing less. Also known as "The Night Creature" when translated into English (interesting connection there...*stares at Azzy*). Is this traditional Lilith the being to which you refer? Otherwise the only other Lilith with which I am familiar is the evil ex-wife from the show "Fraiser."

1. Fire and explosions don't affect Al.ice, remember? (I'm assuming the ammo types explode, because of the names. I don't know what they do. plz explain m9)
2. Nice research, but my Lilith originates from 2 places: Wiccan philosophy (I am a Wiccan. Surprise motherfucker.), and my wonderful, magical headcanon in which you are all subject to.
3. Constructs are anything that exists in the plane upon which the caster(of Negate Construct) is in because of superhuman powers(magic or no) which is either a second body controlled by the "creator" (no creation is required, but it is more common) or something at least semi-sentient (semi-sentient does include animals) that may be controlled by the "creator". I just didn't feel the need to explain that, considering I wasn't expecting this to be an issue. Also, Chaos helps the cause because it is metaphysical (don't tell me it isn't, it is, unless you are making it an undefinable Mary Substance) and therefore seals the Reflections as constructs.
4. Sorry, are we referring to MEST as in Scientology? I am familiar with supersymmetric physics (barely, I am nowhere near an expert) but I have no idea what ME-ST is.
EDIT: PS. You asked me whether I wanted to join the Coils. Considering the fact I will likely be unable to do actual pieces (like monthlies) until after December, I would like to join the Coils (and become a Strand of Fate), but unless you need me to do monthlies before then(assuming you have space and you are okay with me joining), my hands are kinda tied.

ME-ST is a short way of referring to the Matter/Energy-Space/Time continuum.

Not to surprised about you being a Wiccan...there are lots in my area...so now I'm wondering if you are one of the local-yocals....

Alright. Under your definition I'll conceded that the Reflections are constructs (although the Chaoids will not be so, since they have been liberated from David's powers and exist of their own accord now...working this out now, but these will be NPCs and not David's powers, so....).


Fire and explosions won't effect her, the Aeropyre round, however (used in my story "The Change" only briefly) induces a chemical reaction in the atmosphere that causes immediate combustion of the atmospheric gases of a large area, also resulting in the melting of nearly all substances at hand. Additionally there is a huge shockwave generated. Anyhoo...I wouldn't use those anyway. There are better ways to get rid of this char, if I so chose (not saying I will, just saying period).