Good day everybody,

I have done some soul searching and taking in comments, the most helpful of which were Urako, Alphaeus and Ciel. And I have a couple of confessions to make:

First let me start by saying: I think Alph is a better writer than I am. He has a flow to all his work that I have yet to achieve. Yes, I like detailing my worlds to a great degree but I can never make each paragraph flow onto the next as beautifully as he can. I have to admit, due to the fact that I was a lazy piece of shite I faltered in many of my duties as a writer and put loads of responsibility at the wayside. Foremost would be my ending. Kind of strapped for time, I copped out on the ending in order for a quick resolution and so I hoped the first two thirds would carry the story (according to the polls, it seemed like I was right) but this is quite a bad way to go about things and it isn't a reflection of my current writing ability whatsoever.

Another example of my laziness would come in the form of poor research. I skimmed the Doctor's page to get a rough idea of what the character was like and only kinda read through one story (more like proofread than really read) and thus I reflect David MacBeth in a "cartoonish villain" way as my opponent pointed out.

I'm also guilty of using Alph's battle as an excuse to portray my character's new powers rather than actually fighting him (due to out of 21 pages, only 3 of them was actual fighting). This, I repeat, was not my best work. If you looked at my previous work, "Battle Royal" for instance, it is a far greater portrayal of my style of writing. Thus as much as I appreciate the four votes given to me, I am actually more surprised than elated.

My final point is this: Alphaeus won. By a mile. My story, as beautifully written as it is, is riddled with plot holes and garbage. Using Deus Ex Machina would be fine if explained well but in this case I was just being lazy.

I would like to officially give the title of this battle to Alph. He deserves it far more than I do and I do not want to win this battle with the mess of a story that I have posted. His story will be canon. I will create a new character (something I have been thinking of doing for a while now) and post it at a later date.

Is anybody opposed to this? If so, let me know.

Thank you for your time.

Quote from SaulMurphy

Good day everybody,

I have done some soul searching and taking in comments, the most helpful of which were Urako, Alphaeus and Ciel. And I have a couple of confessions to make:

First let me start by saying: I think Alph is a better writer than I am. He has a flow to all his work that I have yet to achieve. Yes, I like detailing my worlds to a great degree but I can never make each paragraph flow onto the next as beautifully as he can. I have to admit, due to the fact that I was a lazy piece of shite I faltered in many of my duties as a writer and put loads of responsibility at the wayside. Foremost would be my ending. Kind of strapped for time, I copped out on the ending in order for a quick resolution and so I hoped the first two thirds would carry the story (according to the polls, it seemed like I was right) but this is quite a bad way to go about things and it isn't a reflection of my current writing ability whatsoever.

Another example of my laziness would come in the form of poor research. I skimmed the Doctor's page to get a rough idea of what the character was like and only kinda read through one story (more like proofread than really read) and thus I reflect David MacBeth in a "cartoonish villain" way as my opponent pointed out.

I'm also guilty of using Alph's battle as an excuse to portray my character's new powers rather than actually fighting him (due to out of 21 pages, only 3 of them was actual fighting). This, I repeat, was not my best work. If you looked at my previous work, "Battle Royal" for instance, it is a far greater portrayal of my style of writing. Thus as much as I appreciate the four votes given to me, I am actually more surprised than elated.

My final point is this: Alphaeus won. By a mile. My story, as beautifully written as it is, is riddled with plot holes and garbage. Using Deus Ex Machina would be fine if explained well but in this case I was just being lazy.

I would like to officially give the title of this battle to Alph. He deserves it far more than I do and I do not want to win this battle with the mess of a story that I have posted. His story will be canon. I will create a new character (something I have been thinking of doing for a while now) and post it at a later date.

Is anybody opposed to this? If so, let me know.

Thank you for your time.

While I can see where you're coming from, Saul, I still think there's things you're overlooking. I think you're looking too much for the negative in yourself and the positive in Alphaeus. You have received the recognition from the likes of Crank and Azure as the superior writer; both people I deem to hold a certain grasp over storytelling.

In the end people still have a majority vote for you and I would vote myself too, only I can't bring myself past a certain bias to come to read these battles. This is something I must take up with Alphaeus himself (yes you have your headsup, though don't act surprised), but trust me when I say that you shouldn't distance yourself from your victory over these reasons.

So no, I am opposed and do not think you should do this for reasons that are based purely on my perception of the craft of storywriting. I have read some of both of your battles (up to a certain point). Though as I said I haven't read it all and I think both Crank and Azure could give you a better opinion if they take the time for it (So I hereby invite both of you to also respond).

Though hey, I do get where you're coming from. I forfeited my own battle against Alphaeus for reasons that are similar to an extent.

Anyways, those are my opinions. Do with them what you will, I don't expect much to come from them anyways in this given situation.

Quote from SaulMurphy

Good day everybody,

I have done some soul searching and taking in comments, the most helpful of which were Urako, Alphaeus and Ciel. And I have a couple of confessions to make:

First let me start by saying: I think Alph is a better writer than I am. He has a flow to all his work that I have yet to achieve. Yes, I like detailing my worlds to a great degree but I can never make each paragraph flow onto the next as beautifully as he can. I have to admit, due to the fact that I was a lazy piece of shite I faltered in many of my duties as a writer and put loads of responsibility at the wayside. Foremost would be my ending. Kind of strapped for time, I copped out on the ending in order for a quick resolution and so I hoped the first two thirds would carry the story (according to the polls, it seemed like I was right) but this is quite a bad way to go about things and it isn't a reflection of my current writing ability whatsoever.

Another example of my laziness would come in the form of poor research. I skimmed the Doctor's page to get a rough idea of what the character was like and only kinda read through one story (more like proofread than really read) and thus I reflect David MacBeth in a "cartoonish villain" way as my opponent pointed out.

I'm also guilty of using Alph's battle as an excuse to portray my character's new powers rather than actually fighting him (due to out of 21 pages, only 3 of them was actual fighting). This, I repeat, was not my best work. If you looked at my previous work, "Battle Royal" for instance, it is a far greater portrayal of my style of writing. Thus as much as I appreciate the four votes given to me, I am actually more surprised than elated.

My final point is this: Alphaeus won. By a mile. My story, as beautifully written as it is, is riddled with plot holes and garbage. Using Deus Ex Machina would be fine if explained well but in this case I was just being lazy.

I would like to officially give the title of this battle to Alph. He deserves it far more than I do and I do not want to win this battle with the mess of a story that I have posted. His story will be canon. I will create a new character (something I have been thinking of doing for a while now) and post it at a later date.

Is anybody opposed to this? If so, let me know.

Thank you for your time.

1# If I may say so, you don't actually have duties or obligations. You're supposed to just simply write for fun (although we may develop other reasons like competitiveness and of course balance is key as well but you clearly are well versed with that). Yes you messed up and have the right to feel sorry for it, but you didn't actually do anything wrong (except research, that is a pretty important duty because it represents another person's character but you clearly are sorry about it so i'm sure Alphaeus will forgive you). Just keep moving forward and try for the best.

2# This might be partially my fault for being a tad too harsh. Vern's right, you're being too hard on yourself. While i'm not a big fan on how your story turned out, you have earned the majority of votes. Just considering that one more time and their comments before you decide to forfeit is all I suggest.

3# And do whatever you prefer with your character, but do keep in mind that one story isn't worth killing him over. You said you were tired of your character though so if its time, it is time. Again, do whatever you think you will enjoy writing about.

Both battles were written really well, and sure, both had issues, but I think there were reasons for both sides of the votes.

If you don't want this point, I won't argue against it. It's your call if you'd rather forfeit the battle and build your new character.

To be totally honest, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't just take the win and go ahead and make a new character after. Nothing binds you to keeping The Gentleman after your win; alternatively, if it's strictly the point you're worried about, since you have the lead, just consider it a spar. I think you're viewing yourself in too harsh a light, and you don't deserve a loss for that, especially when everything is pointing to a win.

Soo...listen.

I'm not accepting a "win" in a battle that I have "lost." Period.

I agree that you are being waaaaaayyyyy too hard on yourself, Saul. You wrote quite well, and hell, as Crank pointed out, I rushed my ending as much as you did yours...mine was just shorter. Not better.

So, that said, I could accept this as a spar if you want to that badly. Fine. Still, IMO, we should consider this as a battle. But that decision is up to you (because you got a win here that I'm guessing from the way things work a spar would main null? soo...idk if you should do that).

Now, let's say you accept this "win." What becomes canon is entirely different.

Look at my battle with Cruel. Cruel won, but the story that became canon was actually a story I personally wrote (with Cruel's permission) that involved a complete fusion of our two stories PLUS some extra material.

Therefore, what I would like to propose is this:

Accept your win, Saul. Truthfully, you deserve it. Sure, you made mistakes, but you didn't do THAT hellabad. I suppose you CAN forfeit to me, but...whatever. Just take the freakin win :P.

We chat in PMs or Skype or whatever to work out canon. If you want George to die so you can create a new char, we can go with my story, but just like with Cruel I can create a newer and more canon-worthy version for the both of us...totally independent of the actual battle.

Alright bud?

It'd be hilarious if this ended up being a tie now!

And I feel like an ass, but I really did like the rest of your story Alph, just that last bit didn't agree with me

Quote from Crank

It'd be hilarious if this ended up being a tie now!

And I feel like an ass, but I really did like the rest of your story Alph, just that last bit didn't agree with me

TBH I can see how I screwed up. I rushed it to meet a due date. Saul then pushed said due date back, and I forgot to go back and fix it. So, no excuses on my part for letting that slip by.

Okay, I will stop being a little bitch now and take some pointers from my own character's... well... confidence.

I will accept the result regardless of what it is (being a tie will be discussed between Alph and I with PM to sort out what will need to be done next). If I do win, Alph, you have my full permission to change the story to be a better representation of your character (which is where I failed the most I think) thus, once rewritten I would like to make that the canon for myself as well. In the case of your win I will accept it and create my new character.

Whether I create a new character is up in the air if I win. I might still do it, but I will decide that at a later date.

Thus, no. This will not be a spar then and no I will not forfeit the victory (no honour in that anyway). This was a clash of two good writers and thus even though it wasn't our best work in either case it is still a big deal and I will honour it as such.

You are a worthy opponent and maybe some friendly rivalry will occur between The Coils and Acta depending on the result. Should be fun going forward and I am now more than ever motivated to write better stories.

Alright man!

This is the Saul I wanted to fight, not that freaky dude that popped up on the other page :P.

Sounds good to me, and I loved the fight either way.

Alright. The battle is settled and the smoke clears. Thank you for the fight Alph. If you're keen on rewriting my bit, let me know so I can make it my own personal canon.

Also a thanks to the voters and our ever vigilant critique givers. You're always welcome.

Quote from SaulMurphy

Alright. The battle is settled and the smoke clears. Thank you for the fight Alph. If you're keen on rewriting my bit, let me know so I can make it my own personal canon.

Also a thanks to the voters and our ever vigilant critique givers. You're always welcome.

Yeah, I'd like to touch it up a bit. Also shoot me any changes you want to see made regarding George.