Yes. I'm finally done. And if you happen to catch hints of the Kinetic Particle Theory in here, well... I have no excuses. O w O

Name - Backstory and all that other info

Full name: Raelia d’Autriche

Age: 20

Gender: Female

Chronicles: Coming Soon

ticles. The targeting system only targets one type of particle at a time. These particles can be on an object/being or within a specified radius of within 20m (AOE).

Particles can be made to speed up, slow down, change direction of travel; they can also be made to vibrate faster or slower. Effects such as freezing are a combination of a decreased speed and vibration. The effects can be combined differently to produce various results.

If an AOE is cast, single targets cannot be cast. It is either one or the other.

When on cooldown, Systematic will not function. Raelia will not be able to target anything or affect anything.

For more information, please check out Ability > Systematic below.[/spoiler]

reminiscent of carmine - that falls to just past chest length, which she usually keeps tied up in a messy bun. She has a couple of pins with tiny amber shards on the end holding the bun together. Her irises are an unusual shade of yellow-gold. She stands at 163cm, bringing her just over 5’4”. Her build is lean, with a slight curve at the chest. There is a glyph on her left arm that looks like a tattoo inked onto pale skin.

A quick sketch is visible at: https://app.box.com/s/eb7u0m80d993lxa33obworntg6cotfwr.

Clothing: Her preference is for muted colours, mainly blue-blacks, off-whites, red-greys and blue-greys. She is fond of long jackets and vests, and can usually be found in one coupled with a sleeved shirt. She favours minimalist designs, and wears a chain with a small amber shard threaded on it.

ine, aren’t you?”

Being in tune to the world allows Raelia to see past most facades. As such, she is honest in return. In all her dealings and interactions, she will not lie, *but she may not tell the entire truth, especially if the other person is someone she cannot trust. This single-minded fixation on duty-based ethics serves her ability well.

She is blunt, and will not try to hide most things. Still, she will only give answers if someone asks first. How she treats others is how she expects to be treated.
[/spoiler]



Fighting Style: Her style is based around hand-to-hand combat. Systematic is used , with her usual go-to being reducing the opponent’s weapons to dust one by one.

er an efficient full-contact fighter. She is fond of techniques that include pre-empting and catching attacks.[/spoiler]

icles, under two categories: Speed and Oscillation. Speed refers to the slowing down, speeding up or redirection of travel. Oscillation impacts the vibration of the molecules, either slowing down or increasing its frequency. Both must be used together to gain an effect.

Under Systematic, applications generally cannot be reversed. For example, after a bullet has been shattered, it cannot be put back together.

f water molecules causes vapour to condense, liquid to freeze and ice to spread.

The opposite applies, but causes ice to melt, liquid to boil and gas to heat up. It could also cause organic material to burn. She cannot produce fire, but can cause second-degree burns if allowed long enough exposure.[/spoiler]

She can only affect whatever is in her line of sight. This includes Original Sight if her eyes are closed.

are there. If she cannot identify it, Systematic would not work. Everything else aside from her target is left unaffected.
AOE Systematic cannot be overlapped with single-target Systematic. It is either one or the other.

she can disengage the layer and switch to AOE systematic, provided that she does not exceed five targets. If she began with AOE Systematic, after disengaging, she immediately goes into cooldown. While in AOE Systematic, she cannot set up a single-target Systematic.[/spoiler][/spoiler]

Certain actions require focus on areas. Areas such as these are limited to a radius of withing 20 metres from her. Naturally, the items/people further away from her will be affected less. Instead of targeting a type of particles in an object, it targets all particles of a type within the radius. However, only one item can be affected at a time.

indrops, they would boil one by one. However, due to the relatively small size of the raindrops, they would turn to vapour relatively quickly, making it seem as though all of them had vanished in a minute or two. For larger objects such as knives, they would take longer to disintegrate, making it very obvious that Systematic affects only a single item at a time.[/spoiler]

tres, after which they start decreasing exponentially. The effects drop to zero at 20 metres.[/spoiler]

Casting on a single target has the maximum limit of 15 casts in 5 minutes, with a 10 minute cooldown after. Failures to cast also count in the 15 tries.
Casting an AOE has a time limit of up to 20 minutes, which is reduced by a quarter with every added layer. The cooldown is also 10 minutes.

s as a layer. Trying to cause the water vapor to condense into rain while maintaining the cooling requires another layer, which shortens the remaining time span of the activation by a quarter.[/spoiler]

The individual layers are counted by purpose. Every purpose makes up one layer. Stacking layers is possible only in AOE casts.

essing power she can spare for other duties. After the third successive layer in an AOE, her movements start becoming unbalanced. After ten casts on a single target, the same thing occurs.

The unbalance increases if she does not enter cooldown, and the erraticness of her movements increase. After five layers in an AOE, she runs the risk of deconstructing herself at a molecular level. In such an event, her body would splinter, or in extreme cases, be reduced to dust. This is why she tries to stop before five.

down for Systematic. In such instances, she is unable to target or affect anything at all. All previously constructed layers will simply deconstruct immediately; all effects will cease.[/spoiler][/spoiler][/spoiler]

aelia often carries nothing with her except her inventory. This means no other medical supplies, no mobile phone, nothing. She cannot patch herself up properly in the middle of a fight, and Systematic cannot be used to heal.

As a full contact fighter with zero gear, just about any weapon can take her out if it gets through Systematic. However, it can only target one item/being at a time. Even with AOE Systematic, if enough bullets are fired at her, at least one will get through. The chances of breaking through with numbers get higher, especially if the weapons are bigger - i.e. throwing twenty knives would land more hits as compared to firing twenty bullets, as the bullets are smaller (and thus more easily disintegrated) than the bigger knives.

The target system disallows vague targets like “knife” and “that guy”. If she cannot identify a material, Systematic will not work. Deconstructing metal will also take a longer time than evaporating water, as metallic bonds are much stronger than the hydrogen bonding between water molecules.

Having strong roots in duty-based ethics, she doesn’t believe in killing unless it’s a kill-or-be-killed situation. Her strikes are meant to incapacitate, making it easy for someone to purposely move such that her next blow goes straight down the lethal path. She’ll pause, and that gives an opportunity to strike.[/spoiler]

r pieces are used as distractive pieces. In an event where sight is blocked or when facing an opponent who tracks via sound, throwing them could draw attention away from her.

uses her tears to have a translucent golden sheen. It hardens into amber within a few minutes. Aside from that (and the colour), her eyes are pretty much normal.[/spoiler]

Bandages: She has two rolls of bandages on her. They’re for emergency purposes, but can be used for other things such as bandaging her fists before a fight.[/spoiler][/spoiler]

he capability to interact with the natural world, the experiment made use of symbols, runes and knowledge originating from other planes and dimensions. The ability of Systematic was hence synthesised, and implemented into a being of every available race, in order to test if the capabilities of wielding it could be extended to all. The transplant was strangely successful, causing the experiment to be considered a big success.

Still, observation on the subjects had to be conducted, and it soon became apparent that they (the subjects) went above and beyond all expectations… in every regard. Being able to integrate the usage of Systematic into movements, into battling was so much more than they had anticipated - but so was the destruction it caused. The subjects produced fire, but they were not fireproof; they disintegrated all they wished, but included parts of themselves in the process; they broke apart when they lost focus, losing limbs and even lives. It took many, many months to isolate the cause, but in the end, they decided that it was due to will and intent. Intent shaped the interaction, but without sufficient will, the interaction would become warped.
By this time, only two subjects were left. It was decided that both would be killed at the nearest convenience, after all data had been gathered for future reference. This experiment would be scrapped, and round two would begin sometime in the near future. Somehow, by a stroke of sheer luck, the news about the execution reached the ears of the two.

“We need to leave, and quickly.” The low voice reached her ears; Aurum had woken up. “Have you broken through the bars yet?”

She hummed quietly. The ‘bars’ to their cage were laser beams, making it very difficult to break out considering the limitations of the body. The infrared would burn, the radiation would be a pain, and the remaining visible light would blind Aurum if she left it for too long. Still, that didn’t mean that it was impossible for her to accomplish. It was truly a pity that Aurum couldn’t hold his form long enough to do the job, or they would have been out much sooner. Argentum raised a hand, ignoring the heat that seared her flesh. She could feel the vibrations, innately knowing how she needed to bend them in order to dispel the laser. “Cover me.”

No other words were needed. Aurum gave a sharp nod - one that she felt, rather than saw - as she set to work. Primary target: photon laser. Speed: decrease. Oscillation: decrease frequency. Speed: redirection. Dispersal complete. Layer disengage.


The laser flickered off sporadically, before bursting back to life in a blinding ray. Damn it.
“You need to keep it active! Dispersing it once isn’t going to hold!” Aurum hissed agitatedly, his inhuman gold irises flickering with an emotion she couldn’t identify. His form had begun to fade out once again, small clouds of dust already pooling at his feet. Her unseeing silver eyes looked at him, her senses allowing her to picture in her head what he must look like now, so close to extinction.

Her resolve hardened.

Reaching forward, she grabbed hold of the lasers. The stench of burnt flesh started spreading; dimly, somewhere behind her, she could hear Aurum shouting, but it was inconsequential at the moment. They had to escape.

Primary area target: photon lasers. Speed: decrease. Oscillation: decrease frequency. Speed: redirection. Dispersal complete. Layer active. Countdown: 20 minutes and decreasing.

“Let’s go.” Grabbing Aurum by his wrist, she took off into the labyrinth of hallways. How long had it been since they were first here? How long more, till they were finally free? They had waited patiently for a chance to escape, when there would be minimal people in the facility, and the time was now. After all the deaths, the numerous scientists had been pulled back from the research for other more pressing experiments, allowing them the chance to memorise the way out for this day.

The organisation, whomever they were, had gotten careless. And it would now return to haunt them.

Alarms blared, flashing red lights lighting up the corridor sporadically, almost as if trying to blind the two. Panels in the ceiling burst open with a low hiss, machine guns spitting fire and death lowering from the gaps. Laser beams shot out from small gaps hidden expertly in the walls, running across the gap as if creating a brightly-lit maze. The cacophonous burst deafened the two running through the corridors, but they never stopped.

Primary area target: photon lasers. Dispersal layer active. Countdown: 19 minutes and decreasing.

“Argentum, could you not?” She could hear the slight waver in his voice, even though Aurum sounded as deadpan as ever; his wrist in her hand was already feeling flaky. He was starting to vanish, and the run out was only speeding up the process.

“Too late. I’m already on it.” Secondary area target: lead bullets. Speed-Oscillation-Speed. Dispersal complete. Layer active. Countdown: 14 minutes and decreasing.

The bullets hurtled through the air, only to disintegrate the closer they got to the running duo. Dust fell around them, blocking out some of the light from the alarms as the lasers flickered and went out. Aurum and Argentum ran as swiftly as they were able, him trying to stay in one piece and her throwing up the occasional layer to deal with yet another block in their path.


Tertiary area target: liquid water. Speed: increase. Oscillation: increase frequency. Boiling complete. Layer active. Countdown: 10 minutes and decreasing.

---

Aurum coughed. He could feel the heat rising, the steam lazily rising from the partially-turned-to-dust pipes. Bloodied scientists around them fell, too busy clawing at every available inch of bare skin on them to notice their escape. He watched as they tore themselves open, the almost-invisible curl of steam slowly rising from the bigger wounds on those who had somehow managed to tear themselves open. Others ran for the showers, only to be burnt by the boiling water that crashed down once they yanked

I read the first part of the profile and I knew I would like this character and that only increased the more I read.

Also I am too new to give CnC so don't ask me.

Also great job on the picture great touch.

I don't care for this character. Satisfied, Chrome?

Request. Can you put a little part at the bottom explaing Her partical physics ability for those of us simpleton?

I really like the detail though and the theoretical uses in this way is very intuitive.

Many thanks for all of your kind words.

And yes, that is indeed a good idea, Piston. I will update it later after I finish planning it out on gdocs.
Though admittedly, Systematic stemmed from the Kinetic Particle Theory, which is taught under Chemistry over here. But I suppose the nature of the ability could be considered as under Physics, and some knowledge of Biology is required for practical application with regards to organic matter. Ah well.

Quote from Ciel

Many thanks for all of your kind words.

And yes, that is indeed a good idea, Piston. I will update it later after I finish planning it out on gdocs.
Though admittedly, Systematic stemmed from the Kinetic Particle Theory, which is taught under Chemistry over here. But I suppose the nature of the ability could be considered as under Physics, and some knowledge of Biology is required for practical application with regards to organic matter. Ah well.

Well from the name one could assume that it accelerates a particle to super high speed and fires it. But you seem to be encompassing more than that including changing the state of matter. I get the basics of your ability but since I am a mere student I don't fully understand the full extent.

Oh so it is about molecular vibration. That makes a lot more sense.
(Thinks about this in a battle sense.)
Oh

I have some concerns. Let me copy-paste this straight from wRHG Regulations. Please read both of these since it fits into both regulations:

1. All-Encompassing Powers are not allowed.
This regulation applies to abilities such as omniscience, omnipotence, ominpathy, omnikinesis, etc. If an ability is able to be used on a massive scale, affecting unreasonable numbers of things/people at once or controlling an unreasonable or infinite number of aspects, then it is expressly forbidden. The reasons for this are that there can be no true justification for such an amount of power, and to battle against somebody with such power will almost certainly lead to defeat. To make an easy to understand example, "If you have a gun in a fight, no matter how much you say you won't use it, if the circumstances show up, you will shoot somebody." If you're not going to use an ability, then the ability is not needed.

4. Ability to be Defeated
Possibly the most important regulation, a character must be able to be defeated within reason. While it is no problem to have specific weaknesses, they cannot be the only way in which a character can be stopped. If your character can only be defeated through performing specific actions, or using a certain type of ability, then the combat options for the opponent become vastly limited, as well as one's options for opponents in general. Having an opponent who, unless shot in a specific part of the body is unstoppable is no fun for an unarmed character, or one who uses fire; they've no actual way of winning, bar avoiding fighting to begin with. Using Manny Ken as an example, despite having the specific weaknesses of being flammable and only being able to be killed through the total destruction of the head, he can still be stopped in combat since he's just a living mannequin. Normal humans, demons, angels, aliens, monsters, all manner of character stand a reasonable chance of winning in a battle. Even Superman can be defeated without Kryptonite or magic, despite the difficulties in accomplishing such.

If your character was trying their hardest, there is absolutely nothing an opponent can do to fight them. If Raelia wanted to, anything in her sight from 500-1000 meters could be vaporized or frozen still with a thought. They would be dead the moment they stepped into view. With this in mind, how will there ever be a fight worth reading between this character and another? How will an entertaining story/battle be told if she can never lose if she didn't want to, or the opponent has to fight from over a kilometer away?

As it stands, this character may never find a fair fight or an equal opponent. This is bad for the Lounge because it encourages other nigh-omnipotent characters, and for you since you'll get bored since there's no one to challenge that could realistically fight her. I don't think she's okay like this, and I'd suggest:
-Making molecule manipulation have a very limited range, since it's so powerful
-Reduce how freely she can make molecules do what she wants

There's potential for a really cool character here. She just needs to not literally be able to evaporate people from a kilometer away with a thought, and instead allow entertaining, back and forth fights to thrive.

I still Personally think that it is a cool idea but yes I agree the range is a bit extreme but that doesn't mean it is bad.

Actually, that isn't quite true, considering that it affects only one item/being at a time, and using the AOE system only one type of particles can be affected - and even then only one particle is actually affected at the time. She cannot actually stop particles for more than a minute a day and even then it has its backlash, making it an absolute last ditch thing. There's also the area restriction, meaning that unless you're 3 meters within her radius, you'll feel only part of whatever happens to be the effect, and even though it can be felt from about the 30 percentages and upwards, it doesn't mean that it will severely affect anyone/any gladiator. Long distance shots can get past the restriction, unless the layer happens to be targeted at bullets and it is disintegrative in nature.

Vaporising cannot actually occur unless the entire opponent is made of one type of particle, and even then with automatons, they are comprised of different parts. Systematic would only be able to disintegrate one part at a time, and considering the size of the part, may take some time to do so, especially if they exit her field of vision often - or obscure her field of vision to hide themselves. And considering that she doesn't use lethal blows, she wouldn't pull the same stunts she pulled in the demo i.e. boiling water in blood, which is highly dangerous and most like lethal.

But yes, I do see your point. I will make further edits to Systematic after I'm done with my work.

Thank you for your comments, Devour. I really appreciate them!

Double post, but meh.

Edits made: AOE Systematic has been reduced to a radius of 300 metres, with directional AOE scrapped. The area effect rules that only those within a metre range of Raelia will get hit by the full effect of whatever Systematic currently has in play, and even then, depending on what is in play, it might not affect them at all. Movement has been scrapped, leaving only Speed and Oscillation i.e. she cannot stop/start movement.

A more specific targeting system has been added; if she cannot identify the particles, Systematic will not activate i.e. she has to rely on her fists. Alternatively she could guess, but in the middle of a fight.... well, that's not a prime opportunity to perform the guess and check. Failed attempts still count as activations, meaning that if she fails fifteen times in five minutes, Systematic will shut off for the next ten minutes, leaving her on cooldown.

More weaknesses have been updated as well with regards to focus, the new targeting system and the nature of particles.

Quote from Devour

I have some concerns. Let me copy-paste this straight from wRHG Regulations. Please read both of these since it fits into both regulations:





If your character was trying their hardest, there is absolutely nothing an opponent can do to fight them. If Raelia wanted to, anything in her sight from 500-1000 meters could be vaporized or frozen still with a thought. They would be dead the moment they stepped into view. With this in mind, how will there ever be a fight worth reading between this character and another? How will an entertaining story/battle be told if she can never lose if she didn't want to, or the opponent has to fight from over a kilometer away?

As it stands, this character may never find a fair fight or an equal opponent. This is bad for the Lounge because it encourages other nigh-omnipotent characters, and for you since you'll get bored since there's no one to challenge that could realistically fight her. I don't think she's okay like this, and I'd suggest:
-Making molecule manipulation have a very limited range, since it's so powerful
-Reduce how freely she can make molecules do what she wants

There's potential for a really cool character here. She just needs to not literally be able to evaporate people from a kilometer away with a thought, and instead allow entertaining, back and forth fights to thrive.

I have to agree with this. It took me a bit to get past all the science mumbo jumbo(never been too into science, sorry), but basically what I got from the abilities section is her being able to manipulate matter on a molecular level, which is something I'm only a fan of if it's being used to kill superman in some way(not saying Raelia could kill Superman, just fuck Superman).

Quote from Ciel

AOE Systematic has been reduced to a radius of 300 metres, with directional AOE scrapped. The area effect rules that only those within a meter range of Raelia will get hit by the full effect of whatever Systematic currently has in play, and even then, depending on what is in play, it might not affect them at all. Movement has been scrapped, leaving only Speed and Oscillation i.e. she cannot stop/start movement.

A more specific targeting system has been added; if she cannot identify the particles, Systematic will not activate i.e. she has to rely on her fists. Alternatively she could guess, but in the middle of a fight.... well, that's not a prime opportunity to perform the guess and check. Failed attempts still count as activations, meaning that if she fails fifteen times in five minutes, Systematic will shut off for the next ten minutes, leaving her on cooldown.

These are reasonable changes, but I might need to double check the OP before saying anything else.

Ok, I got a question: Couldn't speed and oscillation theoretically be used to fatally affect the bloodstream of an opponent? I'm no medical expert, nor am I a science buff(should probably leave this to the adults), so correct me if I'm mistaken.

Also, 300 meters still seems a bit high for melee fighters, but hey it's their creator's design choice.

Can I clarify. The power only works on one type of molecule at a time so if she affects all water in the radius then everything else is unaffected.

Personally I love this ability and wished I thought of it. It sounds OP but truly can go both ways. I think it is slightly OP but I can still think of dozens of ways to turn it against her.

This feels like a shallow, needlessly OP character hidden behind purple prose in order to sound far, far better and intelligently constructed than what it truly is.

If anyone doesn't know the phrase, 'purple prose' is when you go into needless detail to try and sound smarter.