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Melox - The ox like being that is vile as a serpent

Started by: plasmastick | Replies: 13 | Views: 1,357

plasmastick

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Dec 31, 2016 2:42 AM #1471903
Melox the acidic tank

TO ALL WHOM IT MAY CONCERN: I will retire Melox after his current battle as I feel he has become a toolbox


Abilities (Click to Show)



[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]
Weaknesses (Click to Show)



[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=4]
Personality (Click to Show)


Appearance (Click to Show)


Story (Click to Show)


Demo (Click to Show)



p.s I have not completed any battles yet, please PM me!
Alphaeus
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Dec 31, 2016 2:51 AM #1471906
First, off, Welcome to the wRHG and Stickpage!

Now for the CnC:

A Demo is absolutely necessary. A battle is different from a backstory.

Secondly, I feel you need to organize things better. Use Spoilers (coding like this: [Spoiler.=TITLE]insert content[/spoiler.] except remove the periods). Use bold headings and italics as well.

Thirdly, I would suggest using paragraphs to organize your material so that it is easier to read. Your English needs work, but since I don't know if this is your native language I won't say much about that.


Now, on the positive side, I find the premise of your char interesting. A poison/acid wielding tank-style char. Not a bad idea.

I hope you make the edits and enjoy your time here at SP!

Best of Wishes, dude!
plasmastick

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Dec 31, 2016 3:03 AM #1471909
Attempting to use spoilers so that I code them correctly during edits:
TEST (Click to Show)


Test for bold TEST
Ciel

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Dec 31, 2016 4:42 AM #1471922
No need to apologise for the messiness; it's cleared up now anyway! Also, I do like this character typing - it's certainly something new (for me at least).
O w O

Ability CnC (Click to Show)


That's really about it from me, haha. Welcome to the forums, and I hope to see you around!
plasmastick

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Dec 31, 2016 1:09 PM #1471954
[SIZE=4]
Clarification (Click to Show)
Ciel

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Dec 31, 2016 2:44 PM #1471958
That's all well and good, but please update his profile with this new information!

Also on a side note, do you mean to say that his arms and hands are covered in armour, or are they literally metal constructs?
plasmastick

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Dec 31, 2016 3:56 PM #1471961
there literally metal constructs
Azure
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Dec 31, 2016 4:00 PM #1471962
Wanna battle?
plasmastick

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Dec 31, 2016 4:20 PM #1471965
sure whats the deadline?
Azure
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Dec 31, 2016 4:23 PM #1471967
How fast do you write?
plasmastick

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Dec 31, 2016 4:34 PM #1471969
This is my first time so I don't have much experience. I believe were both supposed to write stories about our characters fight right? how is 2 weeks deadline
Azure
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Dec 31, 2016 4:35 PM #1471970
Technically, it doesn't have to be a fight, but as they're gladiators that does tend to be the format that is used. And 2 weeks works for me. If we're both done before then, we can post sooner.
plasmastick

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Dec 31, 2016 4:47 PM #1471974
alright thanks

Also, Azure how much are you going to write? I don't want to come off short or do far to much
Azure
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Dec 31, 2016 4:54 PM #1471975
1. Try to avoid doubleposting as much as possible.

2. No idea. I just write what comes naturally. Just go wild, dude, it'll be fine.
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