Stick Page Forums Archive

Steam(Piston1937) VS Ethernu(Sharpiro)

Started by: Piston1937 | Replies: 12 | Views: 1,883

Piston1937
2

Posts: 258
Joined: Dec 2016
Rep: 10

View Profile
Jan 4, 2017 4:36 PM #1472375
Mechanical Madness (Sharpiro) (Click to Show)


Piston's part (Click to Show)


Note from Piston : This was suppose to be put up before the battle with Azure but it wasn't.
Sharpiro
2

Posts: 92
Joined: Apr 2016
Rep: 10

View Profile
Jan 4, 2017 5:11 PM #1472376
Woah-woah-woah Steam. I think you should take your time and slow down on battles. First Ceil and now me? I didn't know you were that busy. Sorry for adding my battle to your to do list. You should tell others next time if your too busy.
Piston1937
2

Posts: 258
Joined: Dec 2016
Rep: 10

View Profile
Jan 4, 2017 5:12 PM #1472377
Oh it was nothing.

Actually I was one straw away from breaking the camel's back.

but it was fine.
Sharpiro
2

Posts: 92
Joined: Apr 2016
Rep: 10

View Profile
Jan 4, 2017 5:14 PM #1472378
you should update my battle part as I finished last minute edits. Also you spelled my name wrong in the poll choice. I don't think it matters too much but people might wonder who sparpiro is.
Piston1937
2

Posts: 258
Joined: Dec 2016
Rep: 10

View Profile
Jan 4, 2017 5:17 PM #1472379
well I can't change it.

Oh well it was a good fight lets do it again sometime maybe when I shift over to my next fighter.

And now for my favorite question. "WHO HAS CnC?"
Urako

Posts: 636
Joined: Mar 2014
Rep: 10

View Profile
Jan 4, 2017 9:02 PM #1472392
Quote from Piston1937
And now for my favorite question. "WHO HAS CnC?"

And this is why I voted for you to be rookie of the year. Fairly good stories on both sides. Of course none are without flaws and here's the CnC you asked for Piston.
For Piston (Click to Show)

Not sure why I voted how I did but that's in the past now.
Piston1937
2

Posts: 258
Joined: Dec 2016
Rep: 10

View Profile
Jan 4, 2017 10:01 PM #1472400
Thanks for the CnC and I will use it in upcoming battles.

I can't wait to battle you and everyone else.
Sharpiro
2

Posts: 92
Joined: Apr 2016
Rep: 10

View Profile
Jan 5, 2017 1:51 AM #1472424
One more thing, you put my part as Mechanical Madness You should put my name next to to let others know who wrote it.

Edit: I'm sorry If I am criticizing you so much but it for your own good in the future
Piston1937
2

Posts: 258
Joined: Dec 2016
Rep: 10

View Profile
Jan 5, 2017 2:13 AM #1472426
I understand.
Ciel

Posts: 29
Joined: Nov 2016
Rep: 10

View Profile
Jan 5, 2017 1:55 PM #1472457
I apologise for battling you at the same time as both Sharpiro and Azure. It did take quite the toll on your writing, and I should have known better orz. My sincerest apologies for that, Piston.

As for this match, I found Sharpiro's work to be a little short. Not a bad thing, but it was quite abrupt. I'd have liked to see a little bit on what happened between Pupas and Ethernu, though. Also, something I noticed is that there's the occasional period missing at the end of sentences - nothing that a proofread won't solve. Everyone makes typing mistakes in any case.

Piston's work has quite the improvement from the previous two battles. I agree with pretty much everything Urako said, and so I will not repeat. I do think that you could try giving the characters a little more depth (something that I don't really do much myself, admittedly). Just as Steam isn't always a drunk automaton.

My vote goes to Sharpiro.
Piston1937
2

Posts: 258
Joined: Dec 2016
Rep: 10

View Profile
Jan 5, 2017 2:08 PM #1472460
ah but why can't Steam be a drunk I haven't done him as a drunk in a long time.
Urako

Posts: 636
Joined: Mar 2014
Rep: 10

View Profile
Jan 5, 2017 6:05 PM #1472466
Quote from Piston1937
ah but why can't Steam be a drunk I haven't done him as a drunk in a long time.

He's usually at a bar, has alcohol on his breath, or is drunk. Most of your fights involve either this, him fighting just because he wants to, and him stealing panties.

I think they're asking you to develop your character a bit more. Alcoholic pervert seems to be his most defining trait (I'm sorry if this is not what you intended) but is stealing panties, fighting, and drinking the only things he does when he isn't moving from one place to another? I think what he's trying to say is try to sometimes show other aspects of your characters other than their main traits. It'll make your characters more well rounded and likeable. Variety is the spice of life after all.

Note that i'm not saying to give up those parts of Steam, just show other parts.

Also, if i'm being too harsh, let me know and i'll stop.
Piston1937
2

Posts: 258
Joined: Dec 2016
Rep: 10

View Profile
Jan 5, 2017 6:10 PM #1472467
When I am done with Nester or Pupas I'll bring Steam back and definitely change him up just a bit.
Website Version: 1.0.4
© 2025 Max Games. All rights reserved.