Name: Erik Villamayor Eolas
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Alignment: True Neutral

line passed down in the Eolas family. The Eolas family was a long standing and prominent family in the Arcane community widely known for their mastery over Control Magic such as Puppetry, Golemancy, Use of Familiars, etc. Yet secretly they we felt all of those disciplines were too flawed in one aspect or another. Puppetry and Golemancy left much to be desired in terms of power of their creations and the difficulty and problems of binding another living being to be a familiar was a whole set of new problems all together. So the family decided to devote their time and effort to create beings for them to use, one’s that held the power contained in living familiars yet followed orders unquestioningly as a puppet. Erik took control of the three greatest creations of his family, Scarlet, Ciel and Gris. He has a constant telepathic bond with each.

Extensive Magic Knowledge- Having studied the arcane his whole life Erik has encountered texts about pretty much every kind of magecraft known to man. Meaning he has at least some idea on how a spell works after seeing it in action.

High Intellect- Erik is a borderline genius letting his brain shore up his lack of brawn. He has gained a knack for battlefield analysis and tactics to give him as much of an edge on his opponents as possible.

Weak presence- for as long as he remembered he was uncannily sneaky, able to fly below even veteran warriors’ radars. He can remain hidden for a long amount of time and if there is a large enough distraction move around virtually unnoticed.

Also, carries a military grade combat knife.
[/Spoiler]

ses he can only maintain one at any given moment. A Familiar can be disabled as any normal human can, wounding or cutting off limbs, etc. but they have no vital organs instead if one attacks the Core then it would unsummon the familiar and engage a safety system preventing Erik from calling that one out for an hour.

While he may have information about other arts of magic, Erik is rather specialized in his studies focusing on Alchemy, Golemancy, Necromancy, Enchanting and Summoning. If he tries to use spells outside of his specialty without preparation there is a near guarantee that it will backfire on him spectacularly.

He may be really smart but he often gets a case of tunnel vision when thinking things over too much. He can only process a lot of information at any one time but it takes much of his concentration.

While Erik is inherently stealthy he has not formally had stealth training, relying on other things being more interesting than him. If an opponent focuses they can find Erik with moderate ease, and his physical stats are at best slightly above average.
[/Spoiler]

the Eolas family mansion he called home. From birth, the mansion and the surrounding estate was the only place he had known and the multiple servants around him, his only company. Well, that is not entirely true, the large library and its massive collection of books also kept his mind from the horrid threat of death by boredom.

Erik never knew his parents; they never visited or even seemed to exist past references in books that the young Erik read. Of what little he knew they were mages, ones skilled in making objects move as they so desired, A few scattered letters he found led him to discover that his parents were employed by an energy corporation called M.A.C. where they likely spent all their time doing research. Later he was encouraged by the house staff he began to quickly learn and practice the arcane heritage of his family, at that point he learned that he had been surrounded by Familiars all the while, each and every single servant was a Familiar created and tasked with the maintenance of the mansion and to care for its inhabitants.

His world was flipped at the age of eight when an unknown group of assailants arrived intent on razing everything on the estate. Erik had just finished transferring the spell circle of his family’s three best familiar thus nowhere near a state ready to defend the mansion so two of the servants took several tomes and their master to safety while the others delayed the aggressors as long as possible. Here started the next phase of Erik’s life, living the next ten years away from the comforts of home that he knew.

The three sought asylum with a mercenary group called the Menagerie, a group of oddballs and outcasts that owed Erik’s parents favors. They took him in and lived the next ten years under them, refining his control and occasionally going on jobs with them. Bringing us to the present where he stands as a full member of the Menagerie, and one of their best.
[/Spoiler]

ally seen by others as apathetic to anything other than important people in his life or things that interest him. He can be described as Amoral, he regards things not whether right or wrong but whether they benefit him or not. He has a kind and loyal side but is only known to the members of the Menagerie, each of which he considers family.

Tends to keep to himself and is actually rather lazy most of the time but when he does get fired up there is little that can dissuade him from doing a task. Has a habit of teasing those he feels close to. Loves to eat meat and chocolate. Seriously dislikes repeating tasks or statements.
[/Spoiler]

ord “Normal” with a hint of Asian ethnicity; his mother is from Asia, the Philippines to be exact. His black hair though messy blends in with a crowd and his black eyes are those of countless others in the world. His build is average for an eighteen year old, one could say he fits the description of a background character in media, and his clothing choices also reflect this. The only thing that seems off about him is the long glove he wears on his right hand to hide the familiar spell circles and a strange claw tattoo at the base of his neck, the mark of the Menagerie. [/Spoiler]

hrough a complicated spell requiring a Core which will serve as the main factor in the familiars abilities, other details such as appearance and such come from what other items are included in the ritual. After the assembly ritual the information of the Familiar is condensed into a spell circle for safekeeping and portability when needed the Familiar is constructed from Mana by the spell.

A Familiar when they look human is far from it. They feel no pain and are merely inconvenienced when an appendage or even their head is removed, instead of blood they emit what looks like steam from their wounds, this is mana. Because of this all Familiars have a healing factor innate in all of them, though not exactly effective in battle, at most they should be able to heal a medium sized cut or similar injury but anything larger will need to be treated outside of battle.

On the question of Sentience and Autonomy, all the Familiars are fully sentient. During battle Erik’s Familiars are near indistinguishable from humans, capable of forethought and adapting to opponent’s strategy, outside of battle is where their nature as Familiars shows, much of what they do revolves around fulfilling the role that which they were assigned, reason why Erik rarely summons Gris outside of fights. They can defy Erik’s orders but he gives them a long leash, so to speak.

When not summoned they are pretty much disembodied voices in Erik’s head. They can only view the world through Erik’s senses when not summoned. Also to clarify he can have more than one Familiar summoned at a time but can only access less than a fourth of their full potential when so. Basically many Familiars out for story, Yes. Many out for battle, No.


he was the Eolas line’s first success made with the idea of a “Knight” in mind. Her core is a rare crystal called a Mana Quartz capable of absorbing ambient mana and storing large quantities of it for later use. The Core is located in her chest opposite where her heart would be.

able of giving even giants a run for their money.

Inexhaustible Energy- Her main weapon as a Familiar she inherited the trait of mana absorption from her core turning her into a type-two perpetual motion machine letting her fight tirelessly for hours on end.

Enchanted Blades- She has not one, not two, not even three but eight enchanted longswords around her waist when summoned. She is very experienced with both single and dual wielding with them, not a master but close to it. The blades themselves are made of a durable metal and have been enhanced further by strengthening charms and a time-reversal charm that gradually returns the blades to their prime state.
[/Spoiler]

hucking things at them. Her strength may be great but her speed is only about average.

There is a reason she has eight blades on her person, she has a tendency to break them, hence the need for so many back-ups, the swords regeneration itself is not very fast, in intense battles she will often have to use her mediocre hand to hand capabilities or improvise a weapon.
[/Spoiler]

y twenties or late teens. She dons a red dress, steel gauntlets, greaves and breastplate as battle garb with her eight blades hanging in fours at either side of her waist. Pale blonde hair tied in a ponytail reaching her lower back and brilliant amber eyes.[/Spoiler]

n, frank in her way of speaking, dislikes lies and deceit. She does her best to keep her fighting clean but should the occasion arise or Erik orders it she will grudgingly resort to low tactics. She is the most mature out of the group acting as a mother figure of sorts to Erik.[/Spoiler]

[/Spoiler]

structed around an ancient unreadable tome as her core her design had the word “Scholar” at its center.

d trait from her core. Prime Energy, for lack of a better term, is the most basic form of energy you can get, it can be called the raw power of the multi-verse. She typically uses it as beams or orbs of energy. Because of its simplicity she can alter its properties through various items. She can drain foes of energy but flesh to flesh contact is required.

Energy Sensitive Sight- From her high affinity with the energy, she can see the flow around her and even through other beings. This allows her to see energy structures and with enough time produce a rough duplicate, as well as “Spellbreak” via attacking weak points on the structure. Energy Structures can be described as electrical circuits where disrupting enough connections shuts the system down A.K.A Spellbreaking.

Energy in this sense can basically be called traces of the preternatural or supernatural, meaning pretty much all Gladiators are subject to it. When viewing a specific person, the energy appears around the person like an aura, or the thing from which energy originates, thus an eye specific powers mean energy gathers around the eyes. The brightness of the energy depends on how bad it defies the laws of physics.

Assorted Items- She carries with her an arsenal of auxiliary items to augment her abilities. Flasks filled with alchemical explosives, paper charms with eastern characters on them for barrier creation and various four staves for elemental attacks (Fire, Water, Earth, Air) all used by injecting energy into them, most of all several dummy tomes to confuse attackers going for her core.
She has expanded her magical armory in light of recent battles to include, glowing angel feathers which function as flashbangs.
[/Spoiler]

k even. Activating her energy sight means losing her normal vision, becoming blind to anything that does not use energy. Her duplication takes a fair amount of time to complete and she does not keep a record of any she copies, it goes against her principles as a scholar. All her items save her core can be used by other energy users should they get their hands on them.
[/Spoiler]

en, she’s fairly short, dichromatic gradient hair stopping cleanly above her shoulder, white from the root ending in a dark blue. Her steel gray eyes hold a sparkle at anything new she discovers. Typically in robes one would attribute as mage-like, ending at her ankles even sporting a hood. Her various implements are scattered among her person save the staves always being on her back. [/Spoiler]

g for new things to learn about, despite her ability to copy spells she displays clear dislike for it willingly forgetting any magic she gained from this method, she will go to great lengths to attain knowledge. She and Erik treat each other as siblings. [/Spoiler]

[/Spoiler]

s a blood-stained gear of a large torture and death machine. His theme was that of “Serial Killer.” His core is located within him around where his liver should be.

is presence better than Erik but at the same time causes uneasiness in opponents making them feel as though they are being watched from multiple angles. Combining this with vertigo causes the target to experience illusions across all five senses.

Vertigo- This allows Gris to spread a fog over a large area around him. This fog not only impedes sight but all the other senses as well, also having a Bermuda Triangle effect on any kind of navigation system, technological or magical.

Bladed Appendages- His main weapon are two retractable blades from his sleeves but he has more weapons at his disposal. From his back come forth two scythe tipped mechanical arms and his “ribs” are actually similar smaller mechanical arms sporting all manner of small blades, daggers, kitchen knives, serrated hunting knives and even small lateral saws. [/Spoiler]

a time, any senses beyond the five are unaffected, and before Gris attacks he must drop Paranoia. Vertigo’s range and effectiveness are reduced the higher the sun is in the sky. All of the blades are breakable, the scythes have no real range when reaching over his shoulders, his rib blades only reach about a meter from his chest. Is not very strong as he aims at areas to incapacitate or weaken his targets.[/Spoiler]

n with black hair in a long black coat that covers his body and wears a black and white mask but when the trench coat is removed it reveals to have no legs only a floating upper half emitting a kind of smoke. His upper part is wearing a white button up shirt but with what looks like machinery hanging out.

His Upper body is actually a steampunk-style machine shaped like a human. He cannot actually talk but releases wheezing sounds when keeping up the human guise, screeching like metal on metal otherwise. [/Spoiler]

s prey waiting for the moment to strike. He toys with his targets keeping them on edge before he attacks and when he does, he methodically begins to cripple them until he can have “fun” all he wants. Erik turns a blind eye to this as long as Gris does not attack any uninvolved in the current conflict and listens to Erik’s commands. So long as Gris can have “fun” from time to time he will follow Erik’s orders. [/Spoiler]
[/Spoiler]

Familiar he created instead of inherited. Her core is a high-level weakening curse gi

First off, Welcome to Stickpage and The Writer's Lounge!

Secondly, well now...congrats and a great first character. I feel that it's well balanced, and well thought out. Also happy that you seem to have a good grasp on grammar and descriptions (a few slips, but I don't tend to grammar Nazi folks until they are more experienced).

Thirdly, for the Demo -- short and to the point, but gives a good enough idea of how this works. I would suggest just a bit more descriptiveness to set the scene better.

Fourthly -- the one point of clarity for I would like just a bit more is precisely how sentient and how autonomous these puppets are. You say he has to control only one at a time, but I feel like from the descriptions and demo even when he's not using them they are still "living" to an extent.

Lastly -- This isn't really a critique, just a suggestion. Most wRHGs here aren't ACTUAL magic/mana/chi/whatever users. Off the top of my head I can only think of two (Leo and Abra, although there might be more). By and large most of them possess innate abilities that are derived from science or just their own powers, or supernatural stuff, aliens, etc. In that light, you might want to broaden your target from being magic-ish to a bit more generally referring to supernatural abilities. In most of your battles I feel like at this point you would end up rather easily outclassed because of this mere technicality.


Anyhow, absolutely great first char. We very rarely see these initial characters from newbies come out so good. Well done.

Also, I think I'd like to challenge you once these revisions are made. :D

okay now I have to finish Pupas and get him to fight you.

Heh, I'm liking that we're getting a few more not so good guys! Interesting squad, although I got some questions about Ciel's vision.

Similar to Alph, magic works different character to character, so assuming that supernaturalness is channelled by chi/mana, how does she see it? Area effect, for example, would that be a blue cloud in the effected vicinity, or is just the guy gonna be looking special.

On that note, do people with magic all look the same? Like, let's say blue is the color. Could she see blue entirely inside magic manipulators, or in what controls it? Like, would vision powers just surround the eyes?

Similarly, does the strength of these powers look different? Would x-ray vision look more intense than night vision, for example?

Lastly, if someone is magic, would they look different? Clone/angel/demon sort deal.

Welcome to the Lounge!

@Crank @Oster

Yes, I will second the question about Ciel's vision. I mean, I'm picturing it like Neo's code-sight (if you are a Matrix fan), but that's just me.

Also, thought I'd drop this note here: I see you have only one post. As things stand there is a kind of new-member limbo with the site for security purposes, so if you post links/pics that tends to lock up your posts or posting ability. Some people have issues with avatars/profile pics as newbies as well. Currently the mods handle this as quickly as possible, although it becomes moot once you pass 20 posts (I think that was the limit).

Thank you, I'm glad to be here. Thanks for the insights, though this is quite unexpected. I thought either Scarlet or Gris would be initially problematic. Well, I'll get to revising Ciel's powers right away, I think that changing Mana to Energy should suffice as the general term can encompass all kinds of peternatural and supernatural anomalies while still keeping what I wanted her to be capable of.

@Alph
If possible could you list what errors there were, Knowing where the problem is the first step to fixing it afetr all.

Advice taken, though I'll try not to create walls of text, I have a nasty habit already.

Dang, I took a look at Altaer, oh wow he's intimidating, but I'll look froward to it. (Prepares self for a beating)

They're actually a lot like Fate Servants just remove a lot of the free will. They are fully sentient but their reason for existing is mainly to serve whoever they are bound to. In a fight they are similar to fighting an actual human being, they can think ahead and plan but outside of fighting they have little desire outside of what was placed in them, Scarlet to "Protect" as her idea of being a Knight, Ciel to "Learn" as a scholar, and Gris to "play." That being said Erik has granted them a large degree of freedom when it comes to dealing with him as their master.

@Piston
Wow, right out of the gate and I already have a target painted on my back.

@Crank
Thanks for the questions, I'll probably answer in full by editing the profile but for short answers

First, in the question of an AoE spell(or attack, I guess) at first it would look like a cloud of energy, now assuming the attack continues, she can quickly refine her vision to make it look like electric circuits, her Spellbreaking works by interrupting or collapsing the flow of energy to the nodes that need it.

Second, if the entity has a flow of power inside them then it would look like a bunch of blood vessles, kinda like how they showed Chakra flow in Naruto. As to body part specific powers then yes the part of the body using the energy would glow brighter, in that vein if multiple parts are using energy simultaneously then the more energy guzzling parts would glow more. If the energy is channeled from an outside force then she would only see the flow of energy from the outside to the part using it. Unless its a whole body power up then the basics apply.

I would think so too but I'll get back to you how the differnces appear. Finally of the being pracically subsists on energy then it would look like a large mass of energy in the shape of a person, the answer to the above question still applies just that her predictions would be less accurate.

I hope this answers your questions. Now to editing the Profile.

A puppeteer... kinda reminds me of Kankurou, Gaara's big brother, but looks preety original to me...

Quote from Azarel CS.777

A puppeteer... kinda reminds me of Kankurou, Gaara's big brother, but looks preety original to me...

I won't deny the similarity but thanks for the compliment. In reality, he's kinda my weird way of letting a character have many non-related abilities without being complete trash or overcomplicated in backstory.

Sounds like you like him, I'm glad.

Quote from Oster

I won't deny the similarity but thanks for the compliment. In reality, he's kinda my weird way of letting a character have many non-related abilities without being complete trash or overcomplicated in backstory.

Sounds like you like him, I'm glad.

Yeah, I do like him. I added you to my hitlist.

Oh, Damn! That was quick! Well, feels nice to see that I'm good enough for that.

I might take you up on a battle soon but I already challenged Elias to a match, no reply yet though so maybe soon.

Quote from Oster

Oh, Damn! That was quick! Well, feels nice to see that I'm good enough for that.

I might take you up on a battle soon but I already challenged Elias to a match, no reply yet though so maybe soon.

Okay, looking forward to your first battle.

BADASS AS FUCK


GODDAMN


MUST BE SMURFING(lel league references)

STRAIGHT DOPE SHIT RIGHT HERE


ALL CAPS FOR A GOOD REASON

Quote from 969_DoomsDruid_969

BADASS AS FUCK


GODDAMN


MUST BE SMURFING(lel league references)

STRAIGHT DOPE SHIT RIGHT HERE


ALL CAPS FOR A GOOD REASON

Whoa, Ummm...Thanks I guess.
Seriously though, what?

Glad you like Erik, and no I'm not smurfing, at least not on this forum....hehe

I will look forward to challenging you one day.

So... does he turn people to his puppets?

Quote from Azarel CS.777

So... does he turn people to his puppets?

You'll find out when my battle with soulfood goes up, it should be soon.