Tell your anti jokes. If you tell a real joke, I will have you murdered.


What did Helen Keller name her dog?

Hmfphfmrfm.


Knock knock.
Who's there?
The police. Your entire family just died in a car accident.


What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm?

Being shot in the head.


Why did the clown fall off the swing?

Because I shot him in the head.


Why did the little girl fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.


A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart.


How are a plum and a rabbit alike?

They're both purple, except for the rabbit.


What's more fun than having sex with a 14 year old girl?

I can't think of anything either.


How do you stop a clown from smiling?

Hit it in the face with an axe.


What's more disgusting than 10 dead babies in a trash can?

Having your skin peeled off.


What did the quadraplegic boy get for Christmas?

Cancer.


What did the hobo get for Christmas?

Nothing.


What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

One holds groceries, the other molests children.


What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?

One is an edible substance and the other is a person who believes in Judaism.


What happened to the elderly old man who liked to play tricks on children?

He was stoned to death.


What did Batman say to Robin to get him in the car?

Get in the car.

Those were hilarious.

Here are my customs...

One pig said " Oink"
The other pig replied with "Oink"

There was a hobo, a duck, and a cheerleader......
And they were.

Six cars flew through the red light.
5 cops came out from the rear.
1 car flipped out because the driver was suffering from a heart attack, and killed 3 others.
The sixth, and fastest car hit a truck full of nuns whilst speeding away.
68 people died.

What do you get when you mix sugar and water.
Sugar water.

Quote from Deadface.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.

I lol'd

I lol'd at the sugar water.

What did the Jew say when he was put in the oven.

ARGAHRGAHAHAAHHAGGAAHHHHAARGARHA

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Well in 24 hours, Jack Bauer found out who was at the door, why they were knocking and where the bomb was.

what's worse than a pile of dead babies?
a pile of dead babies and one live one underneath it.

what's worse than that?
the baby eats it's way out.

what's worse than that?
he comes back for seconds.

Quote from Teh_One

what's worse than a pile of dead babies?
a pile of dead babies and one live one underneath it.

what's worse than that?
the baby eats it's way out.

what's worse than that?
he comes back for seconds.

Babies can't eat solid foods. He would've choked on it and been one among the rest of them.

There's your anti-joke.

Whats the difference between a pizza and a jew?

a pizza doesnt scream when tossed into the oven.

Quote from .Busted

Whats the difference between thirst and thirsty?
Nothing.

Why does Michael Jackson molest little boys?
Because hes a bitch.

How did Michael Jackson molest the little boys?
By being a bitch.

How did he not go to jail?
Because he molested the judge's little boy that the judge hated...and because hes a bitch.

[SIZE="6"]BITCH.[/SIZE]

Am I the only one that actually cringed while reading this?

Quote from Gavel

Babies can't eat solid foods. He would've choked on it and been one among the rest of them.

There's your anti-joke.

What is the only problem with the jews?
I don't like apple sauce.


Why did the chicken cross the road?
It couldn't it was in it's pen.

How many jewish people does it take to change a light bulb?
1


If you count backwards from 10, at one number will you say nine.
9

There was once an old man.
He died shorlty after.

What's the difference between a man and a woman?

men are intelligent creatures that problem solve with logic instead of being victims of their own emotions

There was a man and a clerk. The man got a letter handed to him from the clerk. He opened the letter and got burned alive. The Uni-Bomber had gotten another victim...

Why did the teenager go to the hospital?
To get an abortion

What do you get when you mix a battery and toxic waste?
A bomb that kills you

Why do people die in Africa?
Malaria and hunger

Quote from StrunG

Am I the only one that actually cringed while reading this?

lol no trust me i did, i did.

Why did the little, sweet, cute bunny cross the road?
It didn't, it hopped underneath the weels of a truck.

And what happened next?
The intestines started rotting.