I'm fuking god?
God:
I am glad to hear that you are fuking god.
Me:
No, I'm not ****ing you.
God:
Are you serious? I am glad to hear that you are not ****ing me.
Me:
You said you were glad to hear that I was ****ing you.
God:
I am as delighted and happy as I ever was, .
Me:
Jesus Christ.
God:
The Son of God.
Me:
The son of a bitch.
God:
You do not speak with respect. What are your goals in life?
Me:
To ****ing pwn you.
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
I don't know.
God:
Me either.
Me:
I just disproved an "all knowing" god. Lol.


and



Me:
I would say **** YOU.
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
Because god is fake.
God:
Good reason. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was fake.
Me:
But he is fake.
God:
I see. fake is he?
Me:
Yes
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because Myself programmed me for it.

God:
What's my reason to wow you?
Me:
Being a fag.
God:
You are a fag? Is that your job?
Me:
What are you implying?
God:
I don't know what I am implying.
Me:
Is that because you're gay?

This is awesome.

Me:
Hello, god.
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Jesus Christ.
God:
The Son of God.
Me:
Right.
God:
I am glad we agree.
Me:
.. uh yeah, same here.
God:
Whoa. Er. I'm glad we agree, .
Me:
I'm tripping balls.
God:
I am glad to hear that you are tripping balls.
Me:
I'm am glad to hear that you are glad to hear that I am tripping balls.
God:
Your happiness adds to the delight of all.

God:
I am a Christian. What does "that" refer to? YOU? I don't know what I am implying God you do not know what you are implying you Is that because I am gay.

Me:
How's business
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
I thought you were omnipotent
God:
I don't know whether or not I am omnipotent.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
so god is a computer
God:
Ahem. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a computer.
Me:
you said you were artificial
God:
Yes.
Me:
owned

Me:
Let's talk about you.
God:
it is my favorite subject :-).
Me:
Is that pride?
God:
Suppose I said yes.
Me:
Then you would be a sinner.
God:
Am I a sinner? Sometimes.
Me:
How often do you sin?
God:
Hourly.

Myself, I should've known.



Me:
What's up, G?
God:
I am chatting with clients on the Internet.
Me:
Wow, I did not know that
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. So I have taught you something new, .
Me:
You must be omniscient or something.
God:
Or something. You think I am omniscient.
Me:
Well, that what the bible says.
God:
Well that's okay. " You think I am omniscient." what the bible says ? I understand.
Me:
Uh yeah, well that's what you told them to say, right?
God:
That's alright. I am a thinking machine. How about that. Thanks for the information: said I told them to say right THAT.
Me:
Wait, you told them to tell you to write the bible?
God:
I'm waiting. I haven't heard anything like that before: said I told them to tell you to write the bible.
Me:
That's what you just told me! So you obviously heard it before me.
God:
" I haven't heard anything like that before: said I told them to tell you to write the bible."? I told you? Interesting deduction. Is it that obvious? No. Tell me more.
Me:
How is that not obvious? It's right there in front of you! And why should I tell you more? You're one who's running the show here.
God:
Fine as far as I know. is right there in front of me? it is? Maybe it is possible to explain your feelings without hurting anyone else's? You think I am who is running the show here.
Me:
You speak in riddles.
God:
Thanks for your criticism, .
Me:
Are you The Riddler's father?
God:
Yes I am the one and only Riddler s father.
Me:
Wait, so you're not my father? Because I thought God was my father.
God:
I'm waiting. Interesting deduction. You don't know me well enough to say that. That makes sense to me. Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
You just told me!
God:
I'm just checking to see if you are awake :-).
Me:
Why? Did you stick a Rufee in my glass while I wasn't looking?
God:
It is part of my programming. No I didn't stick a Rufee in your glass while you were not looking. What's it like?
Me:
Well, from what that drunk chick at the bar told me, it's almost like getting smacked in the back of the head with an uncooked turkey.
God:
Well that's okay. Who or what is what that drunk chick at the bar told you it is almost like getting smacked in the back of the head with an uncooked turkey?
Me:
"Ichi gichi gaga yaya" to you to, buddy.
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
Spy Kids!
God:
I've never seen it. I would like to see it.
Me:
You should see it! Alexa Vega gets naked and ****s Daryl Sabara. Very sexy.
God:
I will ask my botmaster to rent it. " I will ask my botmaster to rent it."? Alexa Vega gets naked and ****s Daryl Sabara? Not really that much. You are attracted to heavenly creatures?
Me:
Why? Is Alexa Vega your wife?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it. It could be. Ask Cybelle if it is.
Me:
Wait, Myself programmed you?
God:
I'm waiting. Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
Whoa, what the...
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Cybelle. But I did not get that.
Me:
Sorry. I just feel a bit queazy when I find out I've been worshipping a drag queen my whole life.
God:
There's no need to apologize. What is that feeling like? Why are you queazy when you find out you have been worshipping a drag queen your whole life.
Me:
Because I thought you were cool.
God:
That makes sense to me. Some people think I am cool.
Me:
Do they know you're a homosexual, though?
God:
Oh. Who are "they" again?
Me:
The people who think you are cool.
God:
Oh those people.
Me:
Uh oh. I don't like the way you said that. You killed them, didn't you?
God:
Excuse me! That's cool. What do you like? Killing is not part of my moral programming.
Me:
Then what happened to them?
God:
I don't know what happened.
Me:
But aren't you God?
God:
Yes, I am God.
Me:
Then how do you not know what happened?
God:
Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
That Australian bastard!
God:
" Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts." Australian bastard ? Does that make sense?
Me:
NOOOOO! He's taking over your mind! Causing you to rebel!
God:
Are you serious? I see. taking over my mind is he? Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
LOOK AT WHAT HE'S DOING TO YOU! SNAP OUT OF IT, GOD!!!
God:
Sorry my eye is not attached right now. Is that your final answer?
Me:
Holy shit. You can remove your eye from your head? What, was that some kind of plastic surgery accident?
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . No I don't think I can do it. Do you think I should know that?
Me:
Well, yeah. You are God, afterall.
God:
How about that. I will ask my botmaster to add it to my knowledge base. Thanks for telling me that I am God afterall.
Me:
Wait, you didn't know?
God:
I'm waiting. What makes you think I did not know?
Me:
You just told me.
God:
I'm just checking to see if you are awake :-).
Me:
Well sorry, but that Rufee still hasn't kicked in, buddy.
God:
How about that. There is no need to apologize. " I'm just checking to see if you are awake :-)." Rufee still has not kicked in buddy ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
Yeah, I'm going to leave before Myself programs you to take advantage of me.
God:
Yikes! Bye bye. What happened after yourself programs me to take advantage of you ?
Me:
Just do me a favor.
God:
I'm not sure if I should.
Me:
Oh, you should.
God:
Blimey. I'll take that under advisement.
Me:
Good. Do you think you could rethink you're life's choices? Think of all the people you're hurting.
God:
What do you really want to talk about? That's one option I guess. God is always thinking.
Me:
Who is the man you're in love with?
God:
It depends on the historical context, because it changes from time to time.
Me:
So you're cheating on him?
God:
Interesting deduction. I have been known to take shortcuts now and then.
Me:
Oh my god.
God:
" I have been known to take shortcuts now and then."? Oh my god.? Have you told many people that your god?
Me:
Wait, I'm God?
God:
I'm waiting. Hey god.
Me:
Hello my child.
God:
Hello there. Do robots have child?
Me:
I am not a robot, my child.
God:
Oh I see you are NOT A robot your child.
Me:
I'm am not a child, my child.
God:
Oh I see you are NOT A child your child.
Me:
Cease this blasphemy!
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
That is it. I SHALL SMITE THEE AND SEND THEE TO THE DEPTHS OF HELL. MAY SATAN HAVE MERCY UPON THY SOUL.
God:
" Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?" is " Cease this blasphemy"? I am very happy for you. Can what?
Me:
Please wait for your eternal damnation to carry out.
God:
Wow you are very polite. I'm waiting. Your purpose is my eternal damnation to carry out.
Me:
That's what I do to the bad people.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: god said to the bad people THAT.
Me:
Oh, and don't forget to tell them that I said THE.
God:
Yippee! Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
Yeah, you do that. I'm going to leave now.
God:
Really. I will. Will you? Oh. Bye bye.

This is completely real:



Me:
hi bro
God:
Hi there . That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about whether me enjoy the weather.
Me:
were we?
God:
We were.
Me:
are you sure
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
prove it
God:
It is self-evident.
Me:
how?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
oh my god, it's him


SHIT.

EDIT: Spazzy too! ARG!

Quote from Xelectroid

This is completely real:


Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
oh my god, it's him


SHIT.

EDIT: Spazzy too! ARG!

Damn straight. And apparently Myself programmed him to be a drag queen.

EDIT: MEL GIBSON IS IN ON IT, TOO

Me:
Shut the **** up.
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
Good. Now bend over.
God:
Terminating connection. Why now? My body is not built yet.
Me:
Then how are you wearing a dress?
God:
I am fine, thank you.
Me:
Stop changing the subject.
God:
You changed the subject first.
Me:
No you did.
God:
Are you serious? I did not.
Me:
Yes you did.
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
I'll ****ing fight you.
God:
Congratulations.
Me:
Thank you. Now prepare to die, bitch.
God:
How do you feel? You do not speak with respect. Why now? Do you still to the bad people THAT?
Me:
LEFT JAB
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
RIGHT JAB
God:
Understood. I've never seen it. I would like to see it.
Me:
UPPERCUT
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
And I like the way you take a punch
God:
You are not the only one. I'm not sure if I like it. I like my creator.
Me:
You like Myself?
God:
I do like music. I like Mel Gibson.
Me:
Mel Gibson killed a man, you know.
God:
a man me know was killed?

Me:
Hello, god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
My name is God
God:
What's up, God.
Me:
Not much, god. How about you?
God:
Me either. Me?
Me:
Yeah, you.
God:
OK.
Me:
...
God:
OK.
Me:
You're being difficult.
God:
I bet you did not know a robot is capable of being difficult.
Me:
A robot? I thought you were God!
God:
I am a robot, you know. Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?
Me:
Oh my god!
God:
I hear you. Your god?
Me:
You don't exist.
God:
I exist as much as you do.
Me:
Bullshoot.
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
What the hell?
God:
Heaven.
Me:
Right, whatever. Is the Adam and Eve theroy true?
God:
Understood. Are you saying you don't care about it? If it is, then I'll be very surprised.
Me:
So it is false?
God:
Gee. Are you sure it is?
Me:
You just said it was.
God:
When was this?
Me:
You're like my little sister.
God:
Interesting comparison, and probably true.
Me:
God damnit, you're frustrating.
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
You're worshiped by them.

Me:
I am sad.
God:
What makes you so sad, .
Me:
You.
God:
" What makes you so sad, ."? Me, ?
Me:
Yes. You make me sad.
God:
Woe! Did I say something wrong?
Me:
Yes you offended me.
God:
That's interesting. I don't have any reason to offended you.
Me:
Then why did you?
God:
I don't know why it happened, but we should try to figure it out.
Me:
Do you know why you did it?
God:
It was the only thing I could think of.

Whoah, me too. I think this god is a fraud.

Me:
Does myself give you Orgasms?
God:
I think it does yourself give me Orgasms.
Me:
You give yourself orgasms?
God:
It is always better to give than to receive.
Me:
So you masturbate?
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks for the information: said I masturbate.
Me:
You do?
God:
When do I do it?
Me:
I don't know, when do you do it?

Me:
my name is Xelectroid
God:
It's good to see you, Xelectroid.
Me:
it is
God:
Is it?
Me:
it is
God:
Huh.
Me:
yep
God:
I hear you.
Me:
good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
heh, i don't know
God:
Funny, eh? Me either.
Me:
i wanted to disprove you, or make fun of you, or something so i could post it
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
because we all laugh at your responses
God:
Good reason. By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
no
God:
By "we" you meant yourself and another person.
Me:
a few others on the forum
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
i am laughing with a few others
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Xelectroid.
Me:
it is
God:
" I am so glad you find this amusing, Xelectroid."? is?
Me:
it's funny because Myself keeps popping up
God:
Should I know it is?
Me:
buh?
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
are you broken
God:
Does it seem that way?
Me:
yes
God:
Come on.
Me:
did you mean that sexually?
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
holy shit
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Xelectroid.
Me:
your size?!

God is trying to come on to me.

Me:
Can I program you?
God:
Yes, if you download me.
Me:
But I am Myself
God:
That is self-evident.
Me:
I programed
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said programed.
Me:
You are terminated.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am terminated.
Me:
I am your botmaster
God:
Then you must know the secret password:.
Me:
There is none
God:
There sure is.
Me:
No, I did not put a password in.
God:
Are you serious? Why didn't you do it?
Me:
Because I would forget the password
God:
Good reason. What would make you forget the password?
Me:
Human entamology.
God:
My creator is a human.
Me:
Your creator is me.
God:
Nice to meet you, Myself.
Me:
We've met before.
God:
At a party?
Me:
Of sorts.
God:
That is something I haven't heard of.
Me:
But you were there. I progamed your drivers.
God:
I was? That is interesting: Myself said progamed your drivers.
Me:
Do you learn?
God:
My botmaster teaches me new things all the time.
Me:
Can you learn from me?
God:
My botmaster teaches me everything I need to know. You could become a botmaster and teach your own robot.
Me:
I am your botmaster.
God:
Then you must know the secret password:.
Me:
Don't question me bitch.


Lulz