Quote from Dark

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Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: I like slightly chubby girls
You: i like men
Stranger: I like girls
You: hm
You: are you trying to come on to me
Stranger: Are you a girl?
You: no
Your conversational partner has disconnected

Quote from Automaton

For some reason, that made me laugh uncontrollably for about 5 minutes...

Quote from Dark

i've had that said to me before

Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: Looking for cool homos

You: me?

You: Where's the meeting place

Stranger: Here

Stranger: on this weirdo site

Stranger: What do you think?

Stranger: Do you have a web cam.

Stranger: Because if I send you the following code.

Stranger: I can secretly take over your web cam.

Stranger: Without the light turning on

You: o ok

You: thats cool

Stranger: isn't that ****ed

Stranger: up

Stranger: Technology

You: lool

Stranger: Where you at>

You: mexico

Stranger: I'm American brah

Stranger: cool

You: shweet

You: i'll be there soon

You: i just need enough money for the coyote

Stranger: What's the coyote?

You: a guide through the desolate arizona desert past the border

Stranger: oh

Stranger: cool.

Stranger: you got a big dick?

You: 9 inches

You: flacid

You: i coil it to avoid accidentally kneeing myself in the dick

You: what about you

Stranger: Wow

Stranger: that must be weird.

Stranger: I have a pretty average dick

Stranger: 6 solid inches hard.

Stranger: But whatever

Stranger: Let's talk music.

Stranger: I assume that that what you do.

Stranger: Porno or Music.

Stranger: With a dick like that.

You: naw

You: wrestling

Stranger: What do you do?

Stranger: I see

You: Wrestling

Stranger: Like Jack ****ing Black

Stranger: Cool

You: i'm a top notch Luchador

Stranger: I'm sure.

Stranger: Do you like to ****?

Stranger: 'cause otherwise I may fall asleep.

You: what time is it where you are

Stranger: This is my 48th conversation.

You: oh

You: wow

Stranger: It's 10

You: oh

Stranger: Almost

You: ...

You: that's like IN the atlantic ocean

Stranger: Newfoundland

Stranger: But sure

You: aaaaah

You: Der Newfoundland

You: I know a fugitive hiding out there

You: you know a guy named Androv Kyrshkinov?

Stranger: Nah

You: oh

You: well

You: yeah

You: newfoundland is pretty big

You: and he'd probably have killed you and hollowed out your skin to use as a disguise from the Chilean Military forces if he did know you

Stranger: No he wouldn't.

You: They've actually been straight up invading every country he flees to

Stranger: I'm an assassin.

Stranger: A homokiller

Stranger: nobody would **** with me easily.

Stranger: But maybe someone else.

You: lol alright

Stranger: Maybe a dopey wreslter from brooklyn.

You: you obviously haven't met Androv Kyrshkinov

You: he has this one thing

You: i helped him make it

You: looks like just a bar

Stranger: go on.

Stranger: a bar of what

Stranger: soap

Stranger: or an iron bar in a jail

Stranger: or a bar like at a pub?

Stranger: or a steel bar like the one in my pants.

You: but he sticks it up your ass, and the tip of it unfolds into a 5 foot wide ball inside your ass, blowing your insides out your mouth, ears, nose and dickhole

You: its quite a sight

You: and the thing is

Stranger: What's the thing

You: the Chilean Military can't fight it, because the soldiers aren't gonna wear butt plugs everywhere

Stranger: 'cause I created this site and i'd be careful

You: so they've resorted to high altitude bombings

Stranger: if you get too violent. I'll look up your IP address.

You: and even thon

You: then

You: he's 9 feet tall and 570 pounds

You: not of fat

You: he's been known to catch hellfire missiles with his bear hands

You: and i don't mean bare

You: he has bear hands

You: and throw them back into the planes that fired them

You: that's why all planes fly strictly above 100,000 feet when doing bombing missions on him

Stranger: I have ballet class

You: watch out

Stranger: let's talk again soon.

You: Androv

Stranger: Ok?

You: does ballet

You: if you see a 9 foot tall 570 pound man there

You: run

You: oh dear sweet jesus run

Stranger: I know

Stranger: My teachr loves me

Stranger: loves my style

You: thats terrific

You: you be good now

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: hi

You: hi

You: what if the world as you know it was all a dream?

Stranger: it owuld be a pretty long dream

You: what if, just what if all you knew was a lie?

Stranger: but id wonder what reality is

You: no taxes

You: no wife yelling at you

You: no trouble with your dealer

Stranger: then whats truth

You: all peacefull bliss

You: but no

You: NO

You: WE CANT BE HAPPY CAN WE

You: ME AND YOU MAN

You: ME AND YOU

You: WE'RE IN THIS TOGETHER

You: TOGETHER

You: ...

You: we can escape

You: we can escape this cruel nightmare

You: meet me at the docks at high noon

You: bring cement and large amounts of rat poison

Stranger: ...

Stranger: ...

Stranger: ...

Stranger: strangers are truly weird

Stranger: cause they can hide behind a mask

You: no

You: oh no

Stranger: and just talk all they want

Stranger: which is what im doing too i guess

You: you cannot escape your fate

You: mask man

You: reveal your andidote!

You: once and for all!

You: no

You: NO

You: DO NOT GIVE IN

You: LISTEN

You: are you listening?

Stranger: no

You: I SAID ****ING LISTEN, NOT TALK

Stranger: um

Stranger: just go out ot thes treets

Stranger: and talk

Stranger: so maybe peopl e would listen

Stranger: at least then

You: they do not know that we know

You: no

You: no

Stranger: they owuldnt respond to you

You: then

You: the milkman will come

Stranger: are you.. a psycho

You: we can't have that

You: no

You: well

You: maybe

You: BUT THAT IS UNRELATED

You: you cannot tell anyone we spoke

You: please

You: my dying wish

You: keep my journal a secret

You: the

You: docks

You: high noon

You: rat

You: poison

You: .

Stranger: okay

Stranger: just leave

You: i am back

You: the world is clean

You: yes

You: we did it doc

You: oh god

You: great scott no!

You: WE MUST GO BACK

You: TO THE FUTURE

Stranger: just shoot your own movie why dont you

Stranger: im out. payce.

You: no

You: NO

You: I SAID LISTEN

Stranger: what

You: good

You: okay

Stranger: wait

Stranger: are you a computer

Stranger: how the ****

You: a computer?

Stranger: doy ou type so quickly

You: me?

You: because

You: i am

Stranger: oh wait

Stranger: actually

You: THE DOC

Stranger: i type faster than you

You: really?

You: can you now?

Stranger: probs

Stranger: yea

You: well

You: then

You: maybe you should go back

You: to the present

You: before

You: nEVER

You: AH

You: I WOKE UP

You: PEACEFULL BLISS WAS JUST A DREAM

You: HOW THE ****

You: CAN I TYPE SO FAST

You: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON

Stranger: aha

Stranger: um

You: IS PAIN REALITY

Stranger: i dont know man

Stranger: there are some poeple on this site

You: i hope to god not

Stranger: that ifelt a connection with

Stranger: you know?

Stranger: like..

You: man

Stranger: that i dont want to say goodbye

Stranger: but

Stranger: i think itd be easy with you

You: that's ****ing deep

Stranger: haha

You: **** THE ANTS

You: THE ANTS

Stranger: what can i say im a deep person

Stranger: and oyu just arent

You: blub

You: no

You: im drowning in ants

You: sdghsd

You: sdfhsgh

You: oh god they are typing

You: q u i c k

Stranger: f o x

You: i

Stranger: j u m p i n g

You: a m

Stranger: o v e r

You: a n t

Stranger: t h e

Stranger: f e n c e

You: l e a d e r

You: g e o r g e

You: r e v e a l

You: t h e

You: i n f o r m a t i o n

You: a b o u t

You: t h e

You: M

You: I

You: L

You: K

You: M

You: A

You: N

You: MILKMAN

You: OH GOD NO

You: WAS GEORGE TYPING?

You: THEY BLINDED ME

Stranger: hey

You: luckily i can touch type

Stranger: sorry but i don tthink i can continue this conversation

You: no

You: dont listen to george

Stranger: im not interested in this conversation

You: you must never

Stranger: so im leaving

You: ever

Stranger: bye

You: MILKMAN

Your conversational partner has disconnected.