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Survive this.

Started by: Devour | Replies: 8 | Views: 477

Devour
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Feb 11, 2010 8:25 AM #545911
Yay, Dark's thread inspired me to do another one of these.
Last time, you were a retired secret agent who was being attacked in his home by hitmen. Given the scenario you were in, and information you had about the scenario, you decided what to do next. And I'd write a little story about the results of your actions.
So let's do this again... last time was pretty fun. Somebody tried jumping out of their apartment and ended smashing both their legs on the pavement.
He was caught by the hitmen shortly after.

So here's the scenario that you must survive.
You are a rather rich man walking down the streets at night. You aren't rich from running a company and sitting around on your ass all day though; you're rich because you're a professional boxer.
Anyways, you aren't very famous. To others you're just some rich guy... and in this case you are a rich guy who got kicked out of a bar because he was harassing others and challenging them to fights, despite the strict rules about barfighting.
So you're walking home. Too pissed off to stand sitting by a taxi driver or chaffeur (limo driver). You're fairly well dressed, and your pocket has a little bulge in it from all the money that's in your wallet.

Ahead of you, you see a man who's walking towards you. Faster than normal, and agressively. You really don't care cause you know you can take him on, and keep walking.
But then another man turns the corner behind him. And another, and another and another and another until there's a good 7 people walking towards you. The first of them break into a run and charge after you, and the others follow close behind. You dash into a nearby back-alley at top speed, not caring about where you're going.
The back alley you went into is pretty large. Lots of different ways to go, but they may lead into a dead-end.
Around the whole alley is lots of trash, broken beer bottles, used condoms, dumpsters, backdoors into random stores, and the like. But to the right of you, there appears to be some unfinished construction site, where you could hide pretty well, or find some sort of weapon to fight back with. Everything else is pretty much the average New-York back-alley.
So, fight, run, hide, beg, give them everything, wear some used condoms, or anything else you might wanna do.
What shall you do next?
Myself

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Feb 11, 2010 10:00 AM #545920
HERES WHAT YOU FUCKING DO

FIRST FUCKING PICK UP TWO OF THOSE BOTTLES OFF THE GROUND. RIGHT THEN. FUCKING PULL OUT YOUR GODDAMN WALLET, SHITS CASH. WAVE THE CASH AROUND, STICK IT IN YOUR WALLET, THEN THROW THAT SHIT INTO THE CROWD. GUESS WHAT MOTHER FUCKER. NOW YOU'RE GUNNA SPRINT AT THEM. HOLY SHIT HARD CORE. NAIL 2 GUYS IN THE HEAD WITH THE BOTTLES AS YOU CLOSE IN.

INTENSE.

GUYS SHOULD STILL BE PAYING ATTENTION TO THE FUCKING MONEY. CLOSE IN, SUCKER PUNCH ONE OR TWO OF THEM IN THE HEAD.

THATS HALF THE PROBLEM DEALT WITH HOLY SHIT. KNOCK DOWN ANOTHER ONE OR TO BECAUSE YOU'RE A BOXER, BOXERS ARE FUCKING STRONG. PICK UP A BROKEN BOTTLE. STAB A CUNT. 2 LEFT. PUNCH THE GUY WHO'S STANDING. THEN CURB STOMP THEM BOTH WHILE THEY'RE ON THE GROUND. FUCK YEAH. PICK UP YOUR WALLET. SLIDE IT INTO YOUR POCKET. LIGHT UP A CIGAR. FLY HOME HANCOCK STYLE.

SHIT YEAH.
Gyohdonz
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Feb 11, 2010 10:16 AM #545927
I cant find my lungs, because I coughed them up laughing.
Flood
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Feb 11, 2010 3:54 PM #545973
i think i lost mine too D:
Sacred
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Feb 11, 2010 3:58 PM #545974
I haven't seen this before, but it looks like fun. I'll do this.

*I then type this long ass story, but then I realized after looking through the old thread that I'm not supposed to do that.*

FUCK.

Okay then, lemme re-try this:

I proceed to run to the construction site so that the followers have more obstacles to get around to follow me.
Vacuum
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Feb 11, 2010 5:22 PM #545981
Myself wins.


Forever.
ChuckMorris
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Feb 11, 2010 9:29 PM #546025
I laughed my lungs OUT of my own mouth XD
Zed
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Feb 11, 2010 9:47 PM #546034
Use your boxing skills to turn the beer bottles and condoms into an assault rifle, and then batter them to death with it.

Or run to the construction site, but pick up two or three beer bottles on your way out, and probably pocket a condom because I'm sure I can work that in later.
Devour
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Feb 12, 2010 2:07 AM #546132
Quote from Myself
HERES WHAT YOU FUCKING DO

FIRST FUCKING PICK UP TWO OF THOSE BOTTLES OFF THE GROUND. RIGHT THEN. FUCKING PULL OUT YOUR GODDAMN WALLET, SHITS CASH. WAVE THE CASH AROUND, STICK IT IN YOUR WALLET, THEN THROW THAT SHIT INTO THE CROWD. GUESS WHAT MOTHER FUCKER. NOW YOU'RE GUNNA SPRINT AT THEM. HOLY SHIT HARD CORE. NAIL 2 GUYS IN THE HEAD WITH THE BOTTLES AS YOU CLOSE IN.

INTENSE.

GUYS SHOULD STILL BE PAYING ATTENTION TO THE FUCKING MONEY. CLOSE IN, SUCKER PUNCH ONE OR TWO OF THEM IN THE HEAD.

THATS HALF THE PROBLEM DEALT WITH HOLY SHIT. KNOCK DOWN ANOTHER ONE OR TO BECAUSE YOU'RE A BOXER, BOXERS ARE FUCKING STRONG. PICK UP A BROKEN BOTTLE. STAB A CUNT. 2 LEFT. PUNCH THE GUY WHO'S STANDING. THEN CURB STOMP THEM BOTH WHILE THEY'RE ON THE GROUND. FUCK YEAH. PICK UP YOUR WALLET. SLIDE IT INTO YOUR POCKET. LIGHT UP A CIGAR. FLY HOME HANCOCK STYLE.

SHIT YEAH.

Well, no need to write a story about what happens, if this is exactly how it goes.
You sir, are a winner.

brb doing Sacred and Zed's posts
Edit: I will do them later. I can't be arsed. Keeping the quotes here for later
Quote from sAcReD
I proceed to run to the construction site so that the followers have more obstacles to get around to follow me.


Quote from Zed
Use your boxing skills to turn the beer bottles and condoms into an assault rifle, and then batter them to death with it.

Or run to the construction site, but pick up two or three beer bottles on your way out, and probably pocket a condom because I'm sure I can work that in later.
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