I just know everyone is gonna go for the semen so I'll go ahead and hammer it out.

So some insight on what spiritus is. Its a kind of liquor, not sure what its made from, rice I think and its not avialable in the states. Actually, I heard its ILLEGAL in the states because it supposedly contains WORMWOOD. Which is also in Absinthe which supposedly makes you hallucinate but I've done Absinthe before and didnt hallucinate. Anyway, this shit is 98% proof. Yes you read that right. Ninety-eight percent fucking proof nigger. For you non-sailors/proffesional alcoholics captain morgan is about 50% and some vodkas are around 70% maybe. Spiritus goes all out with FUCKING 98% what is the other 2%? I dont even want to fucking know. I just cannot fucking exaggerate how "fuck you in the face I dont care who you are" this shit is. This is coming from a guy who just slammed his 4th beer tonight and is still straight as an arrow.

Okay then, TO THE STORY! I realize its my own year anniversary since leaving home and going to basic training. I want to do something special and I decide to to a shot of spiritus because its THE ROUGHEST SHIT ever and I have seen what it has done to my friends. It made 2 of my friends, who were the cloest of bros as you can get so fucked up that at one point I had to contain one of them who was saying he was going to slit the throat of the other....why? For insulting his photography work....the next morning they had no idea why people were asking if they were still okay. Me and my friend Gerhard go to our bar we call seniors bar because its run by a retired senior chief. Big black dude who was cool as fuck and for some reason couldnt use his right arm but could still bartend like a damn pro. Never asked him about it but he was like our sensei, when we had an idea about something we werent sure about like staying overnight when we werent supposed to or going to Roppungi on a whim we would consult him for advice and hed always go with HAVE FUN BECAUSE YOU ARE YOUNG. So we get there and I warm up for this shit with a Captain Morgan and Coke and screwdriver (NOTE: Screwdriver = Vodka + Orange Juice) and we tell senior I'm gonna do this shit. He puts down this shot glass and its not a baby shot glass but not a big one either. And next to it a big ass glass of ice water.
I go for it, halfway through the shot I was gagging and wanted to throw up but I didnt. I kept it down after finishing it and fucking CHUGGED TWO of those huge glasses of ice water because this shit is like fucking fire down your throat into your soul. My eyes are watering, my face is red and I look like hell but god dammit I keep it down. SO we decide to go down the street to McDonalds and get some good greasy food into me because thats what we do. Get drunk. Get food. Repeat. I get the food down fine and we go back to the bar, that takes maybe 45 minutes and thats all it takes for the Spiritus to settle in and I feel like I've been drinking all fucking night. So Im done as far as alcohol goes, im chilling at the couch, smoking, talking to this crazy old black guy about some shit and everything is okay.
Suddenly my stomach decides ITS TIME TO PUKE and I fucking KNOW its coming and there is NO stopping it. I get up and go towards the head (NOTE: Head = Toilet/Bathroom) but someone is using it. I know the bartender so I ask him "Hey senior, you got another head in this place I gotta go" and he points to the one thats occupied and says to use that one. I manage to get out "No Senior its Oc-HMMMGH" and my cheeks fill up like a fucking cartoon chipmunk. He realizes whats happening and directs me towards the sink. Why is the sink OUTSIDE the bathroom? Fuck you its Japan. This sink was maybe a foot wide and 4-5 inches deep. I FILLED that fucker up and finally this broad gets out of the bathroom but by the time I get in there I'm done puking so Im just spitting out the remains of the taste and dry heaving. I dont remember much after that but luckily my friend Gerhard was previously designated as my babysitter and I got back to the ship just fine with no trouble. I have yet to touch that shit again....well thats a lie. INCOMING SIDE STORY. Apparantly I DID have spiritus again, a female friend wanted to do a shot called a "high way to hell" and I'll explain what that is exactly in the next story. But it has spiritus, some kind of rum and i dont know what else but its an adventure. But this bitch wouldnt tell me what was in it but she was paying for it and I never give up a free shot/drink so I go for it and find out what it was the next day. But other than that, I refuse to touch spiritus ever again.......maybe....lolololol

NEXT TWO CHOICES.
1) My first time in Roppungi. A real life version of the Hangover movies involving a near run in with the police because a russian chick went ape shit and threw a barstool through a bar.
2) The matching pink sports jersey and how to deter "Buy me a drink" girls.

Quote from MiniMan

NEXT TWO CHOICES.
1) My first time in Roppungi. A real life version of the Hangover movies involving a near run in with the police because a russian chick went ape shit and threw a barstool through a bar.

What the fuck. The first time I went to Roppungi I watched a Pixar movie lol

Anyway, I want to hear this one.

Roppungi plox.

I wanna hear about how to repel women. It's something I have real trouble doing.

I also want spiritus. It must be available in Europe. We have poitín ffs. EDIT: Ah, Poland. Spirytus

Quote from MiniMan

My first time in Roppungi. A real life version of the Hangover movies involving a near run in with the police because a russian chick went ape shit and threw a barstool through a bar.

I'm listening.

*sniff* These are so beautiful. ;_;
Also, I wish to know how to repel women.

Quote from Devour

Also, I wish to know how to repel women.

2 words. Bacon slicer.

But I get my bacon pre-sliced.

Quote from Zed

I wanna hear about how to repel women. It's something I have real trouble doing.

I also want spiritus. It must be available in Europe. We have poitín ffs. EDIT: Ah, Poland. Spirytus

HISSSSSSsssssss HISSSSSsssss THATS IT. Different bottle but pretty much the same label on that shit and everything. God damn.

Okay, so I can already see Roppungi is going to the the popular choice.

Me and 2 of my friends Rigdon and Gerhard are finally blue card status which basically allows you to stay out overnight. We didnt have our barracks room yet so the only place we had to sleep was the ship or the fleet rec where a good number of people hang out. They got some fast food joints there and free wifi, all we really need. So my friends come to me and say "Hey, Miniman, lets go to Tokyo!" they want to go to tokyo which is a pretty long and expensive train ride on a whim...at around 4PM. The trains close at midnight so if we go we'd have to stay there most likely.
Well, we decide to do it but Rigdon pussies out so its just me and Gerhard. We get on the train, and navigate there alright thanks to the very helpful Japanese people. But "Tokyo" quickly turns into "Roppungi" Its a Sunday night (We get mondays off) and were in THE party district of Tokyo, if not all of Japan. We walk around all all these nigerians try to get us into their bar. We find one where its all we can drink for about 1-2 hours for 5000 yen which is about 60 bucks. So we go in and they got girls but theyre the "Buy me a drink girls" Let me tell you something about them, these girls work at the bar and you buy them drinks but its DOUBLE the price as it would be if the drink was for you. The idea is you get them drunk and they fuck but most of the time the drinks you buy them isnt alcoholic and they dont fuck you, just cocktease the living SHIT out of you after you pour your wallet into them. Well they come over to us and sit with us but were still sober so we aint buying them shit. After they realize they aint getting a damn thing from us they leave and we keep drinking and leave the place pretty drunk.
We go hit another bar and we meet up with 2 normal chicks at a bar. We smoke some hookah with them, chat with them and it looks like were about to hit a homerun. Both of us! But my friend eventually strikes out with his girl and I still think Im in the running for this girl. We leave the bar and she said were going to her place but she stops at somce restraunt for food and passes out on a couch upstairs with some male friend...I strike out as well. So we meet a tall, skinny dark haired russian girl at the very same restraunt and its something like 6-fucking-AM and she still wants to party so we go to a bar. Here is what I remember. She got up on this table with a pole, pulled her jeans down while me and my friend molested her ass. Here is what I DONT remember: Her pulling her thong down as well and getting us kicked out of the bar. I just remember walking out of the bar thinking we were just going somewhere else.
So we go to ANOTHER bar. Im dead at this point. A legal fucking zombie because of the alcohol and fatigue. So I just go to the bar and lay my head down. All I hear is the Russian girl shouting "YOU NO TOUCH MY BOOTIFUL BODY!" over and over. Like shes getting in a fight. I realize I need to puke and get up. I see she is arguing with some other american guy and I tell my friend I need to puke. This other american says "I got you" and brings me to the bathroom downstairs where I begin puking. After a little bit my friend Gerhard brings me some water and tells me "Uhh...Miniman, we gotta go" and Im not gonna argue, I'm fried. So we go. We get outside and he tells me what happened.
Apparently the Russian girl went apeshit. Got in a fight with that one other american and the bartender and proceeded to pick up the bar stool and through it through the glass bar smashing the bar, the bottles...EVERYTHING....so my friend tells me "We need to get the fuck out before the cops show off" and so we do. We make our way to the train station and catch the train back to Yokosuka (Where the base is). Gerhard is the navigator because he can hold his own, me on the other hand...Im not even sure I knew what fucking country I was in. He tells me I passed out on the train while he stayed awake so we wouldnt miss our stop. He sees that were 2 stops away from Yokosuka, but then he passed out for a minute and were 2 stops PAST our stop. He woke me up and I get off the train because ht told me to and begin walking towards the gate. He shouts "MINIMAN! Where do you think you're going!?" I give him a drunken look and say "Home?" and he says "Where do you think we are?" I look around managing to stay on my own 2 feet, realize my mistake and say "....This isnt Yokosuka!"
SO we make it back to base eventually and we pass out at the fleet rec and recover there. A wild night indeed. No pussy, nearly had a run in with the cops but there was lots of adventure and alcohol.

And that my friends, is Roppungi. To this day I have refused to go back there unless I have a motherfucking SWAT TEAM of professional drinkers.

I just now counted the votes for stories and realized it was tied once I started typing this out so I think the next story after I get some dinner and relax and shit I'll teach you all how to deter women then Ill have 2 fresh brand new choices for you guys. :D

Do I look like the chick from titanic?

Hello again my loyal debouchery loving readers!

Sorry its taken me so long to get back to this thread, battling a cold and whatnot but im back and I think its time for a quick short story on how to deter women!

Like I said, this is a short one.

So last cruise was alright, good number of port calls but 2 of them were kinda lame, South Korea and Hong Kong. This story takes place in South Korea. Not a lot going on for this port. You can get these killer blankets called "mink blankets" and I think the states has them. Theyre those big fluffy soft and furry blankets. Here in Korea you can get one with pretty much anything you want from sports teams to animals to whatever the fuck.

BUT WHO CARES ABOUT BLANKETS?

Im out there once again with my 2 buds Rigdon and Gerhard. The other thing Korea had going for it were custom sports jersey, authentic quality too. Well they decide to get matching pink sports jerseys, I dont remember the names they got on the back. I think one was Tebow. Anyway, these things are HOT pink and to up the gay they got pink tinted sun glasses. It was kinda good because the streets can get kinda crowded and with them wearing these flamboyant jerseys it was impossible to lose them, haha. So I've told you about buy me a drink girls before, theyre all over where sailors hang out. Every bar we would go into the girls would come to our table and Rigdon and Gerhard would shout "NO THANKS WERE GAY" and hug each other. The girls would then leave us alone and let us drink or go to another guy in the group who wasnt acting so incredibly homo, haha.

And thats just about it. Funny thing though is later that night we did eventually get some hookers, I even paid for Gerhard since it was his birthday.

TWO MORE CHOICES!

1) How MiniMan broke his big rule of not dipping his pen in the company ink aka smashing a girl I work with.
2) The Star Wars drinking game which lead to the longest period of me blacking out with a horrible outcome.

1. Don't leave out any details.

I have a feeling Envoy is one of those types of people that can get horny to an erotic story lol.
I don't think I've posted in this thread, but I have enjoyed reading your many stories.

Both of those are very nice options. I think the Star Wars drinking game might be more entertaining though.

I agree. Star Wars drinking.

How MiniMan broke his big rule of not dipping his pen in the company ink! Mostly to see how suave of a motherfucker you've become since that one picture of you dancing like a fool, in a full TF2 Engineer's costume.