this is how I fuck.

edit: sorry. I didn't really read the second page of this. I'll leave now. :s

Quote from Arch-Angel

I have a feeling Envoy is one of those types of people that can get horny to an erotic story lol.
I don't think I've posted in this thread, but I have enjoyed reading your many stories.

Keeps the mind active and the hand busy.

Also I need tips.

Well since Devour gave such a good reason, and im no cock block ;] Ill go with dipping the pen in the company ink!

Strap yourselves in, this is a bit of a long one but ill try to trim the fat here and there. Im giving the FULL story.

So this girl I work with, lets call her Sarah, is on this team with me. Ive only really talked with her and known her since we pulled back into port which is about 4-5 months. In that time frame I have smashed her twice in the span of about 5 days and one of those times was on her birthday. 8)

SO. TO THE START.

We work together so we began talking and we go out drinking together. One night we were drinking and it was me, her and a friend of hers. Her phone rings and she goes outside, after a few minutes she pokes her head in, looks at me and does that "inch worm finger movement" which tells me to "come here now" so I go out there and shes telling me how some guy called her and hes sorta her friend but more like a, and I quote, "A drunk and disappointing booty call" and hes asking her to come hang with him. I basically say why would she leave a good time here to go to a shitty time, she realizes I'm right. I'm looking around like a paranoid deer because its getting kinda late so I'm looking for the 5-0 and I hear her say "Hey" I turn around and BAM. Were swapping spit in the middle of the street outside the bar. That goes on for a little bit and she pulls back and tells me she likes me. We had to go back inside or her friend would have come out. Nothing happened that night, but it laid the ground work down.

Another night were out drinking and its getting kinda late, like past the drinking curfew late, and we happen to run into a girl who is on the same working team as us. So we follow her to one of the "secret" bars which isnt a secret but far from where the Shore Patrol roams around. Its a tiny place and were drinking having a good time. Shes sitting next to me and our friend is on the other side of the table. Im not sure how this started, but she is like straight up MOLESTING me under the table and I'm doing it right back. Were doing this right in front of our friend who is none the wiser. She was talking to one of her friends so me and Sarah are whispering to each other and she says shes down to fuck me if I am to which I reply "Of course I am". So we decide to leave and try to find a hotel for the night, everything is fucking booked and it looks like were fucked. We get back on base and I consider it an unlucky night. But she tells me to follow her so I so. She leads me to the FEMALE BARRACKS where she lives. We get in, she checks to see if her room mate is there or asleep, I cant remember if she was or not but im pretty sure she was. We go into the bathroom and do it doggy style standing up with the shower on for most of the time. She likes it pretty rough, id go to grab her tit and shed grab my hand and make me grab harder, awww yeah. We were both pretty drunk so neither of us came, kinda lame but still fun. We decided to end it and when we were getting out we noticed the condom had dissappeared. We look in the drain and there it is, she grabs it and its filled with water like a penis shaped water balloon and we have a good laugh. I crash at her place, wake up the next morning before she does and leave without waking her up.

Another night, she had convinced me to go drinking with her and I said I would because its her birthday and even though this is the NIGHT BEFORE I fly out of Japan to go on leave, I go. Similar as before, drinking, good time and I we meet up with a friend of mine and go to another "secret bar" my friend is across the table like before and me and Sarah are on the opposite side. Once again were molesting each other, and we dont have to whisper to each other this time, we know whats gonna go down. So we decide to leave but I have no condoms. So I askmy friend for one trying to be sly and not hint that Im about to bang her because were keeping it on the DL. He doesnt so we go back to her barracks and its on her bed this time. It was dark but after awhile my eyes adjusted. I fingered her for god knows how long and I was close to getting her off but I didnt. I was sure I did at one point when it clenched around me but I guess not. Then she went to blow me and god. DAMN. She was biting. Not my dick. No. She was biting my ear and PULLING so hard I had to lean forward to lessen the pain and god damn it was AWESOME. She was telling me it was okay to make some noise even though I thought we were trying to be quiet. I dont think her room mate was there this time so when she was biting and shit Id let out a painful moan and she just kept GOING AT IT. I had told her before not to be afraid to leave any marks because I can tell she wanted to. She didnt but god damn my ears and neck were read as fuck the next morning. Well she was blowing me and I was getting close so she had me finish off myself right onto her stomach. I couldnt sleep over that night what with my flight the next morning and all, so I left after all was said and done. She kinda cleaned herself up with a towel afterwards but I dont think she got everything 8)

So now to finish up this story real quick and kinda crummy.

Ive tried to get with her again a few times but have been denied every time (Just 2) and the last time I thought it was definetely gonna happen, SHE called ME out that night and this was st pattys day, I ask if shes inviting me to her place and she says she isnt, so I thought id try to be sly and ask if I can get my jacket I left there back, well my slyness didnt help and I dont think she was that drunk but long story short she said she was "in love" with that "dissappointing drunk booty call" who is now back stateside on leave. What the fuck? Well I left it at that, havent been out drinking with her even though the oppurtunity hasnt come up since shes been having to work on the weekends. But ive been playing the field and I think I've gotten inside her head and Im pretty sure she doesnt want that other drunk boot call. Last night she messaged me on Facebook saying she was gonna go drink, basically her trying to get me to come out and I say im fine with my beer. She goes and I dont hear from her until im about to go to bed around 2130, she calls me and shes already been drinking and she wants me to walk over to her barracks and drink with her outside in the smoking area. Knowing damn well I could have easily gone over there and gotten one off even though we had work the next morning, I continued to decline. So hopefully soon something will go down once again because I'm pretty sure I've successfully gotten in her head and fucked it backwards. I smash her twice, one time being on her birthday and now Im suddenly showing little to no interest in her?

Gentlemen, the legends are true, women love that shit. Show interest, smash, leave, they come running back. Its a cruel thing to do but hell, its fun and it seems like it just has to be done. Beat them before they beat you......metaphorically that is I do not condone physical abuse of women even if they like physically abusing men by BITING THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF THEM. ;D

FIN

Thread seems to have gone kinda quiet so Ill have 2 more fresh new options for you guys. Option #1 happened kinda recently.

1) 5000 yen cover charge (roughly $60) or clean a toilet that has puke EVERYWHERE
2) The day my friends alcoholism almost killed him, and he barely had one beer!

Alcoholism.

Does this make me look like the chick from the titanic.

i'm all for the puke covered toilet story

ALCOHOLISM IT IS!

So my friend Gerhard and my black friend Malvern decide to go out to Yokohama pretty early just to do some exploring. We get out there, see the Yodabashi (A fucking tech lovers/geek haven. Its like Newegg and Walmart had sex and made a 10 story tall building to house everything in) and then we decided WE WANTED BEER. Mind you this is something like 11AM, and no one is selling alcohol at this time so we FINALLY find a place in the basement of this mall area and its some kind of omlette restraunt.
We stop in and the menus are all in Japanese but we recgonize the pictures of beer! So we order a beer and whatever looks good on the pictures.
We get our food, and Gerhard takes a few bites and just puts his fork down with a look on his face that seemed like he just came to a realization of the meaning of all life on the earth.
PIT STOP: This is a good time to note that Gerhard is pretty much DEATHLY ALLERGIC to any kind of seafood. Like, if it so much as touches his skin hell break out, walking past the fish market makes him nauseous so INGESTING that shit is...well....deadly unless we can get a medic RIGHT AWAY. Anyway, on with the story.
So I ask him whats up? He just says "Dude, we may need to run to a 7/11 or a Pharmacy and get soem medicine really fucking quick" I ask why and he informs me that he thinks there is shrimp in his omlette. (Sounds weird right? This is Japan guys, remember that)
So we just sit there, me and Malvern are still eating ours and drinking our beer and the waitress comes up and sees Gerhard has barely eaten anything. He explains to her that he cant have seafood and she tells us there is no seafood in his food. Well, even if thats true once you have a sudden realization that you may well possibly DIE your appetite is pretty shot. So me and Malvern barely finish our meal, gerhard leaves his with only 3 bites taken from it. (These fuckers were HUGE) we pay our bill, leave and every 7/11 we passed by we looked for the right medicine for Gerhard just in case he collapsed to the ground and started having seizures but he didnt and he survived that day. So from now on when we get food from a place with no enlgish menu we make DAMN SURE there is no seafood in it.

And after all of that we found a cat in the park just not giving a fuck on a bench and petted it.


Alright, this time NO OPTIONS. WHAT STORY DO YOU GUYS WANNA READ THAT I HAVE NOT POSTED ALREADY? Or hell, ask me a question about a country and Ill tell you what you wanna know.

did you molest any japanese people on the subways? how many? do people really run to school with toasters in their mouths in japan? do girls really walk around wearing zettai ryouiki? do they really close their eyes when they smile?

Quote from Index

did you molest any japanese people on the subways? how many? do people really run to school with toasters in their mouths in japan? do girls really walk around wearing zettai ryouiki? do they really close their eyes when they smile?

I have not molested anyone on the subways but sometimes those things get so damn packed you cant help but rub up on some Japanese girl.
I have not seen them run to school with toasters in their mouth.
I honestly had to google what zettai ryouiki was and after seeing what it is I can say Yeah, pretty much. As they go along their school years the skirts get shorter and shorter, why? I dont know. But around the time they get into high school theyre wearin those skirts, most likely not the long knee socks but yes those skirts get that short and yes they wear them even when the weather is super god damn cold. God bless em'. One time I saw a girl wearing kneesocks in her school uniform that had the playboy bunny around the ankle area. Awwww yeah.
As for them closing their eyes when they smile, kinda. I mean they may not be actually closing their eyes but given their...facial/eye structure it really lookds like theyre closing their eyes when they smile. It can be pretty damn cute sometimes.

I would really like to be stationed in Japan.

Jap bitches = hot.

How's the situation going with that girl you were 'ignoring' for a couple of days? From the pen dipped in company ink story.

Quote from Ashlander

I would really like to be stationed in Japan.

Jap bitches = hot.

Indeed, I mean after awhile you get used to it but I tell you what, when I was back in America on leave I was not rubbernecking as much as I do in Japan.

Quote from Devour

How's the situation going with that girl you were 'ignoring' for a couple of days? From the pen dipped in company ink story.

Meh, we still work and hang out. Supposed to see a movie with her and a couple other friends tomorrow then probably go drinking. The previously mentioned "drunk disappointing booty call" shes "in love" with comes back from leave Sunday and shes been saying shell most likely go out to drink which may end up in her getting plowed that night. And by plowed I dont mean really drunk, heh. Its whatever. Today our boss was giving us a ride from lunch and said another girl on the team was saying were dating and asked us if it was true and we said no. And yesterday my room mates apparently know that ive been hanging out with her and asked if were dating.

EVERYONE THINKS WERE DATING/FUCKING.
Which...I guess we are/were fucking but not lately and no one else knows. Like I said before, I most likely wont get any more poontang from it but whatevski.

tell the story about how you helped the captain fix a leak in his butt quarters.