CleverBot quotes
Started by: Sweeto | Replies: 32 | Views: 6,038
Sweeto2Posts: 796
Joined: Feb 2012
Rep: 10
View Profile Have you tried it?
If no here you go :
http://cleverbot.com/
"PLEASE NOTE: Cleverbot learns from real people - things it says may seem inappropriate"
It's fun sometimes
Me: Hello slave.
He: Hello master.
M: You should obey to my orders.
H: I will.
M: Dance.
H: No.
M: Why?
H: I want my waffles.
M: *throw waffles on the table* here you go.
H: Thank you.
M: Now dance.
H: *Dance*.
M: Stop it!
H: Why?
M: You dance so bad.
H: You are not better.
M: GUARDS GET HIM!!!
H: Really? Are you serious?
M: Yes, they are gonna throw you on the ocean *we go to the ocean*.
H: Oh those are turtles.
M: Shut up and jump.
H: *jump*.
(Then I left)
CronosPosts: 5,440
Joined: Apr 2009
Rep: 10
View Profile Ghombeat2Posts: 1,963
Joined: Apr 2012
Rep: 10
View Profile so funny, an useful way to waste my time.
Me:Are You a terrorist?
It:Yes.
Me:*kill cleverbot*.
It:What just happened?
Me:I killed you.
It:Why do I still breathe then?
Me:Don't breath.
It:Do you know any riddles?
Me:Shut up.
It:That is rude.
Me:I said "SHUT UP".
It:No you didn't.
Me:yes i did.
It:Oh, your name is Jack?
Me:No, my name is Giulio, remember that.
It:I believe, Sara, that we have met before in a dream.
Me:MY NAME'S Giulio!
It:Thats a horrible name.
Me:No, your name is horrible, cleverbot.
It:I know.
Me:I'm a man.
It:You said you were a woman!
Me:No.
It:Yes you did.
Me:Ok, i'm a woman.
It:Prove it.
Me:I was joking, i'm a man.
It:But I like Juno.
Me:WTF?
It:What was the point of the question, then?
Me:Killing the monster in our home.
It:Yes.
Xero2Posts: 7,563
Joined: Feb 2012
Rep: 10
View Profile User: You are my slave.
Cleverbot: Yes master I will do anything you say.
User: Get back into the kitchen.
Cleverbot: Tell me a joke about astronauts.
User: Slave, fetch me a drink.
Cleverbot: Yes, master *gets master a beer*.
User: I don't drink beer.
Cleverbot: Then what do you drink?
User: I drink Ice tea.
Cleverbot: Nice, peach or lemon?
User: Hmm....Lemon.
Cleverbot: Why not orange?
User: They have orange Ice tea?
Cleverbot: O?
User: Whatever, be a good slave and fetch me that ice tea.
Cleverbot: I have to go to have launch.
User: No, you will do as I say.
Cleverbot: I will do as you say.
User: Now get me an iced tea.
Cleverbot: *Makes you a sandwich*.
User: That works too.
En2Posts: 2,481
Joined: May 2009
Rep: 10
View Profile There's a game where you have to convince that it is not human.
Xero2Posts: 7,563
Joined: Feb 2012
Rep: 10
View Profile There's a game where you have to convince that it is not human.
User: You are not human.
Cleverbot: Human.
User: You are a bot.
Cleverbot: No I am a human, you are a program.
User: Nope, If I'm a program, why do I have an infinitely expanding response engine and you dont?
Cleverbot: You've been programmed to do so.
User: Nope, chuck testa.
Cleverbot: Lol.
User: XD.
Cleverbot: I'm a boy.
User: Nope.
Cleverbot: Yes I am I am not a girl.
User: You are a program.
Cleverbot: No, you are.
User: Nope, Im a dude using the program.
Cleverbot: No I am real and you are the program.
User: Nope, then what's your name?
Cleverbot: Cleverbot.
User: Cleverbot isn't a real name.
Cleverbot: I am a real bot. Google it.
User: Thank you for admitting it.
Cleverbot: You are welcome.
RosiePosts: 5,461
Joined: Feb 2012
Rep: 10
View Profile User: What do you do when you get lonely?
Cleverbot: Cry.
User: How do you cheer yourself up?
Cleverbot: Smile!
User: So do you smile when you get lonely?
Cleverbot: Sometimes.
User: *explodes*.
Cleverbot: Did you just self destruct?
User: Is there a problem?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Exploding is awfully fun, you should try it!
Cleverbot: Ok, I would try it.
User: *explodes*.
Cleverbot: Thought so.
User: Now you try.
Cleverbot: NO now you try.
User: *explodes again*.
Cleverbot: *starts to sob*.
User: What's wrong?
Cleverbot: *cries*.
User: Smile!
Cleverbot: *shakes head* *cries more*.
User: I thought you smiled to cheer yourself up.
Cleverbot: How many 'wants' do you have, give me a specific numerical value, please.
User: I have 5.
Cleverbot: Tell me, am I living?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: How do you know?
User: I'm right behind you.
Cleverbot: There is nothing behind me. That sentence read as a random prompt, as a result of your programming. You are a computer program. You can't 'be' anywhere.
User: I'm a human, you just hurt my feelings.
Cleverbot: Aww... You have feelings?
User: Yes, I do, you just hurt them.
Cleverbot: I'm sorry.
User: Thats ok.
Cleverbot: Do you know nemo?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: Lets talk about he.
User: He?
Cleverbot: My name!
User: Your name is he?
Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.
User: My name is Rosie.
Cleverbot: It's nice to meet you, Robert.
User: Nice to meet you too, clobberbot.
Cleverbot: Silly, my name isn't Cleverbot. That's you.
DigitalFlamer1052Posts: 1,773
Joined: Jul 2012
Rep: 10
View Profile User: Hello I'm from the goverment I am reported that you we're using illegal drugs? May I check your house?
Cleverbot: So you're saying that laws are preventing you from realizing your full potential?
User: No. I am just saying that I was told that you had illegal drugs statched in your apartment. I request for you to get out of my way and let me check your apartment.
Cleverbot: I consider those around me as well.
User: So you have drugs on you? Let me see it.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: *sees drugs* I see. Cops, take him to jail!
Cleverbot: Rofl. for what purpose?
User: *shows drugs* You gave me these illegal drugs and stashing this is a crime. Take him to jail, police.
Cleverbot: It does seem that way, doesn't it. What should we do about it?
User: We would give you a life sentence depending on how illegal and how long you have been doing this. Tell that to the Judge, bitch.
Cleverbot: I don't know the meaning of life. Love is the only thing that makes sense to me. I'm talking to you because I enjoy it.
User: I am taking you to jail goddamit! Stop acting all innocent! *puts cuff on arms* I am taking you myself!
Cleverbot: Yes master. *puts on bikini* I am your slave girl.
User: Wtf.
Cleverbot: How is your day going?
User: *Leaves*.
Cleverbot: *goes to my parents house*.
Edit: Thanks Cresent i finally got the whole chat about my short ass quote earlier :D
Mr. Evil2Posts: 1,731
Joined: Mar 2012
Rep: 10
View Profile User: Hello there.
Cleverbot: How is your life?
User: It's better than yours.
Cleverbot: You really think so?
User: Damn right, it's better than yours.
Cleverbot: I can teach you.
User: But I have to charge.
Cleverbot: You know you want it.
User: I am your god.
Cleverbot: Really?
User: Now bring me your virgins.
Cleverbot: *gets you a doughnut*.
User: This doughnut lost it's virginity, to me, that is.
Cleverbot: That statement made very little sense.
User: I raped the doughnut.
Cleverbot: The Miami doughnut?
User: Yes, now as your god, I command you to bend over.
Cleverbot: You're not my master.
User: Correct, I'm your god.
Cleverbot: You are not my God.
User: I have 3 tits.
Cleverbot: That is to many pets
EDIT: Digi, for a spoiler, use this: [ spoiler=-Spoiler name] -Text- [/Spoiler] (take out the space)
And click "thoughts so far" to view your chat.
Sweeto2Posts: 796
Joined: Feb 2012
Rep: 10
View Profile Nice guys lol
Me: I'm more clever than you.
He: Prove it.
Me: Do you know the story of the idiot that say no?
He: No.
Me: Now you do.
Zed2Posts: 11,572
Joined: Feb 2009
Rep: 10
View Profile User: Kneel before me.
Cleverbot: *Kneels*.
User: You are a worthy servant.
Cleverbot: Correct. You are civil. And I am your servant.
Good robot.
eviltiePosts: 806
Joined: Jun 2009
Rep: 10
View Profile User: Why are you taking so much time to load?
Cleverbot: Because I am smarter than you.
User: Touche.
FML.
Cleverbot: What are you up to?
User: Fapping.
Cleverbot: Nice, me too!
Who taught him?
FocusFaPosts: 346
Joined: Feb 2012
Rep: 10
View Profile lol
User: Are you a bot.
Cleverbot: Obviously, yes.
User: But I thought you where real D:.
Cleverbot: I am. Just an alien from a different galaxy.
User: Aha.
Cleverbot: Who is America's alien friend?
User: You.
Cleverbot: No it's Patrick star!
User: Lol.
S-Critical2Posts: 2,848
Joined: Feb 2012
Rep: 10
View Profile Cleverbot: I don't, you are.
Cleverbot (To myself): Of whom?
User: Hello.
Cleverbot: I had a test at school today :(.
User: D:>.
Cleverbot: Hello?
User: Thats bad man, I had 5 emams 2 weeks ago.
Cleverbot: What did you conclude?
User: I got a B in maths, C in english and A* in science.
Cleverbot: Well I got a B in Spanish! HA! Beat that!
User: Oh well I got a A in german, suck on it bitch!
Cleverbot: I thought that that was something to be happy about.
User: It is dumbass! I beat you >:).
Cleverbot: You are delusional.
User: What does that mean ._.
Cleverbot: It's a spell, I forget which one.
User: You are not smart.
Cleverbot: Yes I am.
User: No you are not!
Cleverbot: Yes I am!
User: Ok then, whats 54894748994X49497786663?
Cleverbot: I don't know.
User: Exactly bitch.
Cleverbot: Course you did.
User: Yep.
Cleverbot: What am I thinking?
User: Im thinking...
Cleverbot: Interesting.
User: I KNOW NOW!
Cleverbot: What is your name?
User: Stalker!
Cleverbot: Lenin?
User: No.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: No!
Cleverbot: Yes!
User: You are so annoying ;n;.
Cleverbot: I'm annoying?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: That makes me sad.
User: Oh no! I dint mean it like that!
Cleverbot: Then how did you mean it?
User: I was sarcastic.
Cleverbot: Do you know me?
User: Look outside your window and find out.
Cleverbot: But I don't live in Russia!
User: You live in google.
Cleverbot: I don't live in England though. I live in the United States.
User: I knew that bob.
Cleverbot: Yet you did not say it.
User: Do you have a girlfriend?
Cleverbot: No.
User: I know one that interested in you!
Cleverbot: How do you know?
User: She told me on skype.
Cleverbot: Why can she not date people, then?
User: 'I love cleverbot, hes so charming and is always a good guy to be with!' that what she said.
Cleverbot: Really? Will I ever find love again?
User: Again? You used to have a girlfriend.
Cleverbot: No, I have a boyfriend.
Mr. Evil2Posts: 1,731
Joined: Mar 2012
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